This week has been really stressful and I almost completely broke down in class on Friday. I hate that the kids had finals Monday - Thursday and we still had to go to school on Firday. What is the point of going to school when finals have already been taken. I don't know how much more of this backward thinking I can handle. Will I be able to make it next semester? I am tired of everyday fighting the same stupid fight that I have been fighting this whole year. So far, my predictions of this school year have been correct. The kids are way more out of control than ever due to assistant principals that no one really cares for. Also, the assistant principals seem to be on the kid's and parent's sides rather than backing up the teachers. I have been backed up so far this year, but other teachers have not been backed up. The handbook has gone out the window. There is no consistency with anything at all. I am so frustrated to the point that I don't want to go to work anymore. Good thing it's Christmas break. I could not handle another week like this past week. I just hope everything is different next semester. There are so many other things that could be going on in that school to make it better for everyone involved with it, but they are not going to listen to an American girl. There is so much sexism that goes on that it's absolutely appalling. Every time I have suggested something it goes on deaf ears. Every time a Turkish male suggests the same thing after listening to me it's all good. I need a change and I need to get out of that school and move on to what I really want to be doing, coaching high school soccer and teaching. It's really hard to catch a break in that biz. I have been trying for a very long time and I can't seem to get in. It's hard. I am tired of settling for something less. I seem to always settle and its not fair to me. There are certain things I never settle for, but for some reason with the more important things in my life I tend to settle.
I guess one of my goals for 2009 can be to not settle for anything less than my best. It's going be a long road to really find out what my best is. I don't know if I hvae ever been at my best. Actually, I don't know if I have been at my best since I have moved to SA. I feel as though I was my best when I was in EP. I guess because I felt like I was needed where I was. I could leave here and there will always be someone to pick up where I left off. It's comforting knowing that I can leave and everything be taken care of, but does it make me do and be my best? Not really, knowing I can pawn something off on someone doesn't make me care to be my best. This coming year is about being my best. Best attitude, best work, best service I can give, best I can do.

Another Great Saturday

My car finally has a name. Thanks to Shelly for helping me pick a name in Austin last night. As we drove past Dawson street Shelly said "How about Dawson?" I thought that was a great name and it just kinda stuck. So my car's name is Dawson.

Yesterday I had alot of fun. I ran in two 5K's. The Reindeer Dash was fun. It is a lesser known 5K in SA. It starts at Sam's Burger Joint, goes by the Witte and down through part of Brackenridge Park then back. It was a good run. Too bad I am a horrible morning runner. My hips always cramo when I run in the mornings. So I did about a mile and a half with cramping hips, not so much fun. It was still a fun, relaxing run though. I got a really cute shirt so I'm not complaining. The second 5K was the Austin Trail of Lights at Zilker Park. I went with Shelly since everyone else flaked out on us. People didn't so much flake out but had other things come up. So Shelly and I had a great time running with a thousand or so other people around the park. It was lighted so beautifully. I am a little upset that my camera hoovers at night. I don't know why, but I couldn't take a good picture to save my life. So I have what I like to call "The Blurry Album". I took most of the pictures while I was running and thought it would make for a great memory of the fun times. Some of the pictures turned out to be pretty cool looking. The rest are really just a blur. Too bad more people did not go. It was a great time. Oh, and my hips did not cramp. It was a much better run. We also saw the funniest sight - A Santa Parade. There were so many different Santa's walking down Congress. There was the normal Santa's, the thin, the fat and even the Disco Santa. It was a great sight that you can only find in Austin. Keep Austin Weird! You had to be there. I don't have any good pictures of the Santas so I am posting the pictures that came out okay.

These are the lights on the tunnel as I ran through it.

Shelly and I before the race showing off our goody bags. We got the coolest blinking lights for night running. Now I can run at night in nicer weather and be more visible to those crazy Texas drivers.

Another lighted tunnel. The stars were beautiful.

The giant tree at Zilker Park. Go under the tree and look at the lights. I heard if you spin while under the lights it's really cool. If I did that I would be so sick for the next three days. No seriously, motion sickness is not a good thing with me.

The Christmas tree outside the Capitol Building witha view of Congerss street behind it. I really picked the wrong picture to place here, but I am too lazy to change it up.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Study Hall

Oh the joys of study hall. Remember when you were a kid and study hall was always so quiet and people did their work? Yeah, right! Study hall was the best time ever if you didn't get caught talking or writing notes or doing something else you weren't suppose to do. I actually took study hall seriously, I had to. Most nights of the week when high school soccer wasn't in season, I was travelling to Austin for practices or games. The only time I could study or do homework was during the mandatory study hall my high school had for all athletes. If I tried to study in the car or on the bus I would get motion sickness so bad it would sometimes last into the next morning (and it only gets worse the older I get). Now-a-days study hall is just another time to socialize with friends. Kids today aren't scared of getting kicked out of something for not following the rules. They know mommy and daddy will come to their rescue and get them back into whatever they were kicked out of. Sad, but true. Study hall is great place, for the kids. The kids go in sit back and play their little games and think I am not looking or that I don't know what is going on. Of course, I can't catch everything they are doing but I catch them most of the time. They tend to forget that I was their age once and did the same things they are trying to do. When I do catch the kiddos they try to get out of it by saying, "But you let me do it before." "Really, I did? When?" "Uhhhhhhhmmmmm, like, a few days ago." "I don't remember that. What did I tell you?" Ahhhh the silence and being caught in a lie. Beautiful! It's also really fun seeing the reaction when I pull out my cell phone and tell the kids to call their parents and tell them why they are being kicked out of study hall. "No no no no no no no! Don't call my mom, call my dad. Mom will kill me! You can't call my mom. I promise, no more problems, no more." That usually works for about a week then it's back to the same behaviors. At least it's a week of silence from those one or two kids. Study Hall isn't too bad. I just wish there were less kids that would use it as a vacation spot and more that would actually study. Who am I kidding? It's middle school kids, they will never use it as a place to study. The joys of study hall. Remember when?

In the Christmas Mood

I am finally in the Christmas mood. Last night's First Presidency Christmas Devotional really helped with that. I love the Christmas Devotional because it brings Christ back into CHRISTmas. The talks were wonderful and the MoTab was amazing as usual. I look forward to the devotional every year. I love the sights and sounds as the conference center is all decorated with lights and trees.
I was also more in the mood after going to La Cantera this afternoon. Since I had the day off today I decided to catch-up on some household things and do a little shopping. I went to the Apple Store to check some stuff for my brother and to buy an adapter for my shuffle so I could listen to it in the car. I then went to the Coach Store. I love that place. I can't afford anything there, but since I bought a bag at the factory outlet (which I love since the bags are more affordable) last Christmas I became one of their "preferred customers" and had a 25% off card. So I decided to buy a little something. I bought the cutest little wrist bag. It's not the normal leather bag but more of a satiny type of material and it is full of color. It's so cute. I also bought a chocolate brown wrist bag for a friend. I can't make it to her bridal shower this weekend and I told her I would buy her a really nice gift. I had planned on buying something from her registry, but since I know she loves Coach I decided to get her the little bag. The "coupon" made the purchase more digestible. I love those things. I also stopped in the Sony store to look at what my dad wants for Christmas. He wants a portable dvd player so when he is on the road with soccer he can actually relax a little and maybe not be so sick on the bus rides. I found one and I like it. It doesn't play blu-ray, but I don' think there are any that do. Once they come out with a portable blu-ray I know my dad will want that and then he can give me his regular dvd player. The gift that keeps on giving. Again, I love it!
All I have to do now is put up my decorations. I am a minimalist when it comes to the decorations. I have a few nativity scenes that my mom has given me throughout the years and I display them in different areas around my living room. I think my favorite though is one my dad gave me that is very simple. It is Mary holding the baby Jesus Christ. It looks as though she is singing to the child (from a distance of course). It is simple and beautiful, it's my favorite. It also reminds me that Christmas is not about the presents or Santa and his reindeer. It is about Christ and his birth and sacrifice. Christ gave me the best gift anyone can give another person. He gave me the opportunity to live with my Heavenly Father again. Because of Him I am able to make a mistake and then repent and be forgiven. I am able to have the Holy Ghost with me when I am doing the right things. I am able to choose what path I take to get back to my Father. Because of Christ I have the blessings I have today. I am grateful for Christ and what He did for all mankind. Let us all remember what this time of year is really about and not get caught up in the worldliness of it all. Live, laugh, love , serve, remember.

