If you had asked me that question 5 yrs ago I would not have said where I am today. I would have said I would have the house of my dreams, no car payment, at least one kid, maybe two, coaching a varsity soccer team, and having a social life. Where am I really in that five year span? I finally have a house! Leland and I bought a house in February and I am loving having a house! I don't care that I have higher bills because the happiness having a home brings me takes care of the feelings of resentment. I am still an assistant principal with the same school district, I have a huge car payment because of the accident two years ago that totaled my beloved Dawson. I don't have any kids, just two ridiculously crazy dogs, that I (sadly) treat like they are real human children. I have no social life and I don't remember what relaxation or a vacation is. I am drowning in work and trying to get back into shape with cross-fit (having to try to drop 40 lbs just to be a healthy weight again, ugh!). So far, my life is nowhere near what I wanted it to be.
One of the things I always wanted to be when I grew up was a mom. I watch as all my friends are having kids of their own and posting pictures and celebrating firsts and birthdays. It's really hard when a friend who NEVER wanted kids just had a baby, literally, just had a baby a few days ago. It's hard when you see kids you taught have a kid and they aren't married and still living at home having mom and dad take care of the kid so they can go out and party. It's hard to see girls having abortions when there are couples whose hearts ache and yearn to have a little one and know they can't. It's hard to want something and know you can never have it. It's hard to get older and know there is little time left if you want that. I want my parents to be grandparents and my mother in law to be a grandma. I want my grandparents to be great-grandparents and take a three generation picture. I want to know a love like no other (or so I'm told) from having a kid of my own. But the more I sit here and think about it, my heart grows cold and I realize I don't really care if I have kids. After the things I have seen these past few years on the schools I have been in, I don't really care. There is so much evil and bad out there and it's on;y getting worse. I can't stand to be around kids between the ages of 6 months to 9 years old. Working in an elementary school has reaffirmed to me that I am in no way eligible to be a mom. The snotty noses, temper tantrums, "tie my shoe", defiance, disrespect, entitlement and so forth makes me cringe when I think about kids. The thing I love about my job, I can try to be a positive influence and know that what I am trying to do is hopefully going to be for the good of society. The walls are up again and the feelings are shut down.
Where will I be in 5 years? Probably right where I am today doing the same thing and trying to just keep afloat. I will definitely have more white hair and getting closer to 40, but meh. The world is ridiculous, my wants are pushed down for others needs and wants. Feelings of inadequacy will always be there and the question of "what if?" will still linger. As much as I have the feelings, I know that the Lord can always ease my burden and keep these feelings away and I can have hope again. The Atonement is a beautiful thing. I am a grateful for my knowledge of the gospel and the blessings of the temple. I hear a storm rolling in so I better unplug. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Only time will tell.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Finally Made It Back. . .
to San Antonio! I have been here two weeks, but this is the first time in which I have actually had the space and time to write about it. The last two weeks have been absolutely fabulous as I have been setting up the apartment and relaxing a little bit. Needless to say, the dogs have been VERY happy that I am on vacation right now and that I have one more week of vacation to go before I start my new job. I will be doing the same AP position that I did in Houston, but I will be at a K-10 campus. The school is only four years old and they are adding a grade level each year until they are a full K-12 campus. I am a little worried that it is a K-10. I can handle 6-12, but the littles? It's the K-5 graders that worry (OK, more like scare) me. I do not do well with the littles. Hey are way to needy for me. Thankfully, I won't have to do too much with the kiddos of that age group. I will also hopefully not have the same schedule and all the responsibilities that I had these past couple of years. If I do, I will have to figure out how to work things out so I am not at work so many hours in the day. I will figure something out this year. I am just hoping there aren't near as many after school/ evening events that I have to attend. That is my hope anyway. We shall see what happens.
The ward here is super amazing and I am loving it! I have a couple of friends that I have known for several years that are in the ward and it makes me way more comfortable to be me in that ward. It also helps that I haven't been thrown into a calling, at this time, in which I do not attend Relief Society or Sunday School and only have access to a few people. I am excited to be back in San Antonio and be around people I know and love. It's been a while since I have felt this way and I am so happy that I am starting to feel like my old self again! Now, all I have to do is get back into an amazing workout routine and get my body back to my liking.
I am tying to decide if I do cross fit or Krav Maga. It is such a tough decision! I have weighed the pros and cons, but I still can't figure it out. I am leaning more towards cross fit because it's more of what I know will work for me if I can get in enough workouts every week. But Krav Maga is something different and incorporates self defense which is always a valuable tool. But I am such an indecisive person at this time in my life that I just can't figure it out. I am going to give myself until September 1 to make a decision. That will allow me to get into the groove at work and see what my schedule will really be like before I make a commitment. If I decide in cross fit I can find a place really close to where I work and sign up there is the price is right. Which would be fantastic! If I decide Krav then I will have to check scheduling to make sure I could make it in time or they have late enough classes. So much to think about! We'll see what happens and what decision I make.
