I went to the ENT yesterday to find out if there was any more information that she can give me about my whole situation. I will be going in for some more scans tomorrow to find out more. If there is anything on the parathyroid I will have surgery next Thursday. If that's the case, it will be good to get everything done before I go back to working full-time on August 9. It does put a little kink in my plans though. I am suppose to have some dental work done next Friday, that may not be happening. If I have the surge on Thursday the doctor wants me in the hospital for 23 hrs (so it's still considered an out-patient surgery) because I am a red-head. I guess she has had experiences with red-heads and this surgery. I have never had any real problems directly after a surge, but if that's what she wants, then that is what she will get.





Last night I went to the temple. It felt so good and so many of my worries were put to rest. It's great to be able to go to the temple and have that feeling of joy, happiness and peace. After I left the temple I called Leland and told him that we are both going to get to the Celestial Kingdom no matter how hard we have to work. Since he was at the Rangers game with his dad last night I went by myself. I told him it was so wierd to be sitting in the Celestial Room and not have him come walking through the doors. It made me a little sad to know that there are people whose families don't make it back. The feelings I was feeling, well, I don't want to feel like that ever again. This life is about experience and work. There are no free passes to the Celestial Kingdom. Faith without works is dead. It's not enough to know, but you have to do. I hope I am doing what I need to do in order to not feel the way I did in the Celestial Room and so my relatives do not have to experience those feelings as well.

Summer of Crazy

I feel like the Cathy cartoon, AAAAAAAAACK! The school year is nearing and new principal is going to be way different. He wants all graffiti cleaned off the walls right after it happens (not at the end of the day because that takes too long) and the paint can will be in my office. "If you don't have control in your restrooms, you don't have control anywhere else". Direct quote from said new principal. I am a little weary about how this year is going to go. It's going to be, well, interesting. Every year with a new principal is always interesting. They all come in with their own agenda and try to force it upon everyone else. I think this is the fifth principal in my going on six years now. Outside of one other person, I have been on this campus the longest and know this building and the things that need to happen. On top of that we are going to be more ghetto than ever. Now, new principal wants to place a fence (chain link no doubt) around the dismissal area for, "the safety of the children". The kids thought it felt like a prison here before, now they are going to really feel like they are in a prison. In talking with new guy I felt that my concerns were not heard or really cared for, but we will see what happens in the next few months. Crazy, crazy.

What else in the past few weeks? I finally went to a real doctor. I know shocking, me going to a doctor for something other than an emergency? I can say that I have a real doctor that I can see for all the little things, but know I will only go for periodic blood testing and a yearly physical. This physical was an experience. I went in to ask a few questions in get all my levels tested to see how well I am. The doc noticed some strange things with my results. My red blood cell count is really high meaning my body is making too many red blood cells. This is a sign for sleep apnea, yay. I still have to do a sleep study for that one. He also noticed my bilirubin levels were high too meaning there is something wrong with my liver. After going through an ultrasound of the abdomen, it was found that my liver is fine but I do have what is known as Gilbert's (pronounced jill bears) Syndrome. Basically, my liver is a little sluggish in flushing out the toxins. No biggie though. He also noticed that my calcium levels were really elevated and much higher than they should be. Knowing that my mom has parathyroid issues he saw that as a red flag and ordered another blood test to check out my pth (parathyroid hormone) levels. The big news, I have hyperparathyroidism. After seeing those levels I went in for another ultrasound and they found three nodules in the parathyroid region. Tomorrow I go to the ENT to find out more. Basically, the parathyroid controls calcium levels in the blood. If the para is messed up it will sense that there is not enough calcium in the body and it will take it from the bones causing elevated levels of calcium in the blood. Many people do not see that as a big problem, but it has huge ramifications. Many people, like my mom, don't find out they have this problem until after they have kidney stones or something else happens. You can have this for years and never know. I don't know how long I have had this, but as I look back on the past year and half I can tell when I started feeling different and noticing something wasn't clicking. I just thought I was having a difficult time with some changes in my life, but now it looks as though that's when my para could have been starting to act up. The only way to cure this is through surgery. No meds or alternative therapies can fix the problem. If there is a nodule, I will have to have surgery. Once the surgery is done, the problem is over. Hopefully I can get things taken care of quickly. I do worry about things like this, but I just have to roll with the punches. And right now life is handing a lot of them to me. I know some of the things that are happening are out of my control. Okay, almost everything is out of my control and I am trying to deal with that and understand that, but it's so hard to do. A lot of faith and a lot of prayer.

