Warning! Contents of this post are little all over the place

I was reading a friend's blog today and she was talking about some things that I have had some experience with. It is hard to hear things from family that we should not hear from them. Families and home should be a sactuary from the world. When we go home we should have some protection and be in places that uplift and renew us. Sometimes that isn't the case. I grew up in a home where everyone was very critical of everyone else. My mom was 19 when she got married and my dad was 22. My mom has always been very critical of what I should look like and be. My dad use to be pretty critical of me until I told him what I really thought of what he said and the effect it was having on me. When I am having a hard time with something my mom will join the complaint bandwagon and even throw in some things that I didn't even think of to make me feel worse. For example, I have always had trouble with my weight. All of my friends are skinny mini's with the perfect body and it seems they don't have to try hard to get that way. I had two friends that had babies and they both gained about 35 lbs. Less than a month after the births my friends were back to their pre-pregnancy weights and looking better than ever. I look at a piece of cheesecake and gain 10 lbs, no lie. I recently lost about 20 pounds and am pretty happy about the success. When I was home for Christmas my dad and I were taking our blood pressures. My dad, for some unknown reason, has high blood pressure and is on meds so he has to check it all the time. I decided to check mine since I hadn't done so in a long time. My systolic pressure was through the roof while my diastolic was fine. I told my mom and all she could say was, "I guess you need to lose more weight." Then I told her I don't understand how my pressure could be like that seeing that I exercise all the time and don't eat alot of unhealthy stuff and with the current weight loss my pressure should not be that high. All my mom could say was that I should try harder. My mom is also not happy that I am not dating anyone. For the first year I lived here she would ask me every time I talked to her if I was dating anyone. My mom wants me to get married and start having kids so bad that she has already started buying baby clothes for her future grandchildren. She is upset that I did not follow in her footsteps and get married at a young age. Alot of it has to do with being a Mormon girl. For some reason in the Mormon community if you are not married before graduating college there is something wrong with you, or so it seems. I look at the generation my parents grew up in and the generation I have grown up in and realize that they are two totally different generations. My parents grew up in a time when the woman's place was in the home and that was what was most important. I still believe the most important work a woman can do is in her home with her children, but I am not even close to being there, so it's not a big deal to me right now. Today's 20/30 something women have benefited greatly from the women's lib movement. Women have more opportunities than what was afforded them in the past and that is a great thing. There are just some things our parents don't understand.
I have learned to handle what my parents say with a grain of salt. I think at some point in time parents try to live vicariously through their children so that they can make a choice they never were able to make or regret not making. I know my parents want the best for me. I listen to what they have to say and then go and do what I know I need to do while still keeping what they have said in mind. I have learned that family can say some harsh things and be very critical of one another, but I still love them. They have supported me through all my ups and downs, good times and bad times. I have also learned that the only person who can make me feel inferior is me (Thank you for that quote Eleanor Roosevelt). I can't let someone else dampen my image of me. When that happens I have to remember that I am a daughter of God and he knows how beautiful I really am and what I can become. Even when things get are difficult and the world seems to turn it's back on you, you can always turn to your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for comfort, strength and support.