It's July and that means it is Leland Appreciation Month. I have not been doing a very good job at showing my appreciation to him for being born and making my life so much better. The problem, I don't know what to do. What do you do for a guy that is really simple and doesn't need much to make him happy? How do I make him feel special? It's irritating as to how simple he is. I know he likes the Broncos, the Texans, the Spurs, concerts, amusement parks, anything lemon based, wrestling, cards, and of course, he loved me. But I don't know what to do that I haven't done already. I have given him everything he has needed in the past and he doesn't really need anything else. If does need something it's usually contact solution or something for his cards. What do you get the guy that doesn't say he needs anything and when you're on a really tight budget. Plus he is going to be at a thing for work on his birthday so it makes it a little difficult to plan anything. I use to always know what to get people as gifts for different events. I would walk through a store, see something that reminded me of a friend or family member that just suited them perfectly, and poof! I had a gift. Now I have no clue what to give people. I have lost my touch. I no longer have the gift. It's quite sad if you think about it. One day, one day I will have the gift again (fingers crossed).
Today Germany won the World Cup 1-0 against Argentina. I always knew Germany would win. So many thought it was Brazil or Argentina's year, but I knew differently. Germany understands one thing that South and Central American teams don't understand and that's one thing is TEAM. There are so many individual players that are so great and have all the fame they are relied upon to do everything or they take on so much of the pressure that it is up to them to do it all the teams fail. Until they all learn that is about team, heart and hard work, they will never win. Hard work will beat out talent any day. Trust me.
That's the scoop! I am in such a better place at this time in my life and becoming what I use to be. I am grateful for the opportunity to be back in San Antonio and doing what I love to do with the people I love to be with. It is quite amazing that the Lord has blessed me as much as he has!
The ward here is super amazing and I am loving it! I have a couple of friends that I have known for several years that are in the ward and it makes me way more comfortable to be me in that ward. It also helps that I haven't been thrown into a calling, at this time, in which I do not attend Relief Society or Sunday School and only have access to a few people. I am excited to be back in San Antonio and be around people I know and love. It's been a while since I have felt this way and I am so happy that I am starting to feel like my old self again! Now, all I have to do is get back into an amazing workout routine and get my body back to my liking.
I am tying to decide if I do cross fit or Krav Maga. It is such a tough decision! I have weighed the pros and cons, but I still can't figure it out. I am leaning more towards cross fit because it's more of what I know will work for me if I can get in enough workouts every week. But Krav Maga is something different and incorporates self defense which is always a valuable tool. But I am such an indecisive person at this time in my life that I just can't figure it out. I am going to give myself until September 1 to make a decision. That will allow me to get into the groove at work and see what my schedule will really be like before I make a commitment. If I decide in cross fit I can find a place really close to where I work and sign up there is the price is right. Which would be fantastic! If I decide Krav then I will have to check scheduling to make sure I could make it in time or they have late enough classes. So much to think about! We'll see what happens and what decision I make.
It's July and that means it is Leland Appreciation Month. I have not been doing a very good job at showing my appreciation to him for being born and making my life so much better. The problem, I don't know what to do. What do you do for a guy that is really simple and doesn't need much to make him happy? How do I make him feel special? It's irritating as to how simple he is. I know he likes the Broncos, the Texans, the Spurs, concerts, amusement parks, anything lemon based, wrestling, cards, and of course, he loved me. But I don't know what to do that I haven't done already. I have given him everything he has needed in the past and he doesn't really need anything else. If does need something it's usually contact solution or something for his cards. What do you get the guy that doesn't say he needs anything and when you're on a really tight budget. Plus he is going to be at a thing for work on his birthday so it makes it a little difficult to plan anything. I use to always know what to get people as gifts for different events. I would walk through a store, see something that reminded me of a friend or family member that just suited them perfectly, and poof! I had a gift. Now I have no clue what to give people. I have lost my touch. I no longer have the gift. It's quite sad if you think about it. One day, one day I will have the gift again (fingers crossed).
Today Germany won the World Cup 1-0 against Argentina. I always knew Germany would win. So many thought it was Brazil or Argentina's year, but I knew differently. Germany understands one thing that South and Central American teams don't understand and that's one thing is TEAM. There are so many individual players that are so great and have all the fame they are relied upon to do everything or they take on so much of the pressure that it is up to them to do it all the teams fail. Until they all learn that is about team, heart and hard work, they will never win. Hard work will beat out talent any day. Trust me.
That's the scoop! I am in such a better place at this time in my life and becoming what I use to be. I am grateful for the opportunity to be back in San Antonio and doing what I love to do with the people I love to be with. It is quite amazing that the Lord has blessed me as much as he has!
Sunday, June 1, 2014
It's Getting So Close
to moving day! I am excited and nervous all at the same time. Excited for the change and nervous for the future. The school year ended this past Friday and my job will be officially over in just a couple of short weeks. For the first time in 10 years I will be jobless. I'm a little scared as to what lies ahead for me. What dos the Lord have planned for me? I already told Leland that if I did not have a teaching job by July 1 I would start looking outside education. One of my co-workers actually gave me the idea of working for the YMCA which I am seriously thinking about doing. I am hoping to have something soon, but I keep getting the "we have all our candidates and you are not one of them" e-mails. Frustrating! But let's not dwell too much there.