December 7

So I know it is now December 8 but when I thought about this it was December 7. I am going to write about it anyway. December 7 is known as "the day that will live in infamy forever". On this day in 1941 Pearl Harbor, Hawaii was hit by Japanese airmen. Killing many and sinking some of the most beautiful machinery I have ever seen. The United States of America officially entered World War II after this event. When I was in college I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii to play soccer and visit the Pearl Harbor Memorial. The day we went alot of the girls did not want to go They thought it was not the right thing to do in Hawaii. Like going to a bar or to the beach is okay when you still have a game to play, the whole reason you are there? So many of the girls were not happy about going. Did these girls not understand that if it had not been for that place that we would not be the country we are today and they would not have the opportunities that they have to study in the US (many of the girls were not from the US) and receive a great education and play soccer? Whatever, they can think what they want. While we were there, there were two men who had survived Pearl Harbor and WW II. One man was selling and signing the book he had written about the places and people he met during WW II. The other was one of the characters in the book who, due to age related things, had to have his daughter help him sign the books. All I could do was sit in admiration for their courage and willingness to serve. We then went into a room where they have a video that talks about that day and what to expect when going to the memorial. After the video we hopped on a boat and rode out to the memorial. I wish it had been sunny so I could have seen the ship underneath the memorial, but that's okay because I still got some cool pictures (which will not be posted because I did not have a digital camera at the time. If you want to see pix let me know and I will show them to you the old fashioned way). I honestly thought I would cry while on the memorial, especially after seeing the wall of the names of all those who died. But I didn't. It was a solemn feeling. A feeling of deep gratitude and respect. The oil that still leaks from the ship today (67 yrs later) is a reminder that something actually happened on December 7, 1941. I had the experience of my life. Hopefully I never forget it. I will always have a deep respect for those that serve this great country, especially in times of turmoil and strife. I am grateful for this country and for the freedoms (that have been in jeopardy before) that I have. I will never forget this day and the importance it holds for our country, MY home, the United States of America.

YAY, NEW CAR!

I love my new car! The little Honda Civic Hybric. It's a major step down from the Grand Prix's I have been driving the past eight years, but that's okay. I now have my own car payments. I love it, I finally feel like a real adult! It's sad that I actually like paying bills, but it makes me feel more like an independent person. I don't have to depend upon my family for help financially. It feels good to be an adult. So back to my car.

It is a 2009 Honda Civic Hybrid. I am not a big huge Green Peace environmentalist. I just want to spend less on gas and get more for my money. So far the car got 40 mpg on the highway. Of course, between EP and SA the road is nothing but hills and valleys at 80mph. Getting 40 mpg's is pretty darn good. In the city, I should be getting 40-45 mpg's. We'll see how all that goes this week for the first real test of the car in SA. The car basically runs off a gas engine that is only 90 horsepower. The electric battery steps in when going uphill or trying to gain speed after stopping. The coolest thing is that the car will actually shut down at a stop or when stopping so as to not idle and continue to waste precious petro. The car is just so much fun. I can't really put into words how much I love it! So pictures will have to work.

It's Going to be Okay

Have you ever felt that everything is going to be okay? I mean the all-of-sudden, slap-in-the-face, overwhelming feeling that all is right with the world? I was on my way home and had just left Ft. Stockton, TX when I had this clarity of mind and reassurance that what I was doing with my life was right. I had this feeling that the Lord has been mindful of me and my needs. He really does know each of his children and is aware of their needs. It's been a long time since I have felt like this, but it's these rare times that make me really feel and know how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I have no anxiety about the huge purchase I am about to make later today. Usually I would be freaking out about spending $10 on something let alone the amount of money I am about to spend, but not today. I am very relaxed and chilled. It's strange for me to feel this way. I am one of those people that is always on edge. I know what your thinking, "What? Not you, you seem so put together." I have had many years of training myself to not show inward emotions and anxieties on the outside. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, and never will. I am a tough nut to crack. I am always on edge. I worry about everything that is going on. If someone is having a party, outing, gathering or has planned any type of event I tend to take on the fears, worries and anxieties of that person. Maybe I'm a nut case or maybe I want everything to go great for the person in charge, or.............. let's just go back to the nut case theory. Anyway, I am confident in what I am doing and I know the Lord loves me and is aware of what I am needing and when I need it. It has taken me a very long time to understand that things don't happen in my time, but in the Lord's time. Sometimes I just wish His time was my time, then I would feel more comfortable all the time. Maybe this is the the Lord's way of teaching me, or maybe......nope, it's the Lord's way.

The Starbuck's Experience

Ahhh, Thanksgiving, the beginning of the giving season. I think there is no "giving season" because we are always giving so much in out daily lives. I have always eondered why there has to be a certain time of year when people give more than usual? Why can't giving the way is happens at this time of year happen all the time? I know we are busy and have family and friends, jobs and other extra activites going on. But if we can take the time out during one of the busiest times of the year and give a little more, can't we do that throughout the whole year? Ponder on that while you drink your hot chocolate.

Right now I am sitting at Starbucks in El Paso, waiting for a few stores to open so I can do my shopping for my dad's birthday gift. It's been fun watching the people come and go and observe their interactions. There was a table of older gentlemen sitting a couple of tables away from me. They were pretty funny fellas. One guy was the main speaker and the others were just mesmerized by his stories and anecdotes. He is the life of the party. Another gentleman left and another entered the cirlce almost immediately. Then he was gone and the rest of the group finished their drinks then left. There was also a couple of what looked to be medical or nursing students. One looked like she just finished a 24 hr shift and the other looked as thoug he was just starting the day. The lines have been long going in and out. I have been trying to get a chance to get up and get a snack and a hot chocolate (or maybe an IZZE drink) for the past half hour. That's what happens when you go to Starbuck's at 7:30 in the morning. Oh, here'smy chance, be right back......................................Okay, I'm back.RIght now there is a little family of three sitting in the opposite corner. We get kids started at an early age with whole Starbuck's craze. The little girl can't be more than 2 yrs old. The addiction begins. It fun to see all the different types of people here. Yuppies can congregate with bikers. High school kids with retirees. It's a hodge podge of people coming together to enjoy the world's best coffee (whatever, the hot chocolate is awful, but the pumpkin loaf is amazing!) The line is never-ending. Wait, cute guy in line, stop and stare for a moment.....and we're back. Starbuck's the place to be for the morning treat. It's not a daily occurance for me, but it's fun to sit back, relax and do a little people watching.