It's 2009 and I am sitting here doing nothing but play on the computer. The past year has been full of learning experiences and I expect 2009 to be the same. As I look back on 2008 I realize how much I didn't accomplish but also how much I did accomplish. My main goal for 2008 was to get out of where I work and start doing something I have been wanting to do for awhile, coaching high school soccer. That goal was never met. It was heart-breaking for me. For the first time in my life I set a goal and I did not reach it. I was close and I watched as opportunity after opportunity slipped just out of my reach thinking that the next one was going to be the one. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have anything to look forward to for this year. It turned out to be a pretty good thing that happened. One of my accomplishments for 2008 was finally feeling more like an adult. No more help from Mom and Dad. Although I love their help, I wanted to be more independent. My parents don't like it, but I think they have known this was coming for a long time now. Their little girl is finally all grown up.
Last night was a blast as I spent the evening with friends dancing and making sure all the food was just right. There were some speed bumps along the way that made my blood boil a bit though. In one of my past posts I talked about someone that wanted to dye my hair because she felt that my hair did not match my eyebrows. She was at it again. This time it was all about shooting down ideas from other people because the "future wedding and event planner" already had everything all planned out how she wanted it done. Funny, I always thought that planners had to know how to listen to others and what they want, not what the planner wants. Hmmmmm, will there be success in that business? I have been doing parties and things like this event since I was 11/12 years old and I know what I am doing with food and epediting the food so that it is the freshest and best quality it can be. I wanted to be a caterer for many years but I also had other things I wanted to do so I went a different path. Trying to tell me how to do things does not bode well with me. The best part of this, she was suppose to get the dollar store champagne glasses for the Martinelli's and she never did so we ran out of cups for the whole toast at the end of the night. She then wanted me to put the Martinelli's out at 10pm because, "everyone is here that is coming". Hellooooo! It's a singles dance. I know that everyone will not show up within an hour of the dance starting so to serve the toasting drink before the toast when I know the nature of the dances does not make sense to me. DUH! Instead of looking at the people with experience in these things and having trust and faith in them that they know what they are doing is not going to bode well when you have a business. You have to be able to make connections and relationships with your vendors. If you rub even one of them the wrong way you could lose everything you have built. You can't go in to the professional florist and tell him/her that you don't like what they have created for your client, especially after the client has already signed off on it. You can't expect a bride to listen to you when you won't listen to her and give her what she wants. One of my master's professors once told me that when dealing with people you have to remember that it's not about you, it's what's best for the other person. You may not like what is going on but it's not about you. If you can't think about the other parties involved then you are going to be the most stressed person in the world and end up doing nothing and losing whatever you have. So maybe not that dramatic, but dude, you have to listen to other people and stop thinking that your way is the only and correct way to do things. It is not a "my way or the highway" life. In order to still have a good night, I tried to avoid that person at all cost. This person also felt that she should have more of the Martinelli's than everyone else even after telling her that since we don't know how many people are there and how many are going to want to the drink we have to ration it until everyone that wants any has some. Afterwards, the rest of the bottles were placed on the table and it was free-for-all. Some people just get on your last nerve and you can't be around them or deal with them. I am so totally over it all. Whatever, cry a river build a bridge and get over it.
2009 will be another extension of another year with even more to experience. Maybe this year will be different. There will still be trials. There will still be laughter and fun. And I will still be me, Katie G.

This week has been really stressful and I almost completely broke down in class on Friday. I hate that the kids had finals Monday - Thursday and we still had to go to school on Firday. What is the point of going to school when finals have already been taken. I don't know how much more of this backward thinking I can handle. Will I be able to make it next semester? I am tired of everyday fighting the same stupid fight that I have been fighting this whole year. So far, my predictions of this school year have been correct. The kids are way more out of control than ever due to assistant principals that no one really cares for. Also, the assistant principals seem to be on the kid's and parent's sides rather than backing up the teachers. I have been backed up so far this year, but other teachers have not been backed up. The handbook has gone out the window. There is no consistency with anything at all. I am so frustrated to the point that I don't want to go to work anymore. Good thing it's Christmas break. I could not handle another week like this past week. I just hope everything is different next semester. There are so many other things that could be going on in that school to make it better for everyone involved with it, but they are not going to listen to an American girl. There is so much sexism that goes on that it's absolutely appalling. Every time I have suggested something it goes on deaf ears. Every time a Turkish male suggests the same thing after listening to me it's all good. I need a change and I need to get out of that school and move on to what I really want to be doing, coaching high school soccer and teaching. It's really hard to catch a break in that biz. I have been trying for a very long time and I can't seem to get in. It's hard. I am tired of settling for something less. I seem to always settle and its not fair to me. There are certain things I never settle for, but for some reason with the more important things in my life I tend to settle.
I guess one of my goals for 2009 can be to not settle for anything less than my best. It's going be a long road to really find out what my best is. I don't know if I hvae ever been at my best. Actually, I don't know if I have been at my best since I have moved to SA. I feel as though I was my best when I was in EP. I guess because I felt like I was needed where I was. I could leave here and there will always be someone to pick up where I left off. It's comforting knowing that I can leave and everything be taken care of, but does it make me do and be my best? Not really, knowing I can pawn something off on someone doesn't make me care to be my best. This coming year is about being my best. Best attitude, best work, best service I can give, best I can do.