On the plus side, Leland, the luckiest man in the world, had some luck fall upon him. So it's not the funding he is looking for to finish his dissertation, but it is something to get him away from some stress. He won tickets to the Texas Rangers baseball game tomorrow night! Incredible! Since I had previously made plans with a friend, he will be taking his dad along for an incredible trip. He wins everything, concert tickets, sporting event tickets, iPads. Man, I got one lucky guy =0)

I have successfully caught you up on my dealings. Oh, yeah, we finally moved to a new place! A cute 2 bed 2 bath apartment. Now all we need is a little doggie and life will be complete, for now ;) Have a wonderful week!

What a Month!

I can't believe it has already been a month since my last post! A few things have happened since then. Leland and I have started moving into our new apartment which I love. It has been a little difficult in doing that since he is working on his research or clinicals everyday and it has been left up to me to get it done. I understand he is busy, but I feel like I am in this by myself. I was able to go see my parents and my college buddies for a week. It was nice seeing all my EP friends. Jeanne got married and I finally got to meet her little 3 month old, Joshua (absolutely adorable!). Jeanne was so beautiful and happy and her new hubby, Eddie, was just beaming with joy and happiness. Erika, one of the funniest people I know, is about two weeks away from delivering her second (and last) baby, a girl. The rest of the gang is doing well and living the life. I miss those girls and we need a reunion with EVERYONE soon. There were a few that were missing that would have completed the entire thing. My other good college buddy, Kristi, is getting married this weekend. I so wish I could be in Hawaii right now for everything rather than SA doing work and moving everything, but it's all good. I wish her and her hubby the best. They are really the perfect match. Outside all that news, not much else is happening. . .or so I would like you to think.

These past two weeks have been really trying for the both of us. We found out that Leland has no funding to finish his research and has no job opportunity for another, at least, three months. Because congress could not pass a budget the Navy, who was funding his research, had to cut it out of the budget because they didn't know how much money they were going to have. Thanks congress and Obama. My husband was a month away from finishing and presenting his dissertation and now, he may have spent five years wasting his life because you couldn't get your act together. On top of that, we will have to pay upwards of $1800 just so Leland can present his dissertation. We will have to pay a full semester's worth of tuition for a couple of hours of work. Why? Because his advisors will be out of town until August 20, the day he would have to present by in order to not have to pay the tuition. Now, I know his advisors go out of town from July 15 ish to August 20 ish every year, it's a tradition. BUT, if you know you have someone who is about to finish their dissertation, has no more funding, and can't afford to pay another semester and has no job, you can cut your vacation short a couple of days. Leland has been working with these men for five years now and they can't cut him a little slack? On top of that, he has always had to wait on them and other people to do his research because the school doesn't have the equipment necessary. All in all, it's not his fault this has taken so long to complete. It's a whole chain reaction. Oh, the best news we found out about, UTHSCSA is the MOST expensive public university in the entire nation. Awesome. It is going to be a tight couple of months. I am still hoping that the school realizes they are being dee,dee,dees and will find some type of funding out there for him. Prayers and faith are being stretched at this point.