True Beauty

It is officially fall in San Antonio. Well, almost winter-like. I love cold, cloudy days at home. Today isn't really all that cold, but it looks cold outside. I love those days when it looks cold then when I go outside I feel something totally different. It's a great surprise. I spent the day making different kinds of brownies and wathcing a marathon of America's Next Top Model. I don't really care about anything but the trasnformations seen in the photos. It also is very honest and it shows what the girls really look like and how they are touched-up and made-up to look they way they do in magazines and on billboards. I don't like that everyone thinks they have to be a perfected person, or at least look that way. I guess you could say my motto in life is, "If you don't like me the way I am then you are not worth my time or energy". There are so many girls (and guys) that have the "Barbie Syndrome". The girls have it in that they want to look perfect, like a Barbie doll. Barbie always had the perfect make-up, "skin", body, hair, fashion, etc. The boys have it in that all they want in the girl is perfection. They want worldly beauty and what the world says women should look like. It's quite sad if you think about it. I believe if you don't like someone for who they really are then you are the one that needs help. I wish people could get past the make-up and fakeness. Yes, I wear make-up every now and then, but I do things without it. Believe it or not, I go out in public without make-up *gasp*! If someone doesn't like me the way I am then oh, well, I don't care. I am who I am, nothing is going to change that. I have been this way since the pre-exsistence get use to it sucka! It has taken me a long time to love who I am. It took me over twenty years to learn to love my red hair. For the longest time I wanted to be a blonde. I always thought blonde hair was so pretty and that it would help me blend in. I hated standing out anywhere I went because of my hair. Now, I don't want to change my hair color. The sun may change it, but that's natural. I am all about the natural hi-lites. A girl once told me that she wanted to dye my hair because she thought it didn't match my eyebrows. Whatever. If you don't like what you see, turn around. Stop trying to change everyone because you think that person would look better. I have a feeling that person is not truly happy with herself and doesn't know how to accept who she really is so she tries to change everyone else around her. Once you grasp who you really are and learn to love how you have been made and understand your genetics, you will be truly happy. Those who are always having to put on a show and are afraid of what they really look like are the ones who are most unhappy. I would love to see more young women show off their natural beauty. It would really be very refreshing. Rebel against what the world wants, Rebel! I have come to accept that I will never be a model. I will never grace the cover of a magazine. I will never wear the fashions from Italy, France or even New York. I will be beautiful in my own way. I will be happy with what I see in the mirror. I will be grateful for the other talents the Lord has given me. I will be the best I can be. I will be loved for who I am, not what the world wants me to be. I will be Katie G.

Saturdays are Great!

Today was alot of fun. Compared to last Saturday today was a breeze. Last week I took my Principal Certification exam. I hope I passed so I don't have to take it again. The stress is a killer and all I wanted to do was sleep afterwards. Moving on. Last night I was asked to tryout for the new women's semi-pro soccer team. If I can get into good enough shape and build up my reflexes and ups again I am going to do it. The tryouts are three months away so we will see what happens. Today I went running at the gym. I started with a mile and half and felt so amazing! I then did some sprint work for about twenty minutes and didn't die, so I feel as though things are getting better. Then I went home and took a nap. I wish everyday had a nap time. Things would seem so much less stressful if there was a mandatory nap time. Then I went to Cow Catchers Steakhouse for dinner.
Cow Catchers is so cool. They have three longhorns and two calves that are so adorable. I went with Melinda, Shelly and Kim. We all fed the moo-moos (as I called them when I was younger) and talked to "cookie" the biscuit maker. "Cookie" has a wagon set-up at the entrance with a little fire and a spot for dutch-oven cooking where the delicious biscuits are made. "Cookie"'s actual job is working in the Air Force. She just does this gig for fun. It's such a Texas thing when you can play with the cows and longhorns then go eat a nice juicy steak. I was a little surprised when I looked at the menu and saw so little choices. Why was I surprised? I don't know. I know I shouldn't have been surprised since it is a steakhouse. It is really expensive, but I think I have enough food to last me for another meal or two. The food is AMAZING! The steaks are huge and soooooo juicy. I am not a big steak, or even red-meat eater, but this stuff is so good it would make a vegetarian go back to meat. I have never had a steak, that I can remember, that was so good. There is also live music on Friday and Saturday nights. The great thing is that the music isn't so loud that you can't have a conversation with someone sitting across from you. It was a very enjoyable evening. I love the atmosphere and the food is rockin'! Next time, I'll go during the day when I can see everything. (Pictures coming soon)=0)

Thank You Veterans!

Today is Veteran's Day. Thank you to all that have serves and presently serve this great country. I have members of my family that have served in World War II, the Korean Conflict, and Vietnam. My Great Uncle Del (Luis) loves to tell me that he, "Received a MEdal of Honor for Doing absolutely nothing in the face of no danger." Well, Uncle Del, you are a true hero to me. Thank you for everything you have done to protect my freedoms. Thank you to those who are serving now. Thank you to the families who give up so much and take on more than what they should have to in order to keep me safe at night. Thank you!

Great Grandpa sitting in a jeep during WWII

Great Grandpa: Boy he was good looking, Great Grandma had amazing taste

Left to Right Front: Great Aunt Edna Coll(Nina), Great Grandme Aurea Riviello, Grandma Judith Acosta Gilmore Middle: Great Uncle Del (Luis) Coll Back Grandpa Edward Arthur Gilmore

My Military family and their supportive wives

New President and Life

The election is over and the 44th President of the United States is Barack Obama. History has been made. The first black (excuse me while I laugh a little) president ever in the USA, yippy. I am waiting to see what happens. I just hope those people who are always blaming someone else for their unhappiness will see that a blackman has made it to the White House and will maybe do something for themselves instead of waiting for someone else to do it for them. Enough of the depressing stuff.
Life is good. I feel good this week. The week has gone slow, but that's okay. I have loved every minute of it. The kiddos at work have not been as crazy and that has helped out so much. The traffic has been horrible, but nothing too strenuous. I had a wonderful dinner at a friend's place on Tuesday and it was delicious! Tonight I scored a goal at my soccer game then played a higher level of soccer and loved it! I miss high level soccer. I play better and smarter when I play with against competition that is at a higher level. The players I was playing with didn't hold the ball too long and they played off of everyone's strengths. It was so much fun, I loved it! I am so blessed to have a week like this one. They don't come along often so when they do I truly cherish them. Have I ever mentioned how much I love this life? Earthly life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, good and bad and it's all worth it. What more can I say? Life is good.

My Influences

November must be really special month. Not only is it Thanksgiving, but two of my biggest influences were born in November. The first is my great-grandma Aurea Riviello. This woman is absolutely amazing. She will be 101 on the twenty seventh of the month. She has raised three beautiful children, one of them being my very spunky, sassy grandma Judith Acosta Gilmore. Aurea was born in Puerto Rico on November 27, 1907. She has three children, Edna Coll, Judith Gilmore, and Al Acosta. GG Ma is an inspiring woman. She use to smoke all the time. One day a woman came to her home and gave her a filter to place on the end of her ciggy to see how much gunk was in one cig. She smoked one and afterwards looked at the filter. When she looked at the filter then tried to clean it she realized that all the gunk was going in her lungs and body and stopped smoking cold turkey. How many people do you know who would do that? She also was married to a man who served during WW II. I don't know what I would have done if my husband were in another country fighting. Communication back in those days was slow so it was a long time before you heard from your loved ones. She was able to make it through those times and still raise her children. That husband eventually passed away and she married another man. I don; know anything about him so no stories. Once that husband was out of the picture she lived with her oldest daughter, Edna, and her husband Luis Coll in Spain for many years. GG Ma was also a make-up counter manager and use to have to yell at her girls to get back to work all the time. One time while visiting her she thought I was one of her make-up counter girls and started yelling at me in Spanish to get back to work and stop being so lazy. Now Aurea lives in Tamp, FL in a retirement facility where she can receive round the clock care. She has just recently transitioned into the late stages of Alzheimer's Disease. I have had the opportunity to spend some time with her the past few years. I which I had been able to spend time with her when she could actually tell me stories about her life, but any time with her is wonderful. Every time I visit, Edna tells her that she has to speak in English to me because I don't understand Spanish. She looks at me, smiles her mischievous smile and speaks Spanish the entire time I am there. She is the biggest prankster I know too. She and another woman in the home would go behind the counter where some of the nurses kept their purses when no one was looking and take someones purse. She would then hide it behind a plant close by or under a table. Since people knew she liked to pull pranks they would ask her where she hid the purse. Since she is Alzheimered she would actually shrug her shoulders and say, "I don't know what you are talking about. I didn't take anything." before long another resident would find the purse and return it. She also gave me some great advice and showed her love for her family. I told her that when I have kids and if I have a daughter I want to name her Aurea. She then told me I could not name her Aurea unless I had my mother's name as part of the name. So we made a contract that I would name my daughter either Debra Aurea or Aurea Debra. I didn't think she remembered my mom's name, but she did and it gave me a whole new respect for her seeing that she had just met my mom. She also told me to remember who I am. The last day I was with her I was sitting with her by myself in the courtyard of the home and she began speaking to me in English for the first time in two visits and she told me to remember who I am and to continue to work to achieve my goals. She is a wise woman, and I love he dearly. I just pray that she will last one more Christmas with her family and that she knows how much we love her.