Another Great Saturday

My car finally has a name. Thanks to Shelly for helping me pick a name in Austin last night. As we drove past Dawson street Shelly said "How about Dawson?" I thought that was a great name and it just kinda stuck. So my car's name is Dawson.

Yesterday I had alot of fun. I ran in two 5K's. The Reindeer Dash was fun. It is a lesser known 5K in SA. It starts at Sam's Burger Joint, goes by the Witte and down through part of Brackenridge Park then back. It was a good run. Too bad I am a horrible morning runner. My hips always cramo when I run in the mornings. So I did about a mile and a half with cramping hips, not so much fun. It was still a fun, relaxing run though. I got a really cute shirt so I'm not complaining. The second 5K was the Austin Trail of Lights at Zilker Park. I went with Shelly since everyone else flaked out on us. People didn't so much flake out but had other things come up. So Shelly and I had a great time running with a thousand or so other people around the park. It was lighted so beautifully. I am a little upset that my camera hoovers at night. I don't know why, but I couldn't take a good picture to save my life. So I have what I like to call "The Blurry Album". I took most of the pictures while I was running and thought it would make for a great memory of the fun times. Some of the pictures turned out to be pretty cool looking. The rest are really just a blur. Too bad more people did not go. It was a great time. Oh, and my hips did not cramp. It was a much better run. We also saw the funniest sight - A Santa Parade. There were so many different Santa's walking down Congress. There was the normal Santa's, the thin, the fat and even the Disco Santa. It was a great sight that you can only find in Austin. Keep Austin Weird! You had to be there. I don't have any good pictures of the Santas so I am posting the pictures that came out okay.

These are the lights on the tunnel as I ran through it.

Shelly and I before the race showing off our goody bags. We got the coolest blinking lights for night running. Now I can run at night in nicer weather and be more visible to those crazy Texas drivers.

Another lighted tunnel. The stars were beautiful.

The giant tree at Zilker Park. Go under the tree and look at the lights. I heard if you spin while under the lights it's really cool. If I did that I would be so sick for the next three days. No seriously, motion sickness is not a good thing with me.

The Christmas tree outside the Capitol Building witha view of Congerss street behind it. I really picked the wrong picture to place here, but I am too lazy to change it up.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Study Hall

Oh the joys of study hall. Remember when you were a kid and study hall was always so quiet and people did their work? Yeah, right! Study hall was the best time ever if you didn't get caught talking or writing notes or doing something else you weren't suppose to do. I actually took study hall seriously, I had to. Most nights of the week when high school soccer wasn't in season, I was travelling to Austin for practices or games. The only time I could study or do homework was during the mandatory study hall my high school had for all athletes. If I tried to study in the car or on the bus I would get motion sickness so bad it would sometimes last into the next morning (and it only gets worse the older I get). Now-a-days study hall is just another time to socialize with friends. Kids today aren't scared of getting kicked out of something for not following the rules. They know mommy and daddy will come to their rescue and get them back into whatever they were kicked out of. Sad, but true. Study hall is great place, for the kids. The kids go in sit back and play their little games and think I am not looking or that I don't know what is going on. Of course, I can't catch everything they are doing but I catch them most of the time. They tend to forget that I was their age once and did the same things they are trying to do. When I do catch the kiddos they try to get out of it by saying, "But you let me do it before." "Really, I did? When?" "Uhhhhhhhmmmmm, like, a few days ago." "I don't remember that. What did I tell you?" Ahhhh the silence and being caught in a lie. Beautiful! It's also really fun seeing the reaction when I pull out my cell phone and tell the kids to call their parents and tell them why they are being kicked out of study hall. "No no no no no no no! Don't call my mom, call my dad. Mom will kill me! You can't call my mom. I promise, no more problems, no more." That usually works for about a week then it's back to the same behaviors. At least it's a week of silence from those one or two kids. Study Hall isn't too bad. I just wish there were less kids that would use it as a vacation spot and more that would actually study. Who am I kidding? It's middle school kids, they will never use it as a place to study. The joys of study hall. Remember when?