Now on to me. There is a reason I never go to the doctor, even if it is just for a wellness check. No matter what I go in for, the doc always finds something wrong or weird. I finally went to a doctor yesterday to do a routine physical. I was concerned about a couple of things, mainly thyroid/parathyroid issues and diabetes since those things are in my family. They did the normal blood tests and read the lab work. I get a call this morning saying the doctor wanted to see me to discuss my results. There is a litany of things going through my head at this point. I have thyroid problems or diabetes, he found something else, or he was just calling me in to praise me for such good results. Boy was I wrong! All my red blood cell readings were too high indicating that I may have sleep apnea so now I have to go through a diagnostic sleep study. The rest is a little weird and where the weirdness factor comes in. My bilirubin is really high indicating something could be seriously wrong with my liver. Which is weird because I don't drink alcohol nor do I smoke. Best case scenario is that I have a slow running liver and there is no issue. Worst case scenario is that I may have the beginnings if cirrhosis of the liver. Again weird because I don't do the things that would lead to cirrhosis of the liver. The other possibility is a fatty liver because of the extra weight that I have. The extra weight that I cannot get off no matter how much I work out and what type of diet I am on could be the effect of sleep apnea. If that is the case, then there is a simple solution to everything. If that's not the case then we have no idea what is going on. So, there is more stress to add to the piled high stress we already have. Hopefully I will know more tomorrow. Then the blood work showed my calcium levels are way too high which, due to my mom's parathyroid condition, is a concern for me because high calcium is a sign of parathyroid issues. Again, I should have more details in the coming days. The good thing is, my thyroid is perfect and so are the other tests, BP, cholesterol and other stuff. I always knew there was a reason I didn't like going to doctors.

The good thing is, these are little trials that we will get through. I know we have these trials for a reason. They are definitely faith trying. I know that we will both grow from this and learn some pretty cool things. I love that I have the gospel in my life and I know that these things will be for my good. I have the knowledge that these things are placed in my life for a reason and I decide how I am going to view them. When it rains, it pours. But I have the option as if I am going to only see the never-ending rain or if I can look to the extended forecast and see the sunshine ahead. I choose the latter. My Heavenly Father knows what I will be able to handle and he will never give me more than that. I have the responsibility to be faithful and do what I know is right. I see this as a little shower that will end. How long will take? I can't say, but I know I will be okay, that Leland and I will be blessed as long as we stay faithful.

Spritually Filled

This past weekend was just what I needed. The youth of my church had a youth conference this past weekend, "What Are You Broadcasting?" was the theme of the weekend. It was all about what things you are putting out to the world. Are looking for things that are lovely, of good report, or virtuous or praiseworthy? Are you being honest, true chaste, benevolent, virtuous and doing good to those around you? So basically, you are being an example, a light on a hill, to the world around you? The best part of the weekend was being able to listen to Sis Cook, First Counselor of the YW General Presidency, speak. She was fabulous! I was able to hear her speak three times. I would like to share some of the things that I think are most important for the youth today.

- Challenge our youth today. Give them an assignment and let them do it, don't do it for them.
- Have the youth plan and teach so they feel they have some ownership.
- Look at yourself and others as God sees you, not as the world sees you
- Live with virtue
- Serve the world around you
- Serve the Lord
- Serve your family
- One righteous young man/young woman can change the world
- We must teach the doctrines and principles of the church and gospel plainly and bluntly
- Young Women teach the Young Men benevolence
- Young Men teach the Young Women the Keys of the Priesthood

That's only a little bit of the three "trainings" I was able to sit in on. The best thing, I think, that I heard was to challenge our youth. We are so in the habit of not challenging our youth and allowing them to either accomplish the task of fail miserably. We are so afraid to let our kids fail (just look at the school systems and you will completely understand) and learn and grow from their failure. We are to the point that we don't want to challenge our youth so they can accomplish everything they want to. When they do struggle, we take over and don't allow them to struggle, problem solve and figure it all out. We want to take away the hardness of the task so we don't have to see them hurt and struggle. Yes, it hurts to see our youth struggle, but nothing done the easy way is ever truly worth it. We all have struggles and fights but it is how we handle those trials that make us who we are and allow us to grow and learn. If someone is always picking us up when we are down and they do not allow us to fight our way back, we have learned only one thing, that we don't have to fight, someone will always get us out of whatever the problem is and we don't have to do anything. Allow the challenges to come and allow yourself to get back on track. I am not saying we don't help and support them, just don't outright rescue them. Two cents done, now on to the rest of the weekend that I was able to participate in.