The second person is my dad, Scott Steven Gilmore. He was born in Great Falls, Montana on November 28, 1953. He is great example of everything I want to be. Great grandma calls him bologna, which he is full of, so she is correct when she calls him that. Even though she calls him bologna he is still a great person. Dad was raised in an Air Force family. My grandfather moved his family all over the world and I believe that is what has helped form my dad. My dad has so much love for those around him. he is comfortable with everyone and seems to make friends with all he meets. He is one of the biggest influences in many of his athletes lives. When I was in high school, his jv team would call him "Dad". Many of his athletes had dads in the Army and they were not around all the much so they found fatherly advice and a father figure in my dad. Today, he has many athletes that come back to him and thank him for the person they could go to when they could not go to their parents about something but still need advice. Like great-grandma he is a huge prankster. It would take way to long to go through his list of pranks. My dad is one of the most courageous people I know. He is a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the only member in his family. There was a lot of friction in the family when my dad joined the church, but that did not stop him. I am so grateful and happy that he was able to stay strong in the church. He lives his life in service. He has taught me a great deal about service by just doing the small and simple things he needs to do. He has always given me the support and encouragement I have needed and has knocked me back into place when I needed him to. He taught me how to be independent. That's why I am so independent today. He has shown me many things that I would have never learned anywhere else. He is truly an influence in my life. People even tell me I am just like my dad. The mannerisms, the drive and passion for things, and even the looks. The worst thing a girl can hear is that she looks like her dad. If you know my dad then you can know me a little better. Dad and I have a great bond that has only become stronger as I have found a new respect for him after visiting with old family friends. People love and deeply respect my dad. I just hope one day that I will be able to one day be more like my dad. I love my great-grandma Aurea and my dad. They will forever influence me.

November Begins

Only three more weeks until Thanksgiving break, yay! I love the holiday season. It gives me so much hope and I feel so much love. Today I was able to be a part of something that really has started my holiday season with a bang. I was able to run in the Inaugural Raul Jimenez Feast of the Heart 5K Run/Walk. All the proceeds go to help feed somewhere in the ballpark of 25,000 people in San Antonio on Thanksgiving Day. I felt great running it. I met up with some great friends who informed me of the run and had a wonderful time. I was talking to a few of my students and they asked me if I was going to go to a festival in Houston that a bunch of other teachers and students were going to this weekend. I told them I was going to run in this thing. As I was talking to them I was telling them that I was going to pay to run in it. "You are paying to run? You mean you don't get anything out of it? You're crazy! I would never do that." It is all about where the proceeds go. When I explained further that the money went to help give people a great Thanksgiving that they would not have otherwise, they were more understanding. It is great to be an example to those around me. Uh-oh, I just remembered it was G's bridal shower today. I feel so bad I missed it, especially since I RSVP'd that I would be there. Monday will be full of apologies and buying alot of food at the bake sale to make up for it.
I have also learned how to make homemade apple pie. So I made one today for "break the fast" tomorrow. I just hope it tastes okay. Wow, there is a little white cat in my apartment. It must have come in through my window and I am just now noticing. Sorry, ADD moment. The pie looks delicious but I won't know if it tastes delicious until tomorrow evening. The anticipation is building, just kidding. No anticipation necessary.
Whew, I am starting to feel really tired. I think I need a nap.

Tagged (Thanks Linda)

Thanks to Linda I have been tagged in her blog and now must write eight things about me then continue the process. Okay, here are the rules for this tag: 1: Each player starts with 8 random habits/facts about themselves. 2: People who are tagged need to write a post on their blog about their eight things and post these rules. 3: At the end of the post you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names. Here go my eight things:

1. I love reality TV. Even though it's not really reality, it's still fun to laugh at the childishness and idiocy of the people that go on these shows. How many times does a conversation really need to bleeped out? C'mon, be smart and use real words. The pettiness is hilarious. People may graduate high school, but they don't necessarily leave it behind.

2. Contrary to popular beleif, I am not perfect and do not come from the perfect family.

3. I am totally scared of relationships. I have seen too many of my friends get hurt and be the one to pick up the pieces that I don't want that. I have also seen my parent's relationship fail. They are not divorced but I sometimes wonder if they would be happier that way. Not part of this but some advice, if you ever want to be married, become my best friend. Everyone that I become close friends with gets married. It's a no fail plan.

4. I don't trust anyone and I haven't since high school. I use to be a very trusting person until it all blew up in my face. If I trust anyone it's because I have known them for years (and I mean yeeeeears) before there was trust. As a part of this I don't like to get close to anyone because when I do, they leave, find someone else they would rather be friends with, or something else happens and they completely forget about me.

5. I love the outdoors. I love walking around a garden, hiking at a park or just sitting on a bench listening to the wind and watching the creatures around me. I am so grateful for al lthe beauty around me. The Lord has blessed us with all of this so we could find peace, comfort and joy. The world would be an ugly place if everything was the same color.

6. I love to laugh and smile. A kid in my class the other day got nailed in the forehead with a tennis ball. I tried to be serious and get mad at the person who threw the ball, but I had to turn around and laugh, because it was so darn funny. The kid that was hit was also one kid I was secretly hoping would get hit. Sad, I know, but funny as all else! It helps that the kid was okay.

7. Blues Brothers, Animal House, Caddyshack, Back to School - the greatest comedies of all time with the best comedians of all time. I said earlier I love to laugh and smile and all these movies do just that.

8. I am a very private person. I don't like airing my feelings out in the public. Why bother other people with my problems when they have enough of their own to deal with? Plus, my problems aren't as big as others so what's the point in telling others? So then why do I have a blog? It's a great way of keeping a personal history. I am usually on the computer so why not have a journal on the computer. Plus I only know of two people that read this anyway, so it's not like it's a big deal and the whole world reads it.

There you go, eight things about me. There are more things about me, but I will save those for another day. Now I have to tag eight other people? I don't know that many people that blog so I will write a few names and hopefully they read this and start a blog of their own: Janelle, Jenny W, Eric, Becky, Laura, Adrienne, Stephanie and John.

Best Weekend Ever! (At least at this time in my life)

This weekend has been full on wonderful things. First off was a relaxing Friday evening with no stress. Who wouldn't want that? Then came Saturday morning. It was early, but who cares? Habitat for Humanity is a wonderful thing to be a part of. I had a blast learning how to hang siding. It took all day to get about 1/4 of one side of the house done, but it was a great learning experience. It was also frustrating. Measuring then having to measure again because the measurement was off, then the siding breaking during cutting process, ahhh man! It was a great day. I was going to leave at lunch so that way I could have more time to clean my place, do laundry and all the other normal work I do on Saturday, but I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave my group and the rest of the building crew. I am really glad I stayed the whole time.

Saturday night was watching Trinity get creamed by Wheaton, but it was fun to be with friends. I even saw one of my students at the game. Crazy! This is the Saturday I have been needing for a long time. My weekends are usually trying to accomplish those things that I never have a chance to do during the week because of my schedule. I threw all of that out the window and just relaxed. It was nice.