In the Christmas Mood

I am finally in the Christmas mood. Last night's First Presidency Christmas Devotional really helped with that. I love the Christmas Devotional because it brings Christ back into CHRISTmas. The talks were wonderful and the MoTab was amazing as usual. I look forward to the devotional every year. I love the sights and sounds as the conference center is all decorated with lights and trees.
I was also more in the mood after going to La Cantera this afternoon. Since I had the day off today I decided to catch-up on some household things and do a little shopping. I went to the Apple Store to check some stuff for my brother and to buy an adapter for my shuffle so I could listen to it in the car. I then went to the Coach Store. I love that place. I can't afford anything there, but since I bought a bag at the factory outlet (which I love since the bags are more affordable) last Christmas I became one of their "preferred customers" and had a 25% off card. So I decided to buy a little something. I bought the cutest little wrist bag. It's not the normal leather bag but more of a satiny type of material and it is full of color. It's so cute. I also bought a chocolate brown wrist bag for a friend. I can't make it to her bridal shower this weekend and I told her I would buy her a really nice gift. I had planned on buying something from her registry, but since I know she loves Coach I decided to get her the little bag. The "coupon" made the purchase more digestible. I love those things. I also stopped in the Sony store to look at what my dad wants for Christmas. He wants a portable dvd player so when he is on the road with soccer he can actually relax a little and maybe not be so sick on the bus rides. I found one and I like it. It doesn't play blu-ray, but I don' think there are any that do. Once they come out with a portable blu-ray I know my dad will want that and then he can give me his regular dvd player. The gift that keeps on giving. Again, I love it!
All I have to do now is put up my decorations. I am a minimalist when it comes to the decorations. I have a few nativity scenes that my mom has given me throughout the years and I display them in different areas around my living room. I think my favorite though is one my dad gave me that is very simple. It is Mary holding the baby Jesus Christ. It looks as though she is singing to the child (from a distance of course). It is simple and beautiful, it's my favorite. It also reminds me that Christmas is not about the presents or Santa and his reindeer. It is about Christ and his birth and sacrifice. Christ gave me the best gift anyone can give another person. He gave me the opportunity to live with my Heavenly Father again. Because of Him I am able to make a mistake and then repent and be forgiven. I am able to have the Holy Ghost with me when I am doing the right things. I am able to choose what path I take to get back to my Father. Because of Christ I have the blessings I have today. I am grateful for Christ and what He did for all mankind. Let us all remember what this time of year is really about and not get caught up in the worldliness of it all. Live, laugh, love , serve, remember.

December 7

So I know it is now December 8 but when I thought about this it was December 7. I am going to write about it anyway. December 7 is known as "the day that will live in infamy forever". On this day in 1941 Pearl Harbor, Hawaii was hit by Japanese airmen. Killing many and sinking some of the most beautiful machinery I have ever seen. The United States of America officially entered World War II after this event. When I was in college I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii to play soccer and visit the Pearl Harbor Memorial. The day we went alot of the girls did not want to go They thought it was not the right thing to do in Hawaii. Like going to a bar or to the beach is okay when you still have a game to play, the whole reason you are there? So many of the girls were not happy about going. Did these girls not understand that if it had not been for that place that we would not be the country we are today and they would not have the opportunities that they have to study in the US (many of the girls were not from the US) and receive a great education and play soccer? Whatever, they can think what they want. While we were there, there were two men who had survived Pearl Harbor and WW II. One man was selling and signing the book he had written about the places and people he met during WW II. The other was one of the characters in the book who, due to age related things, had to have his daughter help him sign the books. All I could do was sit in admiration for their courage and willingness to serve. We then went into a room where they have a video that talks about that day and what to expect when going to the memorial. After the video we hopped on a boat and rode out to the memorial. I wish it had been sunny so I could have seen the ship underneath the memorial, but that's okay because I still got some cool pictures (which will not be posted because I did not have a digital camera at the time. If you want to see pix let me know and I will show them to you the old fashioned way). I honestly thought I would cry while on the memorial, especially after seeing the wall of the names of all those who died. But I didn't. It was a solemn feeling. A feeling of deep gratitude and respect. The oil that still leaks from the ship today (67 yrs later) is a reminder that something actually happened on December 7, 1941. I had the experience of my life. Hopefully I never forget it. I will always have a deep respect for those that serve this great country, especially in times of turmoil and strife. I am grateful for this country and for the freedoms (that have been in jeopardy before) that I have. I will never forget this day and the importance it holds for our country, MY home, the United States of America.