Friday I was able to be a COPES facilitator. I went through COPES facilitator training when I was in college and have been doing it with my job for quite some time now. I was so excited for this opportunity, but the guy I was partnered with must have felt I didn't know what I was doing because he took over everything. I had told him I have done facilitation for this age group of kids and that I do it on a regular basis at work and he would not let me get much in edge wise. I had to fight my to say anything. He was stuck on a script that he was given when the kids were learning something not on the script. I was trying to let them continue with the path they were on, but he would always go back to the script. That's okay, the kids learned at least a little something from it. Every group was different with different dynamics and they had to work together for a common goal. Some groups were tougher than others, but the last group of the day was my absolute favorite. They were so engaged in the activity and the discussion that I didn't want them to leave. They thought of things that I never thought about and discussed things that to a normal person would be way above their heads, but they grasped the point. They understood and it was fun to see the light bulb go off in their heads. That is why I love working with the youth. It's those light bulb moments. It was a spiritually fulfilling couple of days and I am so grateful for the opportunity that I had to be a part of it. It totally filled my spiritual tank which was, honestly, a little low. We have a great group of teenagers in the world today, we just have to teach and challenge them to get them on the right track. They will do wonders if we just believe and have faith in them.

The Spark of Memory

It's funny the things we randomly remember from when we were little kids. The other day I was brushing my hair after my shower and the memory of my dad brushing my hair came back. My dad loves long hair and when I was younger I had really long hair, almost to my elbows. On occasion, after my showers my dad would have me sit on the floor in front of him and he would brush my hair until it was dry. My hair would be long, straight and pretty the times he did that. When Mom was out of town or at work and I wanted my hair braided I would sit down on the floor in front of Dad and he would pull my hair into one of those "face-lift" ponytails then braid it. The ponytail and braid, no fail, would always hurt my head and give me a headache, but I didn't care because Dad did it. That was about all he could do with hair, but it worked for me. After that memory had lapsed, I then thought about all the different hair designs my mom did for me. I feel bad for my mom because she did not get the cheerleader daughter she always thought she would have. She got me, the anti-cheerleader, sports enthusiasts who could learn anything but despised cheerleading and cheerleaders. Poor Mom! She always did my hair some really cool different way. It would be in a french braid, french braid pigtails, bun, halo braid, whatever she was feeling for that day. Sometimes it would take an hour for her to do my hair perfectly, but it still looked pretty awesome. Now that I don't have that talent around me anymore, I miss my hair being braided and sitting for long periods of time while someone was doing my hair. I have tried on numerous occasions to braid my hair and do cute things with it, but I can't, I just don't have that skill set. Now my hair is either down or in a ponytail. Oh, well. Maybe sometime in the future I will be able to have those sweet skills, but I won't hold my breath.

Just a Little Rant

What's the deal with people hating on members if the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormons)? I don't get nor do I want to understand the pure hatred. I was reading an article yesterday online and my eye caught hold of a side article. Michael Otterson the public affairs guy for the Church had a couple of opinion articles stating the beliefs and some little known facts of the Church. I sat and read some of the comments that readers wrote and I was just disgusted by the vitriol and hate that was coming from these people. It didn't matter how many people stood up for the Church whether they were members or not, these people would continue to bash and bash and bash some more. It was almost as if they were refreshing their browsers every few minutes so they could jump on in with a comment in support of a fellow basher or find some way to try to prove a supporter of the article wrong or make them doubt what they know to be true. As a member of the Church, I am not going to engage in the arguments and bashing. I know what the truth is and I will be an example of it and live my testimony. I do become angry when I read that stuff (and I should stop reading it) but it is not my position to judge another person for his/her beliefs, so i won't do that. I will say though, it is disheartening when there are other religions and religious leaders that proclaim tolerance for all, but cannot seem to stop hating on the Mormons (the same holds true for all the politicians that are screaming that conservatives/republicans/etc are not tolerant because of their views of society yet, those same people hate and bash and have no tolerance themselves, but that is a discussion for another day). Anyway, rant over, just had to get that off my chest. Ahhhh, I feel better now :)