Today, I had a great day at Stake Conference. I love seeing all the people in the stake. I don't know everyone or really anyone outside my ward, but to see all the members of the stake just renewed my strength. Listening to converts tell their stories of conversion was great. Then tonight going to a nice dinner group and lovely conversation with others was wonderful. Could you ask for a better weekend? I mean, what else is there? Service, friends, uplifting, enlightenment, realxation and fun are what weekend should be all about. I am now rested and ready for the week ahead and looking forward to next weekend. Oh, I almost forgot, I ran four miles this weekend. A continuous four miles. I have only done that one other time in my life and it was after a soccer practice as punishment. This time it was for my own enjoyment and fun. I don't know the next time I will do that, but I had fun doing it.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to fulfill my civic responsibility as a sitizen of the United States of America. Yes, I am talking about what you are thinking about----jury duty. Weren't thinking that? What were you thinking? It was a very stressful day. I love being able to serve my country any way I can right now. I just wish it had been over summer when I had time and didn't have to worry about the poor teacher that had to watch 50 kids for an hour and a half. So I get there really early in the morning and wait in line to be let in the central jury room. Then I sit there and wait. and wait, and wait some more. I had a great time catching up on some reading that I had been wanting to do for a while, so it was a winner of a situation. It's almost 11am and I keep thinking just a few more minutes and they will send us to lunch and then no one else will be in court so they will dismiss us. A few minutes later the girl goes to the microphone and says that the next court needs a panel of 75 jurors. So we are getting higher in the numbers and my name has not been called. Then it happens, number 48. We are escorted to the courytoom where we are told the case we may be on a jury for a murder case. The sent chills up my spine and made me a bit nervous. Maybe more than a bit nervous, I was shaking a little. What would I say about being a juror on a murder trial if I was picked? What games and activities would I need to prepare for my classes? Thoughts just kept entering my head. It took four hours to choose a final 12 jurors. It was a long process and some of the people that were in that room were really scary. How many times and in how many ways can a person describe the same thing for people to understand? There are some people that if I were on trial I would never want on my jury. Those people sitting in the room are not my peers. If I were the defendent I would have been really worried about some of the people there. I wasn't picked, so that was a relief. I don't know what I would do for a murder trial. It's a really scary thought that somene else's future is in your hands. It's a scary thought to put your future in someone else's hands.
The crazy thing is that I could not keep from looking at the defendent and now, every time I hear about shooting a gun, murder, killing or anything like that I see his face, the face of an indicted murderer. I just keep thinking the man looked like someone who would walk down the street and I would say hi to him. Many people like to think that murderers are crazed people with a scary look in their eye and some wierd hair-do or something else crazy (like Phil Specter, remember him?). I know the defense attorneys coach their client and tell them how to dress and how to look to look as innocent as possible. I get that. It was just a strange thing to look at someone who looks like every other person on the street and know that he has been indicted for such a serious crime and is facing 5-life in prison. I don't know, I just can't get that face out of my head. I hope it goes away soon, but I don't know. It's a sad situation really. Sad for the families involved. Sad for those that have to go through the trial, the hurt and the heartache.
I am grateful that I am not on that jury, but even more grateful to have been able to serve my country the best way I can right now.

Got to Have Faith

Tonight I was helping a great woman clean the kitchen after a great dinner and she said something that really caught my attention. She said, "We will be cooks at Adam-Ondi-Ahman." That really started me thinking. Will I be ready and have enough faith to drop what I am doing and travel to Adam-Ondi-Ahman when it is my time to go? I no doubt would have alot of fun cooking and serving others, but could I leave my life behind and go and do as the Lord would have me do? Do I have the strength and faith of Nephi to do so? Can I go and do as the Lord would have me do? I hope I am able to go when called upon. There are so many questions I have that can only be answered at the time. Of course, I say now that I would be able to do all that jazz, but when it comes down to it I don't know what I would do.
Faith, do we ever really know how much of it we have? The faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, but I have never moved a mountain before. Maybe I have moved mountains of laundry or scarfed down mountains of food, but to really move a mountain, never. I know that the Lord will ptotect me when needed, and give those things I stand in need of, but does my faith go deeper than that? One of my Institute teachers, Elder Waldvogel, once said, "Faith is what we have before we have knowledge. Once we have experienced faith it becomes knowledge. For example, when paying tithing you have faith that if you pay that ten percent blessings will come. Once you have received and recognized those blessings that faith becomes knowledge." I love that because it helped me understand more about faith and knowledge and how testimonies grow.
I want to share my testimony tonight. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the one and only true church on the face of the earth today. I know that Jesus Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, hung on the cross, and rose three days later so that all mankind may be saved. I know Heavenly Father knows me and my needs personally. I know He will lead and guide me if I first put my faith in Him. I know Joseph Smith Jr. was a true prophet and restored the gospel of Jesus Christ to its full glory in this last despensation. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the true and living prohet on the face of the earth today. I know the scriptures are true . I know the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ and the words are true. I know that if I am endure to the end and do those things that I need to in order to continually progress that I will be blessed. I know families can be together forever. I know that I am a daughter of God. I know the Lord loves me and knows me personally. I love the gospel and the things that it has done for my life. I hope to be able to keep the things I know and continue to learn more. I am grateful for those missionaries that found my Grandpa and Grandma Smith as well as the missionaries that found my dad. I am grateful for their faith and courage to do those things that their families were not happy about but that they knew were right. I have always felt extremely blessed and am grateful for all the Lord has given me.

A Little Goes A Long Way

I was having a really stressful day today and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it did. Thanks to friends I had a great pick me up today. I am grateful for the promptings others receive. A little note or a quick compliment really goes a long way. The Spirit is a strong companion and I love how people are so in tune with it.

Day of Fun and Lessons Learned

Today I had the best time at the school parent picnic. I was a little stressed going into it because of all the games that were suppose to be played. Every year I have been in charge of getting games and activities together for the picnics. I always freak out because I don't want people to be bored or not play the games and things like that. Every year the teachers are suppose to help with the games, so this year I made a few suggestions and then let the teacher come up with a few gamesthat they would like to do. I really tried to not stress over things, but I did. It turned out to be really fun. We didn't do near the activities that we had planned, but that's okay. The kids and parent seemed to have fun. The teacher were able to meet more parents and I even was hit with a water bomb (darn Hannah, I will get her back. She won't know when or where, but I will get her back). The best part was the pinata. It was the toughest pinata I have ever seen. An hour later and the thing stil was not broken. The legs were gone but the body would not bust! I couldn't believe it. It we finally let it fall to the ground and one of the kids beat it to oblivion. It was great! I honestly spent a whole day of working hours at the park. I was there at 8am and didn't leave until almost 3pm.
While I was pulling the pinata a kid came up to me wanting to help me with the pulling. The kid's name is Garrett. He is a SPED kid. I don't know if he's someone's brother or just some random kid from another part of the park, but he is the most awesome kid I have met. After the picnic I was talking to a few of the other teachers and they were sharing their experiences with Garrett. The art teacher decided to do a little donation fundraiser so she would be able to get more supplies for her art club. She had a little jar at her face-painting booth for people to donate. Garrett said he wanted to help and wanted to take the jar around. The teacher then said the jar was okay where it was. Garrett then said, "No, I am going to get donations!" Next, he was talking to another kid and telling him to donate. The other kid said he didn't have any money to donate so Garrett took two dollars out of the jar, handed to the kid and said, "Now you have two dollars to donate. Put it in the jar." The jar had $32 at the end on an hour. Priceless. I love it! He was also helping out with the food. He was telling a parent that the beans were too soupy and in order to make it better you ahve to stir it all the time. Then said the beans were still too soupy and said they would be better served in cups then ran, grabbed some cups and starting serving. This kid is going to do great things for a company someday with all his problem solving skills. Garrett is an amazing kid. It goes to show you can't judge a book by it's cover.
I got home today and was so excited to watch General Conference but I couldn't keep my eyes open and I ended sleeping through the whole thing. I am grateful that Conference is a two day event so I am not totally corrupted......yet. It has turned into a great day of fun.