While I am preparing for this move there is more fun to be had! Last night was Leland's last night in Houston and I wanted to give him a positive memory of Houston to leave on, so I planned a fun little date night. We went to Brisket House (mostly for their uh-mazing baked potato salad) and did a picnic on the side of San Felipe Road. Here's the details:
On the way to Brisket House, as we crossed the railroad tracks, the car in front of us stopped suddenly. I thought I saw something go into the road right before the lady stopped so I wasn't upset about the sudden stop. The lady proceeds to put her car in park and get out. She runs in front of her car and picks up this HUGE turtle! She runs and places back off the road and we continue on our way to the food stop. We get our food without any big events happening and start our way to the picnic spot. There is this mosaic couch that sits back off San Felipe Road in the Galleria area that I have been wanting to get a picture of since we moved to Houston. I know I would forget about it if I didn't take the opp now to get the pic. So Leland gave me the "you're crazy, but I'm not getting out of this adventure" look and we walked to the couch. I snapped the pic and then we began eating our dinner. No sooner had we started eating and Leland saw a dinosaur sized mosquito. These nasty little blood-suckers were gigantic! Thankfully, I didn't even get a nibble, but poor Leland had three bites on his head and four more on other areas of his body. At one point he had two mosquitoes on his head and I went to smack them, and smacked him a little too hard, oops :/ We went back to the car and finished dinner. We were at the light waiting for it to turn green and Leland starts cracking up laughing. I look behind us and see a guy trying to get back into his car, but he can't. I thought the person in the passenger seat was mad and had locked him out of the car, but he got out to check something out on his car and the door closed and locked behind him. He was finally able to get back in the car once his passenger realized what was happening and go when the light turned green. Then it was on to dessert at The Dessert Gallery and back home for some time with Leland before he had to leave.
What a fantastic memory! Probably the best memory of Houston to date! I may not miss this city, but I will miss the fun times we have had when we were able to have them. I am so excited to get back to San Antonio, though, and start more fun memories! Only 28 more days!
While I am preparing for this move there is more fun to be had! Last night was Leland's last night in Houston and I wanted to give him a positive memory of Houston to leave on, so I planned a fun little date night. We went to Brisket House (mostly for their uh-mazing baked potato salad) and did a picnic on the side of San Felipe Road. Here's the details:
On the way to Brisket House, as we crossed the railroad tracks, the car in front of us stopped suddenly. I thought I saw something go into the road right before the lady stopped so I wasn't upset about the sudden stop. The lady proceeds to put her car in park and get out. She runs in front of her car and picks up this HUGE turtle! She runs and places back off the road and we continue on our way to the food stop. We get our food without any big events happening and start our way to the picnic spot. There is this mosaic couch that sits back off San Felipe Road in the Galleria area that I have been wanting to get a picture of since we moved to Houston. I know I would forget about it if I didn't take the opp now to get the pic. So Leland gave me the "you're crazy, but I'm not getting out of this adventure" look and we walked to the couch. I snapped the pic and then we began eating our dinner. No sooner had we started eating and Leland saw a dinosaur sized mosquito. These nasty little blood-suckers were gigantic! Thankfully, I didn't even get a nibble, but poor Leland had three bites on his head and four more on other areas of his body. At one point he had two mosquitoes on his head and I went to smack them, and smacked him a little too hard, oops :/ We went back to the car and finished dinner. We were at the light waiting for it to turn green and Leland starts cracking up laughing. I look behind us and see a guy trying to get back into his car, but he can't. I thought the person in the passenger seat was mad and had locked him out of the car, but he got out to check something out on his car and the door closed and locked behind him. He was finally able to get back in the car once his passenger realized what was happening and go when the light turned green. Then it was on to dessert at The Dessert Gallery and back home for some time with Leland before he had to leave.
What a fantastic memory! Probably the best memory of Houston to date! I may not miss this city, but I will miss the fun times we have had when we were able to have them. I am so excited to get back to San Antonio, though, and start more fun memories! Only 28 more days!
Sunday, May 11, 2014
And So It Begins
The next adventure. We went this weekend to find a place in SA. The first place I looked at felt like home. I was so grateful to have done a lot of research on the internet before going to SA. The internet is wonderful thing! I was able to narrow down my list to a few places and after stopping at one place I thought would be nice but had a line out the door to see apartments, I went to the place I had pretty much ranked number one on my list of places to live. It was perfect! Bottom floor level 2 bed 2 bath with green space behind it and a little seclusion. I felt peace and comfort when I walked inside the apartment the manager showed me. Then when she said we can get AT&T for cable and internet (Leland's request) I was hooked! Every time I have found a place to live I have had a peaceful feeling and felt I was "home" when I waked through the door. I am a little worried about the space inside, but I think it's because the floor plan is not like what I am use to in an apartment. The PATIO! Oh, the patio is perfect! I am so happy to have a patio for Tyson, and now Sugar, again. It's been a sad two years living in a place that does not have a patio for him. More like heartbreaking than sad. Tyson will be so happy. I also won't have to worry about bothering the people below me since there won't be any. Great comfort!
Leland is finishing his residency on Tuesday, and starting his new job in a couple of weeks. It's been a long four years with him being in school and residency. I am so proud of him and the work he has done. I am so happy for the opportunity he has to be working a real job now ;). He has worked so hard to get to where he is now. He has had a lot of upsets and tribulation while going through all of this. As much as I do not like having hard times to go through, I am grateful to have been on this journey with him. I truly believe he would not have been able to make it through these times without me by his side. I often wonder how much of help I really have been to him though. I really don't think I have been a great help, but I know I have been able to encourage him and help him gain the confidence he needed at times. I also was there to help him fight his battles and and lend a listening ear. I was ready to pounce on anyone that got in his way. I have loved him through it all and been frustrated with him as well. Overall, I do not think I had a great impact on him, but I know things were a little easier with me by his side.