I had my end-of-the-year evaluation last week. Everything went well. I even got a little bit of a raise. It was a great feeling to know that I will be coming back for another year! I had two complaints from two teachers. It was funny, I wrote a small paragraph on their evaluations about some things that needed improvement for next year, and they wrote two - three pages of complaints against me. What's even better, not once did they ever tell me to my face or write a letter about what they were feeling and it wasn't sent until after the school year ended that the e-mail was sent to my principal. Thankfully, he saw through what they were trying to do and had the same feelings I had. One of the complaints came from a teacher who thought I was always second guessing her and taking authority away from her. I believe in being open with my teachers and telling them what is going on with students and the complaints I receive from them and the stories they tell me when the teacher does not send a referral with the student to my office or call me and let me know what happens. Most of the time I only hear the student's side of the story. Later I ask the teacher what happened and tell them what they student said happened. There was one time when this teacher sent the troubled student to my office with another student to tell me what happened. After the second student told me what happened he then goes on to say that the first kid really wasn't doing anything wrong. So I went and told the teacher what the second kid told me. She thought I was second guessing her abilities. I just wanted to find out from her what happened and let her know that the kids she thinks she can trust are pulling the wool over her eyes and will lie to anyone they can lie to so they do not get into trouble. Perfect example, a kid had his yearbook taken up by this teacher because another student was looking at it during class after she said they could not look at them during class. She comes to me all concerned because the yearbook she had taken up was missing so I check the cameras then do a little investigative work. I see the yearbook everyone was talking about then ask some kids some questions. One kid says, "She never took any yearbooks away from any kids today during class!" I tell her what student had said that and she says that student always tells the truth and never lies. I heard it with my own two ears and saw it with my own two eyes. The kid then goes to her the following day and says he saw the owner of the book pick-up the yearbook from her cart. She believes the kid, even after he bold faced lied to me the day before. I gave her some advice and told her that she can't always trust one kid after only knowing him/her for a school year. The kids I trust have shown me over the course of two to five years that they can be trusted. She also told me that another student lied to me and told her truth about another situation, but refused to give that kid's name. This situation was something that was possibly going to get a kid thrown out of school that should have been thrown out of school, but because the one kid lied to me and signed a statement, the kid who should have been thrown out got to stay. She wants to complain about me undercutting her authority? The other teacher complained about me being unfair in assigning subs and giving my friends an easier sub schedule than what she had. On top of that I am a hypocrite in all ways. Granted, some of the examples she pointed out looked like they could be hypocrisy if she didn't know what I was doing. Every time I was talking to someone in the cafeteria it was about a situation that needed to be handled or a questions a teacher had about a topic, but not once did I ever take my eyes off the students and what they were doing while in the cafeteria. There were many times when I was talking to a teacher would see a student doing something that they should not have been doing and the complaining teacher would walk right by as if nothing was going on and I would have to go ever and handle the situation because she wasn't even paying attention or thought that whatever the kid was doing was okay. There were also many times in which I would look at the camera and she is talking face to face with another teacher while kids are running around the cafeteria, trying to fight, and yelling at others and she didn't do a thing about the situation. Anyways, I could have been a whole lot harsher then what I was in the final evaluation, but I like to give the benefit of the doubt and allow for improvement the next year. I guess they thought they could hammer me like that since I was a teacher last year and they could not deal with me being moved into the role I am in now. Oh, well. They will have to deal with me for at least another year.

So far summer is treating me well. I have lost four pounds since summer started, which is great! I am not going to worry about how much more I need to lose because if I worry, I will not improve. I am just going to continue to work out and have fun. We finally found a place to live, we just have to wait to hear back about whether or not we are approved for the place. Leland started his internship and thins seem to be going good so far. One of the guys he was out with yesterday asked him if he has talked to the head guy about a possible job when he finishes with the internship and school. Everyone seems to be getting along with Leland and like the work he is doing. Hopefully, fingers crossed, prayers answered the way I would like for them to be answered. He received an e-mail from his advisor about a group in Portland, OR that has a position to be filled. He just sent that guy to the trash folder. Now Leland's advisor is telling him that there is no way he is going to finish his dissertation before the first week in August. That just lights the fire under his butt and gets him more motivated. He should be finished in July. If he spends all of his extra time in the lab and library writing, he will do it. I have faith in him and he will get it done when he says he will get it done. If not, he knows how mad I will be and he doesn't want to make me mad. Things will get done, I am sure of it. Dad goes in for eye surgery tomorrow. He is getting a lot of work done and hopefully all goes well. The doctor even told him if things go well he may be able to get my dad's vision to the point where dad will not need glasses anymore. I told my dad that would be really weird since my entire life he has worn glasses. I may not recognize him without glasses ;) That's about it for this week, sorry nothing too interesting. It's summer, not drama, what can I say?