It's the Little Things that Count

Hahahahaha! I just had to start out with a laugh. The funniest thing alomst happened to my dad today. He almost got arrested! I was wondering when it was going to happen. Haha! My dad helps with the cross country meets since he has alot of soccer players who run cross country. The school had attained the permit to have the park for the hours needed to themselves for the meet. So this group of people comes wanting to play soccer. My dad goes over to find out what is going on and to see what he could do to help. The other groups was mad that they could not play soccer at the park. My dad told them he would be able to give up the soccer field and one of the softball fields during that time. Well, the group ws not happy so they called the cops. The cop shows up and never talks to my dad or Asst. AD for the school district. He talks to the angry folks then confronts my dad's group. The Asst. AD goes over and introduced herself to the cop as the Asst AD for the school district, sticks out her had for a handshake and the cop just stands there staring at her hand. My dad is looking in amazement at the insidiousness of the cop and the whole situation. The cop was very confrontational the entire time. The AD tells the cop they have the permit for the entire park and that they tried to work with the group to let them use one of the already reserved fields. The cop was still very rude. my dad tries to tell the cop what is going on and that they needed certain areas for the warm-ups and starts for the runs. The cop says they don't need to use the reserved areas. What are they suppose use, the surrounding desert? Whatever. My dad starts getting into it a little with cop. The cop says "I run long distance and I you don't need these areas." That is the totally wrong thing to say to a seasoned coach and someone who went to college for all that stuff and is the best in his field whereever he goes. Dad pops off with, "I don't teach your gun control classes, so you don't tell me how to run my cross country team." Just like Dad to say something like that in the heat of the moment. Thankfully, he wasn't arrested. Since the school district had the permits the cop couldn't really do anything. That makes for a great "almst got arrested story."
This week has been a good week. I really feel like things at work are falling into place. Some of the kids that have been giving me a hard time have decided to leave the school and new kids are coming in. Hopefully these new kids are better. It took six weeks for things to start calming down. I had some really great experiences this week with my students that concreted, in my mind, that I am doing with my life is what I am suppose to do. I was reading the journals I have my kids write in for a little bit during each class. One of the journals was on who has influenced you in your life. As I read one of my students mentioned that I was an influence in her life. She was a kid who never liked sports until she came into my class last year in sixth grade. Then later that day I had one of my high school students tell me that I was the greatest PE teacher he has ever had. He also said I was the coolest after our discussion about Pink Floyd and Aerosmith and some other older groups. Another student who I never really seemed to ge tthrough to has started talking to me more about what is going on with him. He is not like the other kids. He actually listens and tried to learn stuff and follws directions to a "T", so other kids have a hard time woth him and like to amke fun of him and treat him bad. I have become more aware of how he is doing throughout the day and when he comes into Study Hall he sits next to me. That is the time for me to talk to him and make sure he is doing okay. I sometimes think he could be the kid to just go crazy on ya in the middle of the hall so I make sure to treat him with great care. We were talking about something the other day and he thanked me for being a listening ear and trying to help him with stuff. After three years I feel like I am starting to find my niche in the teaching world. I just hope I am able to be an influence for good in other kid's lives. I love what I do and the opportunities it gives me to hopefully change someone else's perspective and even life.

Today was such a wierd day to not have to go to work. I would have totally loved having Monday instead of Tuesday off, but it was all good. You know, I could get use to this whole mid-week day off. It's pretty fun! I took today and went to Austin. I love Austin. A lot has changed since high school but it is still beautiful. There are more houses in the hills. Zilker Park looked like Woodstock had just been there and some of the old restaurants and places I use to chill at were no longer there. It was great being able to drive on 360 (Capitol of Texas Highway) and not be stuck in traffic. When I was in high school I was in Austin 4-6 days/week for soccer practice and games. I was able to get to know the rush hour and weekend traffic. I was there today during the middle of the day so it was nice to be able to enjoy and look around as I was driving. I went to Austin to see if any of the Honda dealers had the Civic Hybrid in stock so I could test drive one, but unfortunately, I could not find one. The one I found was closed down. It turned out to be a great day. I visitied the Texas Capitol building for the first time ever. I have been living in Texas for something like 14yrs and I have never been to the capitol building. Can you believe that? 14 yrs and not one visit to the capitol. Wow! I finally took the time to visit and I loved it! I had a blast walking around the grounds and watching the squirrels. Although there was one squirrel I was trying to take a picture of that was quite scary, I never knew when he was going to dive bomb me from the tree. I had taken a picture of him and he started climbing the tree that was in front of me. While in the tree his gaze never left me so I thought it would make for a great picture. My camera froze up at that time and I am grateful it did. I think if it hadn't I would have been dive bombed. It was still a great walk and fun time.
I loved today! I hope to be able to do this again sometime soon. Mid-week days off should be the norm from now on.

Just Politics as Usual

So last night was the first real presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain. I tried to watch it, but I can't get through the mudslinging. So then I tried to watch the post debate and all I heard was more persnal attacks and mudslinging. I just wish there were politicians that would really stick to politics and leave the personal attacks on the low, the way downlow. I can't honestly vote for people who act like they are still in high school and the other person will do anything to win even if that means completely berating someone else. It's awful. I was listening to part of a post debate interview with Biden and he mentioned something about Palin having the possiblity of becoming the president as "one heart beat away". He meant it in a negative light that McCain is so old that he could die at any moment. If you think about, so could Obama, duh! Everyone is only a heartbeat away from dying. It is all in how you say things. I was watching some tv show the other week and there was a little vinette about everything being about the voice you use when talking about something and they were doing something about cats. The first voice was a sweet upbeat voice that made everything sound nice. The next voice was like it came from the depths of evil and eventhough the same pictures and words were used you felt as though there was something wrind with what was being said. It was almost as if cats were evil and there is no sweetness. It's all in how you perceive and use voice inflection and tone. Anything can be said to sound negative or positive.
Who am I going to vote for? Honestly, I don't like any candidate. There is no clear winner for me. Either way I think things are going to get worse before they goet better. We know they are. We are living in the fullness of times, these are the last days. What's going to happen next? I don' know, but I have a feeling many people are going to regret choosing whom they chose. I really don't know. The way I see it though, if I don't vote then I have no room to complain. Not one candidate believes in the things I believe in. Not one really knows what it's like to be in my shoes or want the things I want for the country. Either way, the rich will get richer and the poor will become poorer. That's the way it has been since the beginning. I really want some normal Joe Shmoe to run for office. I would rather vote for Joe Shmoe than for someone who really doesn't know or doesn't remember what it is like to have to struggle with paying bills and getting by from month to month. There needs to be more people like that in politics. I think people may start like that then they get more and more money and they forget. Do you really remember what is was like when you were first married and had no idea how you were going to pay for dinner or gas in the car or diapers for your first baby? If politicians could truly remember what it was like when they were considered lower class or middle class instead of upper class(elitist) then I think there would be more satisfaction with politics. I am tired of talking about politics. There are so many other things dealing with politics that I could talk about, but I'm not going to. I am not that into politics anymore. I have become disenchanted with how people only look to make another person look bad that I don't care about it anymore. If there was someone who really wanted the same things I did and really understood then I would be more interested. But for now, I will forego the rest. Will I vote? Maybe, maybe not. Only that second Tuesday in Novemeber will tell.

Weather, Sports, Hanging Out

So this whole Hurricane Ike thing was a total bust for the SA. I was really loking forward to a couple of days of wind, rain, and a natural car wash. But, alas, all the reports for SA were wrong. Right now it's a little cloudy a little breezy, but other than that, nothing. I am a little disappointed because I didn't make any plans for tonight and now I have nothing to do. Oh, well I can manage. Ike has battered Galveston Island and Houston. Galveston is under water, almost completely and windows have been blown out of buildings in downtown Houston. Many people refused to leave the area even though they were told that staying there would be certain death. If I were told that staying someplace would mean certain death then I would like to think I would leave. The Texas Coast has been battered with hurricanes this year while the SA can't seem to get a drop of rain in this severe drought. What do we need to do for a little rain?