After the trial of our faith comes the blessings. These past couple of years have felt like a huge trial of my faith, especially the past couple of months. If we remain faithful and endure it well, it will be but for a small season and the Lord will bless you. I feel greatly blessed and I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who has given me these experiences and these great blessings! Now, hopefully, a family will come :)
Leland is finishing his residency on Tuesday, and starting his new job in a couple of weeks. It's been a long four years with him being in school and residency. I am so proud of him and the work he has done. I am so happy for the opportunity he has to be working a real job now ;). He has worked so hard to get to where he is now. He has had a lot of upsets and tribulation while going through all of this. As much as I do not like having hard times to go through, I am grateful to have been on this journey with him. I truly believe he would not have been able to make it through these times without me by his side. I often wonder how much of help I really have been to him though. I really don't think I have been a great help, but I know I have been able to encourage him and help him gain the confidence he needed at times. I also was there to help him fight his battles and and lend a listening ear. I was ready to pounce on anyone that got in his way. I have loved him through it all and been frustrated with him as well. Overall, I do not think I had a great impact on him, but I know things were a little easier with me by his side.
After the trial of our faith comes the blessings. These past couple of years have felt like a huge trial of my faith, especially the past couple of months. If we remain faithful and endure it well, it will be but for a small season and the Lord will bless you. I feel greatly blessed and I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who has given me these experiences and these great blessings! Now, hopefully, a family will come :)
Monday, April 28, 2014
Can't Sleep
And why can't I sleep at 1:00 in the freaking morning? Because Leland decided to check his e-mails at 11:15pm and saw great news in his inbox. This past Thursday Leland had a job interview in San Antonio. Afterwards, I asked him how things went and he was very positive and was told he could expect to hear back from the company sometime next week. Well, next week ended up being Sunday night. They made and offer! All Leland has to do is accept it. One big stressor out of the way and on to the next. This is going to be one of those posts about how greatly I have been blessed and the power of prayer and fasting. I know Heavenly Father is aware of my needs as well as my family's needs. He has given a great test and I am grateful for that test at this time. Am I always grateful for tests, no. But I am grateful for having the experiences. I can't remember if it was President Hinckley or President Monson who said this, but you have to "Find joy in the journey". This has been a long journey. There have been many nights in prayer, many days in fasting, and much doubting on my end of my Heavenly Father. I should know by now, that I should never doubt God, but I do and I have to be given a reminder every now and then that I shouldn't. I even gave a talk at church about a month ago about the promise that the Lord will never forsake us or leave us alone. I guess I should have listened to my own counsel. I am so grateful for this opportunity. Since before we even moved to Houston we had plans on moving back to San Antonio. I am looking forward to the move. I know it is going to happen very quickly, about a month from now. Over Spring Break I had the opportunity to attend the temple and while there I had this feeling that everything was going to work out and I didn't need to worry so much. That feeling, the communication with Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost, was a great comfort. It has been a journey and one that I don't necessarily want to make again for the next long while, but it's a good one. Now, for the next journey, me finding a new job. This is going to be grueling. If you know of anyone looking for a PE/Health teacher with 4 years teaching experience and 4 years of school administration experience, let me know. If not, no worries. Things will fall into place when the time is right. I hope I can go to bed soon now that I have said what I need to say. Hopefully, this is a good night all! If you are a regular on my blog, shhhhhh please don't say anything yet. He has not officially accepted the position, and there could be another position in another city with another offer, so nothing is set in stone.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Another Year Later
Has it been that long already? I finally have an electronic device that is mine and can make time to get on here. I bought a Chromebook for myself and I love it! My school received the Race to the Top grant (RTT-D) so every student and every core teacher was given a Chromebook. Thankfully my Chromebook is way better and way cheaper than the ones given to the students. I figured if the kids have a Chromebook and I am in charge of them, I should have one so I know what the kids are doing with them.. At least that is what I told myself to justify buying it. Anywho... the past year. Let's get started:
Road Trip to South Carolina: My parents decided to visit Grandma and Grandpa Gilmore this past summer. They also decided to drive the entire way. 31 hours from El Paso, TX to Pawley's Island, South Carolina. Thet made a pit stop in Houston to pick me up and away we went, twenty hours. COincidentally, my dad's car's blinker went on the fritz as soon as he entered Houston so we ended up taking my new car. First road trip and the Tuscon was great! I drove all but about six hours of the trip there and back because I didn't really trust anyone to drive it. Dad was the only other person allowed to drive on the trip. Mom always messes up the seat so I didn't allow her to drive. Louisiana has got to be the second worst state to drive in, while Alabama is the worse. We spent three hours the first day trying to get through Mobile, AL. There was not accident, it was just poor city planning. Louisiana had slow downs for no reason whatsoever and half the state is driving on highway over water with no shoulders and trying to compete with semi trucks on narrow lanes. Never again! Once we arrived in SC I was able to start my vacation. The beach was a great place to run and relax. Grandma and Grandpa are still the best ever and so much fun to be around. Grandpa even starting picking up his artwork again. I loved seeing his drawings of the Maine coast lines and lighthouses. He has so much talent its annoying. How did no one in my family get his creative/artistic genes. I just wish Leland had been able to join us ont eh trip. Unfortunately, he was in a pretty grueling part of his residency and was unable to join us. I tried to buy him a plane ticket but realized it wouldn't be worth it since he wouldn't be able to stay very long. I love going to South Carolina, in fact I wouldn't mind living there if we had to, as long as I was close to a beach. I love spending time with my family and being able to listen to my grandparents stories about my dad and his siblings. I just hope one day I will be able to do that with my own family.
New school year: The 2013-2014 school year came fast and strong and it's still going. We had hiring issues and the people the other AP's and I fought for turned out to be duds. I mean, terrible. They interviewed very well, but when it cam down to actually teaching students, they just didn't get it. The staff has been nothing but negative and downright disrespectful. I will be so glad once this school year is over and I don't have to deal with the craziness anymore. I can't wait to go back into teaching and be with the kids again. I thought being where I am would be a positive to administration, but it hasn't. Maybe I will give admin a try again when I can't hang with the kids anymore. There has been way too much to even begin telling of experiences. Only seven weeks left of the school year. I pray I can make it to the end.
New Doggie!: I seem to collect strays. I was driving to work one morning and everyone in front of me was hitting their breaks. It was 6:30 in the morning, what was going on? Then all of a sudden I see this skinny little thing dart in front of my car. Thankfully I was still stopped so no heart attack for me. I pulled over into the parking lot at the corner I turn down to get to work. I saw the little thing across the street and she looked like she was heading into an apartment complex. I thought that if she went into the complex I would continue on to work and have no worries because someone there would probably take her in. She then decides to start crossing the street back in my direction. Once she did that I knew I couldn't let her wander. There is a vets office down the street from my school so I waited there until they opened. "Sugar" stayed in the back of the car until I let her out and took her inside. I had them check to see if she had been microchipped. Unfortunately, she was not. They told me that they could not take the dog in unless I was willing to take financial responsibility for her. I said I would take care of the bills and pick her up on my way home from work. I called Leland, thankfully he was still somewhat asleep and didn't really know what was going on, and told him that we had a new dog. He said okay and went back to sleep. After work I picked her up, took her to Petsmart and brought her home. Tyson was a little concerned about this new dog that was coming onto his turf. He, being the sweetheart that he is, has been very patient and loving towards her. It has taken about six months, but they are a lot of fun together. We don't know what breed(s) she is, but she is a total goofball and has become quote the cuddler. She is VERY energetic and loves to play fetch with whatever she can get find to play. she is always on defcon 5 alert. It's great, but she doesn't relax very much and it's scary, especially when she decides jumping out of a moving car will be fun. I have loved Sugar from the start and Leland is growing to love her more each day. He still says Tyson is his favorite, but Sugar will work her way to the top with him and they will be on a level playing field. Welcome to the family Sugar Page!
Holidays!: This Thanksgiving Mom came to visit. I feel bad since I had to work most of the time she was here and she didn't really get to do much with us. Dad tried to warn her that Leland and I were going to be at work and unable to spend a whole lot of time with her. I don't think it was the Thanksgiving she was hoping for. We were able to spend Thanksgiving with my boss, his family and couple other co-workers. I enjoyed it and had a good time, but no sure how Mom liked it. She did learn the recipe for delicious Turkish rice though. That's a plus. Christmas was spent at my fam's place in the 915. It was a nice and relaxing. We were able to leave the dogs with my parents for a week while Leland and I went to the frozen tundra (Utah) for New Years. I was not a fan of the cold, snow, or inversion. I thought pollution in Houston and El Paso were bad, there were days in which you couldn't see the mountains as you were driving up the mountain side. Bad stuff man. Even though I did not like the cold and snow, I had a fantastic time meeting up with family and new friends, and partaking in a Moon/Page family tradition of homemade Chinese food and games until the new year was upon us. Leland also participated in a Martinelli's chugging contest. He did terrible, but that's okay he doesn't need to be the best Martinelli's chugger to keep my heart. Sappy, I know. But what can I say, I love the guy!
December 29, 2013: Four years as an eternal family! We weren't able to attend out usual football bowl game this anniversary, but we were able to spend time with family and see some gorgeous lights. The one thing I really wanted to do in Utah was see the lights at Temple Square (and get a pizza from Pie, mmmm Pie). The family hopped into Pearl (Mama Ellen's car) and drove up to Salt Lake to see the lights. It was more beautiful than what I had seen in pictures. I was very grateful to have that opportunity. It is an experience that I will never forget! I just wish it wasn't so cold and I had a better camera. I love my husband and I am so grateful that he came into my life when he did. The Lord has impeccable timing. Over the past 4 years I have seen how much love can change and grow deeper when you really cherish each other and you remember the covenants made with your husband and your Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for temples and the blessings that come from them when you are doing what you need to do and keep your covenants. I hope we have many more years in this earthly life with one another and that our love continues to grow throughout the rest of our lives.
Job Hunt: Since Leland is finishing his two year residency at MD Anderson, it's time to look for a job and a new adventure. We are back to where we were two years ago. Leland is still without a job after he finishes the residency in a month. It's concerning to me too.I like to know what is going to happen so I can better plan. I have to know now what the future holds for work. We were so positive that he would have a job by now that I have already told my principal that I am not coming back. If he doesn't get a job, we are p a creek without a paddle. It's frustrating to no end to not know what's going on and feeling like he's not ding anything but waiting for something instead of actively searching. You can't just wait for something to come along, you have to go out and work for it. FRUSTRATING!!!! Hopefully we hear something soon. I don't know how much more uncertainty I can take. I know this is a test of patience and faith, but there are a few important things that are on hold until Leland has a real job. I don't know how much longer I can take having these plans on hold.
There is probably a lot more that has happened but I can't remember anything else right now. I'm going to say goodnight and work on my Primary lesson for Sunday. Goodnight all!