I started playing soccer again. It was so much fun. I can't believe I have gone this long without playing soccer. I have missed it so much. What was I thinking not playing for so long? I love the sport. I love the game. I love the intelligence it takes to play the game. I am grateful for the opportunity to play again. It may be small-sided but it's fun.

This week I was again reminded of why I don't like hanging out places and why I don't quite fit in with my peers. Wednesday nights Mama Margie's does karaoke. I have not been but decided to go this past week. I got there and no one even noticed I was there. No one talked to me except a few peple who said hi. So more reason I don't like to hang out. When I hang out I really just disappear. So, that's it, no more hanging out. I'm just not the hanging out kind of person. Oh, well. I will find something that's more me, like walking around the shopping centers dreaming of one day being able to afford the things I really want. Chillin in the casa for a truly realxing experience. I will find something to fill my time besides cleangin home and working. It may take a little while, but I will find something. Trust me, I will find something.

The Don, Haskins That Is

Today a great basketball coach has died. Don Haskins, coach of the Texas Western national cahmpoinship team, has died, Coach Haskins changed the face of basketball. He played only his seven black players against an all-white Kentucky team in the 1966 NCAA national championship game. Coach Haskins took a risk. He received death threats and hate mail. He played who he thought were the best players on the court at the time. Coach Haskins will be greatly missed by the UTEP and El Paso community. His seat next to the tunnel in the cebter in his namesake will be empty this season. Players and coaches alike would look to him for approval. He made a great contribution to the game of basketball and made it possible for those who thought they would never play college ball, play college ball. Coach Haskins, thank you for all you have done. You may have been a heavy drinker, but you knew what you were doing and what needed to be done. Thank you for your role in making basketball what it is today.
Last night the UTEP Miner football team was trashed by UT. It was only 42-13, but I think UT must have started playing their second or third string squads. Everyone know it was going to happen. It was all about the pride and spirit of the Miner fans. Watching the game made me remember the good times I had back in the day going to football games to watch my friends kick some trash. So maybe no one ever kicked any trash, but it was fun to watch my friends play and party on the sidelines with my other set of friends. College football is about the spirit and the rivalry. Last night there was alot of both.

Signs of Fall Are All Around

This past week has been much better. The first week of school is always the hardest and all other weeks can only get better from there. Week two down thirty four more left. This year I feel more relaxed and confident than in year's past. After talking to my grandma last night I have never been more sure that what I am doing in my life is the right thing to do.
I don't want to talk about work or anything serious like that today. College football. Tonight, my alma mater plays against UT. The Longhorns. I know my school will lose big time but it won't keep me from watching the game. I like to watch my alma mater fail sometimes. The administration there doesn't really care about the education they are giving the students so to see the school fail once in a while is quite refreshing. I still have ties to the school through friends and being a former athlete. It will be fun to watch my school on national tv.
My favorite team of all time has to OU. Today I watched as they started to blow out Cincinnati (I know I spelled it incorrectly, but I am not perfect) then ABC cut the game to go to the Ole Miss-Wake Forest game. That game was a nail bitter. Wake Forest, the #20 ranked team in the nation, was down by two points until they made a field goal with 3 seconds left. I guess it's okay to cut a blow out game I was watching for a closer game, but did it have to be the game the Sooners were playing? I would have liked to see the rest of the OU game, but they never went back to it. It probably wasn't worth it to go back to the game. College football season is in full swing and I love it! College football show true love of the sport. Sure the players are being given scholarships, but they are also students that would not be where they are unless they have a goal to graduate college or make a career out of playing a game they have grown up loving. The players don't play for the name on the back of the jersey; rather, they play for the name on the front. I love it. It is pure sport.
I have also found a show that I love. House. House is a great show. I love the character House and how he drives everyone crazy. He is honest about everything. He doesn't care about what others think of him. He may be distant and brash, but I love it. The medical mysteries are fun too. House is a great show. If only I can remember when it is on then all will be good.
Fall is right around the corner and I am so excited for it!

Taking Care of Business

So it's time for work. Real work. No more summer vacation. This past week has been one of the toughest weeks I have had the past two years, and I know it will not get any easier. I was given a little "promotion" at work. It's been a nightmare these past few days having to deal with it. I have decided that parents need to take classes before enrolling their kids in middle school, especially rich parents. Rich parents think they are entitled to something more or better because they have more money than you. The classes should be focused around reality. Topic 1: Your kid is no more special than the kid next door.
Topic 2: Get off your high horse.
Topic 3: Be grateful for what you have.
Topic 4: Teachers are not stupid, in fact they are genius's for having to keep your kids happy eight hours a day when you can't keep them happy for eight minutes a year.
Topic 5: Your kids don't tell you the truth all the time so stop taking their sides.
Topic 6: Have some guts to stand up to your kid when they cross the line
Topic 7: Teach your kids what respect is all about.
Topic 8: Understand not everyone is perfect and deal with it.
Topic 9: Be a good example to your kid.
Topic 10: Remember, your kids decide will take care of you one day, how they do it depends on how you raised them.
It's a 10 part series. A little long but those are things I have noticed while working in schools. It's actually sad the attitudes that parents pass along to their kids. Hopefully, the next generation of kids learn some discipline and respect for others.
Work has been difficult this week and I am learning that it's only going to get more difficult.
On the up side I have decided to start playing soccer again. I bought my new cleats today. I was really sad though. I love wearing ADIDAS Copa Mundials. I cannot afford them anymore. All throughout college I got brand new cleats for free. That was something that I always looked forward to getting every year. Once I had to start paying for cleats I stopped playing soccer. So I had to buy a cheapo-depot pair of cleats that were only 50 bucks. I have a feeling they will be done with in a matter of a couple of games. At least I have decided to do something about this feeling of wanting to play again. Five years of not playing has really taken its toll on me. I have missed the sport so much. I am indeed grateful for this opportunity to play again. I just hope I am not an embarrassment to the sport. We'll see and it will be a great stress reliever. I am happy my days are full of activity and fun. Now maybe my bills will go down a little and I can afford to buy some food. Just kidding, I have food. The update is finished and so I am I (for now).

Night Sky

Last night, well, this mornining, I had the great opportunity to watch the Perseid Meteor Shower. It was so much fun and such a relaxing experience. I love laying in the grass (on a blanket of course) and just watching the night sky. There weren't tons of meteors shooting across the sky, but there doesn't have to be tons to love what Heavenly Father has given us. Everyone I was with thought I was asleep because I was so quiet. I just wanted to enjoy the beauty of it all. There was alot of commotion and talking, but when everyone was in the "awkward silence" there seemed to be a spirit of contentment. To me it was more of a reassurance that there is more out there than just this world and this life. The meteors that shot across the starry night sky came at just the right moment everytime. The beauty of seeing the "shooting star" was all I needed. I didn't care about who was there or what they were doing. I was just happy to be in a great place to watch the shower.

Leadership, Love, Unity

I was sitting watching the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics in Bejing China and heard the most heartwarming story I have ever heard. It is also a great example of love and leadership. In May 2008 an earthquake rocked the Sechuan (not the real spelling, but I don't know how to spell it) province. A little boy, nine years old, has become a national hero. After the quake hit he was able to free himself from the mound of debris that was his classroom. After freeing himself he went back into the rubble of his school classroom and found two more of his classmates that were still alive and was able to free them as well. Twenty of his thirty classmates died in the quake. When asked why he did what he did the little boy replied that it was his duty, he is a class leader, a hall monitor. He had to go and make sure everyone was okay. Tonight the little boy walked side by side with Yao Ming as the Chinese Olympic Team walked into the "Bird's Nest" (the Olympic Stadium). What a great site to behold and story to hear. That little boy will always remember the night he was a national hero, the night he was held by China's greatest athlete, the night he was a part of world and Chinese history.
The Olympics is the the only time that every nation in the world puts aside their differences and are united in a spirit of sportsmanship and competition. The world comes together for two and half weeks. These weeks are full of upsets and personal triumphs. Competition and brotherhood rule the day. What more could you want? By the way, good luck New Zealand Women's Basketball. NW, you are my idol! You rock! Of course, GO USA GO!