Road Trip to South Carolina: My parents decided to visit Grandma and Grandpa Gilmore this past summer. They also decided to drive the entire way. 31 hours from El Paso, TX to Pawley's Island, South Carolina. Thet made a pit stop in Houston to pick me up and away we went, twenty hours. COincidentally, my dad's car's blinker went on the fritz as soon as he entered Houston so we ended up taking my new car. First road trip and the Tuscon was great! I drove all but about six hours of the trip there and back because I didn't really trust anyone to drive it. Dad was the only other person allowed to drive on the trip. Mom always messes up the seat so I didn't allow her to drive. Louisiana has got to be the second worst state to drive in, while Alabama is the worse. We spent three hours the first day trying to get through Mobile, AL. There was not accident, it was just poor city planning. Louisiana had slow downs for no reason whatsoever and half the state is driving on highway over water with no shoulders and trying to compete with semi trucks on narrow lanes. Never again! Once we arrived in SC I was able to start my vacation. The beach was a great place to run and relax. Grandma and Grandpa are still the best ever and so much fun to be around. Grandpa even starting picking up his artwork again. I loved seeing his drawings of the Maine coast lines and lighthouses. He has so much talent its annoying. How did no one in my family get his creative/artistic genes. I just wish Leland had been able to join us ont eh trip. Unfortunately, he was in a pretty grueling part of his residency and was unable to join us. I tried to buy him a plane ticket but realized it wouldn't be worth it since he wouldn't be able to stay very long. I love going to South Carolina, in fact I wouldn't mind living there if we had to, as long as I was close to a beach. I love spending time with my family and being able to listen to my grandparents stories about my dad and his siblings. I just hope one day I will be able to do that with my own family.
New school year: The 2013-2014 school year came fast and strong and it's still going. We had hiring issues and the people the other AP's and I fought for turned out to be duds. I mean, terrible. They interviewed very well, but when it cam down to actually teaching students, they just didn't get it. The staff has been nothing but negative and downright disrespectful. I will be so glad once this school year is over and I don't have to deal with the craziness anymore. I can't wait to go back into teaching and be with the kids again. I thought being where I am would be a positive to administration, but it hasn't. Maybe I will give admin a try again when I can't hang with the kids anymore. There has been way too much to even begin telling of experiences. Only seven weeks left of the school year. I pray I can make it to the end.
New Doggie!: I seem to collect strays. I was driving to work one morning and everyone in front of me was hitting their breaks. It was 6:30 in the morning, what was going on? Then all of a sudden I see this skinny little thing dart in front of my car. Thankfully I was still stopped so no heart attack for me. I pulled over into the parking lot at the corner I turn down to get to work. I saw the little thing across the street and she looked like she was heading into an apartment complex. I thought that if she went into the complex I would continue on to work and have no worries because someone there would probably take her in. She then decides to start crossing the street back in my direction. Once she did that I knew I couldn't let her wander. There is a vets office down the street from my school so I waited there until they opened. "Sugar" stayed in the back of the car until I let her out and took her inside. I had them check to see if she had been microchipped. Unfortunately, she was not. They told me that they could not take the dog in unless I was willing to take financial responsibility for her. I said I would take care of the bills and pick her up on my way home from work. I called Leland, thankfully he was still somewhat asleep and didn't really know what was going on, and told him that we had a new dog. He said okay and went back to sleep. After work I picked her up, took her to Petsmart and brought her home. Tyson was a little concerned about this new dog that was coming onto his turf. He, being the sweetheart that he is, has been very patient and loving towards her. It has taken about six months, but they are a lot of fun together. We don't know what breed(s) she is, but she is a total goofball and has become quote the cuddler. She is VERY energetic and loves to play fetch with whatever she can get find to play. she is always on defcon 5 alert. It's great, but she doesn't relax very much and it's scary, especially when she decides jumping out of a moving car will be fun. I have loved Sugar from the start and Leland is growing to love her more each day. He still says Tyson is his favorite, but Sugar will work her way to the top with him and they will be on a level playing field. Welcome to the family Sugar Page!
Holidays!: This Thanksgiving Mom came to visit. I feel bad since I had to work most of the time she was here and she didn't really get to do much with us. Dad tried to warn her that Leland and I were going to be at work and unable to spend a whole lot of time with her. I don't think it was the Thanksgiving she was hoping for. We were able to spend Thanksgiving with my boss, his family and couple other co-workers. I enjoyed it and had a good time, but no sure how Mom liked it. She did learn the recipe for delicious Turkish rice though. That's a plus. Christmas was spent at my fam's place in the 915. It was a nice and relaxing. We were able to leave the dogs with my parents for a week while Leland and I went to the frozen tundra (Utah) for New Years. I was not a fan of the cold, snow, or inversion. I thought pollution in Houston and El Paso were bad, there were days in which you couldn't see the mountains as you were driving up the mountain side. Bad stuff man. Even though I did not like the cold and snow, I had a fantastic time meeting up with family and new friends, and partaking in a Moon/Page family tradition of homemade Chinese food and games until the new year was upon us. Leland also participated in a Martinelli's chugging contest. He did terrible, but that's okay he doesn't need to be the best Martinelli's chugger to keep my heart. Sappy, I know. But what can I say, I love the guy!