Who am I?

Have you ever felt that no matter what you do people will never really get to know you, the real you? I ahve been living in SA for two years now and no one really knows who I am. Very few people have even tried to get to know me. I am a nerd, dork, geek all those things. I know I am not a big conversationalist either. I usually like to get to the point. I don' have interesting stories, I am quite boring. That's one part of me. The other part of me is this wild and crazy person that dances every song at the dance no matter what. That is the life of the party. I honestly feel like I am back in high school. I don't think I ever showed people who I really could be when I was in high school and I am back into that now. There is the popular group that looks at you like you're nothing and treats you that way if you don't dress a certain way, aren't a certain size, or look a certain way. Then there is the outcast group. I sometimes feel like I am part of that group. The outcasts are actually the majority, but you would never know it. Personalities really differ between these groups. The "pops" are very fake. They say hi but don't really care about anything but whomever is in their little groups. The outcasts actually care about everyone they are involved with and try to reach out to everyone else but are crushed or brushed aside. When I first moved here I was at an activity and introduced myself to a few people one person just continued walking. Another person said hi but didn't offer any help, just walked to the group that he/she was running to in the first place and the last one is a kicker. I introduced myself and the person told me that since he/she was leaving in a week for school that he/she didn't care to meet me. I don't know about you but all I can say is WOW. How rude, inconsiderate and selfish you have to be to say and do the things to another human being that those people did to me. Sorry I am not like you but WOW! Ever since that first night I have not felt like I can be who I truly know I can be. I have stopped commenting in classes, I now hate dances and dancing in public, I have a hard time reaching beyond my limits, etc. I use to not be like that. I was normally the first person to introduce myself to and get to know a new person. I was louder and more fun. I was a person. I felt like I was accepted by everyone. I never felt shy about anything. Now, I'm not like that. I have a hard time being who I want to be because of the criticism I know I will face and the fakeness of everyone around me.

I this is really a downer piece tonight. I am now a bitter old woman. The thing I never thought I would be. Gotta get out of this bitterness. People will be what they are. If they have lived a certain way for most of their life then that is their comfort zone and they will stay in that lifestyle. I just gotta see it all for what it is. Once I can do that then I will be much happier. Sometimes it just gets to me and I can't help but explode every now and then, At least I don't explode on people. It's way better to explode on paper and not use names or descriptions than it is to go up to people in the heat of the moment and tell them off. Things happen and you just gotta vent. I feel much better. I don't know if I will ever be the person I use to be, but only the future holds the answer. We shall see, we shall see.

A Little Courtesy Goes a Long Way

So if you can't make it to something and you are suppose to bring a really important part of the event do you wait until the last minute to let the host know about it? Of course not! It is really frustrating when people are assigned something and you try to contact everyone to make sure everything is squared away and then at the last possible minute everyone drops out. That's it, no more hosting things for me. I am tired of taking alot of my time out and not doing things that I would love to do then have nothing come of it. Thanksgiving 2007 I prepared my first Thanksgiving meal from appetizers to dessert. I invited 25 people to attend of which about six said they could come. Which is what I realistically expected. When it came down to it, two days of cooking, no one showed and not one person had the decency to call or email and let me know that they were not coming. It's just common courtesy. I guess parents are not teaching their kids the courtesy anymore. It's all about me and what I want. If I have an assignment, no matter how badly I want to not do it, I always follow through with it. What has happened ot society today. Oh, I know, parents are neglecting their duties to teach their children to serve and instead are teaching their children that the world revolves around them and no matter what you do not let anyone else tell you otherwise. Parents are also getting their kids out of taking responsibility and consequences of their actions. Society has said that there are no longer winners and losers but everyone is a winner. Whoever said that was the way to go was always on a losing team. When I played soccer I was never on a championship team. I loved the challenge os being on a losing team because it helped me improve and helped me overcome challenges and learn how to work. Ahhhh, work. That seems to be missing from the world today. Kids are given everything without having to actually do anything for it. It makes me sick because in ten years those are the kids that are going to go to college and think they can skate by. Those same kids will be going into the workforce and quitting because they are actually expected to do work and will have someone breathing down their necks and will also lose things and not know how to handle it all. They will then quit and do look for another job and go through the same cycle. It's really sad when you think about it. That's society today.

For the Beauty of the Earth

I just returned home after going to Colorado Springs for a week. That place is amazing! I haven't been there since I was about 11 or 12 and it is more beautiful than I remember. I went with my dad to watch the Pike's Peak Invitational soccer tourmament at the Air Force Academy. What a great campus. There are only about 4,000 students and it is the biggest campus I have seen for a school that size. The Cadet Chapel is breath-taking. There are 17 spires on the building. The spires don't mean a thing. The original design had more spires but was to expensive so the plans were revised and it turned out to have only 17 spires. The athletic complex is awesome. The thick, soft, green grass was absolutley refreshing to see. I haven't beena round grass like that in ages. I never played on a soccer field in college that could even compare to that. Goes to show that not alot of colleges care all that much about field upkeep. Oh, well.
Garden of the Gods is gorgeous! I would love to go there everyday and explore something new. It was a great hike with and awesome view. I took lots of pictures. While I don't know the names of the groups of rocks they are still great to look at. I was a little disappointed that I could not do any free rock climbing like I did 15 years ago. They have added sidewalks and signs telling you that you can't do any climbing. I guess too many people got hurt and were trying to sue. It is still a great place to go and lots of fun.
Pike's Peak was really cool. I was able to ride the Cog Railway to the top. It was 89 degrees at teh bottom in Manitou Springs and as we travelled higher in elevation the temps dropped dramatically. I don't know how cool it was, but I had to put on my jacket. The railway took 1hr 10 minutes to fet to the top and 1 hr 20 minutes to get to the bottom. Once at the top there is a 3500 ft drop if you fall off the edge. Pike's Peak is only 14,110 ft. It's ranked 31 out of 54 highest peaks in the Rockies. It was a great experience to go to the top. I think Dad liked it better. He gets so excited about these things. He really is a big kid. That's what makes him so fun sometimes.
It was a great vacation away from Texas and I had tons of fun. I wish I was still there in all the wonder of it all, but it's back to a normal life. Someday I will go back and do all the other things I want to do.

You Really Can't Go Home Again

I thought I had something to write about but now I can't remember what I wanted to say. That happens quite a bit to me. Short attention span I guess. So I just back from visiting family this past week and a half. Let me tell ya, I am soooo happy to be back in SA. It was the most boring time I had. I also felt like I was in high school all over again. I did not have a car to drive so I had to wait for someone to come home, but I really wasn't able to go anywhere by myself without knowing that Mom or Dad would be hurt if I didn't take them with me. My last night there my mom was so upset that I wanted to see a friend that I have not seen in over two years. She just got married and moved back to EP with her husband and she was not able to eat lunch with the rest of us over the weekend so I wasn't able to see her. All I wanted was to say hi and do a little catching up and talk about the wedding. I felt horrible the whole time because Mom was upset that I didn't spend the whole last night with her. I have decided that I can't go home that much. As much as I love my dogs and my friends, time with my fam is not the greatest thing. Mom complains about Dad, Dad complains about Mom and I hear both sides of it. I am tired of being the sounding board for their frustrations. It's just too hard on me and I have to make a decision. I do not want to go home until everything is worked out and my old bedroom is cleaned out and turned into an office or entertainment room. There is so much drama and crap that I just don't want to deal with it. So there it is. No more going "home". Maybe to see friends and stay with them, but that's it. No familial contact while I am there.
I love being back in SA. I have my own life here and I love it. My friends, the few I have, are here and the rest of my life is here. I am grateful to be here and learn the things I have and met the people I have met and associated with. I have so much fun here. I am busy with life and love it. It's what I have always wanted and I am grateful for the experience. I really am grateful for everything I have been blessed with.