December 29, 2013: Four years as an eternal family! We weren't able to attend out usual football bowl game this anniversary, but we were able to spend time with family and see some gorgeous lights. The one thing I really wanted to do in Utah was see the lights at Temple Square (and get a pizza from Pie, mmmm Pie). The family hopped into Pearl (Mama Ellen's car) and drove up to Salt Lake to see the lights. It was more beautiful than what I had seen in pictures. I was very grateful to have that opportunity. It is an experience that I will never forget! I just wish it wasn't so cold and I had a better camera. I love my husband and I am so grateful that he came into my life when he did. The Lord has impeccable timing. Over the past 4 years I have seen how much love can change and grow deeper when you really cherish each other and you remember the covenants made with your husband and your Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for temples and the blessings that come from them when you are doing what you need to do and keep your covenants. I hope we have many more years in this earthly life with one another and that our love continues to grow throughout the rest of our lives.
Job Hunt: Since Leland is finishing his two year residency at MD Anderson, it's time to look for a job and a new adventure. We are back to where we were two years ago. Leland is still without a job after he finishes the residency in a month. It's concerning to me too.I like to know what is going to happen so I can better plan. I have to know now what the future holds for work. We were so positive that he would have a job by now that I have already told my principal that I am not coming back. If he doesn't get a job, we are p a creek without a paddle. It's frustrating to no end to not know what's going on and feeling like he's not ding anything but waiting for something instead of actively searching. You can't just wait for something to come along, you have to go out and work for it. FRUSTRATING!!!! Hopefully we hear something soon. I don't know how much more uncertainty I can take. I know this is a test of patience and faith, but there are a few important things that are on hold until Leland has a real job. I don't know how much longer I can take having these plans on hold.
There is probably a lot more that has happened but I can't remember anything else right now. I'm going to say goodnight and work on my Primary lesson for Sunday. Goodnight all!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Almost a year
since I last blogged. I haven't had an opportunity to do so since the site is blocked on the network at work and I don't use the computer at home when I get home. A lot has happened since August last year. I got a new position at work, got in my first ever car accident blemishing my perfect driving record of 16 years, Leland had a rough time in his program and was told he would be kicked out if he didn't do well on his mock oral exam, Tyson has become extra territorial, we were threatened to have to move out if Tyson didn't start "behaving in a normal manner", I received my CHL, my high school soccer team is the TCSAAL State Runner-up, the first group of kids I ever taught graduated high school, and so much more! I will try to hit some of the more interesting points (maybe not interesting to you, but for my posterity it will be learning points).
Car Accident:
I had this feeling that moving to Houston would not be good for my driving record. After arriving here, within 2 weeks I was almost t-boned twice while turning left on a green arrow. In March I was driving to work and decided I was going to go to the Shell station across the highway from work instead of turning to go to work. There was a truck in front of me so I could fully see the light until the truck turned. Once the truck turned I saw the light and it turned yellow. Since I would have stopped in the intersection if I had tried to stop I kept going straight. I was looking at the light to see if it would turn red, I never saw it coming, BOOM! Airbag deployed, car disabled, slowly crept to the light pole and stopped. The other car ran the red light to turn left and I hit him. Thankfully, neither of us was seriously hurt. But my car, my poor baby Dawson, was totaled. I didn't think there was that much damage since I was going less than 30mph, but since the car was a hybrid, there are not used parts to rebuild it and everything would have cost more than what the car was worth. No more baby Dawson, no more amazing gas mileage. After the reports came in, my insurance company found no fault in me and I was not cited for anything on the scene either, so my insurance will not have a huge impact. The other guy though was found to not have sufficient coverage (aka no insurance) so I am in the clear. The saddest part, I was 9 months away from paying Dawson off. 9 months! I did get a cool scar from the steering wheel cover when the airbag deployed. The Honda "H" is imprinted on my arm. It's starting to fade, but if you look at it in the right lighting you can still see it. It also meant I got a new car after 3 weeks of having one car between the two of us. the day before I bought my new car, Leland's car literally blew up as I was driving it. It didn't blow up in the traditional fire and BOOM way, but the engine blew out. I was driving the car and thankfully Leland was with me and was able to talk me through what I needed to do. Scary when your car stops in the middle of the U-turn lane as it begins to turn and it's getting dark out. I am grateful we were both safe and all has turned out well.
I got my Concealed Handgun License! As an educator in an area of the city where crime is high and you never know what can happen, I am all in favor of teachers being armed on a school campus, IF that teacher has the proper training and licenses. I even went on a former student's podcast talking about that. Let the debates begin!
Leland's tough semester. Last August Leland had to take a mock oral exam after taking all his summer courses. if he fialed it he would take it again in December. Well, he failed and had to take it in December. He failed again and was told if he did not do better in May he was going to be kicked out of the program. All semester he was enrolled in two graduate school courses while still doing his residency work. Toughest semester ever! It paid off and he passed in May and will be in the prgram for one more year then on to a new job, and hopefully a new city. Maybe San Antonio, fingers crossed!
I got a new position at work in February. The principal at my campus was moved up to the central office in order to write the grant for the Race to the Top Grant. We got a new principal and he decided to promote me to the position of AP of Operations and Finance. I am in charge of HR, Money, Fundraising, CNA/CIP writing, School events, buses, and everything else under the sun that it take to operate a school. It has been a very eye opening experience and i have learned a lot. I am grateful for the opportunity to be in this position and learn what I have.
Tyson is finally a much better dog! He is finally out of his puppy stage and turning into a real dog. I love it! He is also starting to become territorial and barking at everything that comes around the apartment. he is also starting to cover other dog smells with his own. It can be annoying when he stops every three feet to pee. At least he is acting like a real dog now.
We are still teaching Primary. It's been almost a year since receiving that calling. I am loving the kiddos we have in our class. They are smart and always ask great questions. For the most part, they are engaged in the lessons and are learning more about the gospel.
Since Leland and I have been in Houston we have been through many trials. We have been greatly tested, but greatly blessed as well. The Lord will not give us anything was can't handle. He will push us to our limits and a little beyond so we can grow and show our devotion and faith in Him. As much as I hate the trial, I am able to learn more about myself and my relationship with my husband. I am so grateful for the things that have happened that have made our relationship stronger. I am grateful for the things that have built my faith and testimony. The Lord truly does know me and what I need. Only one more big trial that I am trying to deal with but don't know how I will at this point. Maybe one day I will have the courage to talk about it. Until that time, I will suffer in silence ;)
As much as I hate Houston I told Leland that we are going to try to make more positive memories of the city for the next year. So far we have gone to Dave Matthews concert, gone shopping and I actually found clothes I liked, finding happiness in the little things, and enjoying the limited time each day we have with each other. The next few things on the list, WICKED, NASA, Kemah, and more exploring the city. We will get through this crazy next year together and our faith and love will continue to grow.
Car Accident:
I had this feeling that moving to Houston would not be good for my driving record. After arriving here, within 2 weeks I was almost t-boned twice while turning left on a green arrow. In March I was driving to work and decided I was going to go to the Shell station across the highway from work instead of turning to go to work. There was a truck in front of me so I could fully see the light until the truck turned. Once the truck turned I saw the light and it turned yellow. Since I would have stopped in the intersection if I had tried to stop I kept going straight. I was looking at the light to see if it would turn red, I never saw it coming, BOOM! Airbag deployed, car disabled, slowly crept to the light pole and stopped. The other car ran the red light to turn left and I hit him. Thankfully, neither of us was seriously hurt. But my car, my poor baby Dawson, was totaled. I didn't think there was that much damage since I was going less than 30mph, but since the car was a hybrid, there are not used parts to rebuild it and everything would have cost more than what the car was worth. No more baby Dawson, no more amazing gas mileage. After the reports came in, my insurance company found no fault in me and I was not cited for anything on the scene either, so my insurance will not have a huge impact. The other guy though was found to not have sufficient coverage (aka no insurance) so I am in the clear. The saddest part, I was 9 months away from paying Dawson off. 9 months! I did get a cool scar from the steering wheel cover when the airbag deployed. The Honda "H" is imprinted on my arm. It's starting to fade, but if you look at it in the right lighting you can still see it. It also meant I got a new car after 3 weeks of having one car between the two of us. the day before I bought my new car, Leland's car literally blew up as I was driving it. It didn't blow up in the traditional fire and BOOM way, but the engine blew out. I was driving the car and thankfully Leland was with me and was able to talk me through what I needed to do. Scary when your car stops in the middle of the U-turn lane as it begins to turn and it's getting dark out. I am grateful we were both safe and all has turned out well.
I got my Concealed Handgun License! As an educator in an area of the city where crime is high and you never know what can happen, I am all in favor of teachers being armed on a school campus, IF that teacher has the proper training and licenses. I even went on a former student's podcast talking about that. Let the debates begin!
Leland's tough semester. Last August Leland had to take a mock oral exam after taking all his summer courses. if he fialed it he would take it again in December. Well, he failed and had to take it in December. He failed again and was told if he did not do better in May he was going to be kicked out of the program. All semester he was enrolled in two graduate school courses while still doing his residency work. Toughest semester ever! It paid off and he passed in May and will be in the prgram for one more year then on to a new job, and hopefully a new city. Maybe San Antonio, fingers crossed!
I got a new position at work in February. The principal at my campus was moved up to the central office in order to write the grant for the Race to the Top Grant. We got a new principal and he decided to promote me to the position of AP of Operations and Finance. I am in charge of HR, Money, Fundraising, CNA/CIP writing, School events, buses, and everything else under the sun that it take to operate a school. It has been a very eye opening experience and i have learned a lot. I am grateful for the opportunity to be in this position and learn what I have.
Tyson is finally a much better dog! He is finally out of his puppy stage and turning into a real dog. I love it! He is also starting to become territorial and barking at everything that comes around the apartment. he is also starting to cover other dog smells with his own. It can be annoying when he stops every three feet to pee. At least he is acting like a real dog now.
We are still teaching Primary. It's been almost a year since receiving that calling. I am loving the kiddos we have in our class. They are smart and always ask great questions. For the most part, they are engaged in the lessons and are learning more about the gospel.
Since Leland and I have been in Houston we have been through many trials. We have been greatly tested, but greatly blessed as well. The Lord will not give us anything was can't handle. He will push us to our limits and a little beyond so we can grow and show our devotion and faith in Him. As much as I hate the trial, I am able to learn more about myself and my relationship with my husband. I am so grateful for the things that have happened that have made our relationship stronger. I am grateful for the things that have built my faith and testimony. The Lord truly does know me and what I need. Only one more big trial that I am trying to deal with but don't know how I will at this point. Maybe one day I will have the courage to talk about it. Until that time, I will suffer in silence ;)
As much as I hate Houston I told Leland that we are going to try to make more positive memories of the city for the next year. So far we have gone to Dave Matthews concert, gone shopping and I actually found clothes I liked, finding happiness in the little things, and enjoying the limited time each day we have with each other. The next few things on the list, WICKED, NASA, Kemah, and more exploring the city. We will get through this crazy next year together and our faith and love will continue to grow.
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