Ok, So. . .

I'm a horrible blogger. I would love to write everyday, but by time I get home I don't want to be around a computer. Right now I feel super lazy. I have to be at school every Saturday for Saturday Detention (I should rename it "Breakfast Club"). That's three hours of things I could be doing in my office. Today, I don't feel like doing jack squat. I played on Pinterest for a little while getting ideas for dinners and healthy snacks. Then I started reading some blogs and realize, I'm a horrible blogger. I have a couple of friends that blog everyday and post pictures and do all that jazz. I am one boring person. I have some blogs with pictures but not many. Probably because the only time I ever blog is when I'm at work and don't have my camera up and running. If I could figure out how to get the pictures from my camera directly to my blog, then I would be set. I guess it's the whole gotta plug the phone into the computer to download pictures that makes me not want to do it.

Ok, so, I should probably have a goal to be a more positive person this year. I have noticed I am always such a "Debbie Downer". I look back and try to figure out when all of this started and I realize, it was when I became an assistant principal. I love being in admin and teaching, but it's the position I am in that is making me such a downer. I only see the problems with everything and it's draining. Rarely do I get to mingle with kids who care and are doing positive things. I find myself searching for those kids everyday. I am tired of always having negative energy around me. I need to get back to the positive. I need happy things and people in my life right now. It doesn't help that I work 12-14 hours a day and by time I get home I am exhausted and can't do much but hit the couch. If only I could figure out how to not work so many hours. I could come in later in the morning, but then no one would pick up the slack. Unfortunately, my counterparts on the academic side don't do much during the school day so that leaves it up to me. While I am talking about other admins, why do we have three, THREE people in the Academic Dean position at this school and only one, ONE, Discipline Dean? I understand there is a lot to do academically and that is what school is all about, but if there is an academic dean for middle school and one for high school, then why can't there be a discipline dean for middle school and a discipline dean for high school? We have five admins on this campus, surely, somehow the duties can be more equally broken up. I better get off this soapbox before I really become a downer.

Ok, so I am one of the Activity Days leaders at church now. Activity Days is for girls ages 8 - 11 and it is set-up to help teach these girls the doctrines and principles of the gospel in order for them to build their own testimonies and become closer to Heavenly Father. I went into this totally freaking out because I don't do well with the littles. I feel much more comfortable with the older kids. The past two times we have had activities, I have loved them! These girls are sassy and sweet. They haven't caught on to smart alleck remarks talking back to adults yet so they are absolutely adorable. I am having so much fun with them. I am excited to be a part of this amazing group of girls. I am also starting to get in touch with the little girl in me. Last night I went to Hobby Lobby and all these things caught my eye that have never caught my eye before. Feathers, beads, jewelry stuff, pretty paper, markers, paints, masks, etc. These things have not been on my shopping list for ages, but now they are the center of my world when I go to Hobby Lobby. It's really nice dealing with kids who don't have to argue or talk back all the time. It's really nice to not have to deal with the attitudes. Who knows, maybe these little girls can change my mind about what I want for kids. I think three kids is a perfect number, but I have never wanted a girl, always wanted boys. I'm a girl (duh), so I know what girls are like. I don't want any of my daughters going through all that drama. I tried to stay out of it, but how do I teach someone else how to stay out of it and not let it get to them? I know these are fears, but they are legitimate fears. Boys, on the other hand, don't fall into all that drama. I don't know. It's going to be a really long time before I have any kids, so I don't know why I am fretting over these things now.

Leland had his interview in Houston last week. Everything seemed to go okay. We haven't heard anything yet, but hopefully we hear something soon. So far things in SA aren't working out. There is too much uncertainty. The more I think about it, the more I am coming to terms with the fact that we may not be in SA much longer. When every open opportunity all of sudden closes just as Leland finishes school and graduates, and others are not meeting deadlines needed so he can get the job he wants, then you really start to think, "is this where we are to be right now?" The Lord has a plan and we have to be really patient right now. Things will fall into place when they fall into place. I would like them to fall into place sooner rather than later, but it's not by my time table. Over the past few years I have learned a lot about the Lord's timing and having faith in Him. I can only do so much, Leland can only do so much, but, if we stay righteous and continue to do those things we need to do, there will be comfort, joy, and the answer we need when we need it. Trust. Trust that the Lord knows you and what you need right now. I know He knows me and what I need right now. I know He loves me and continues to bless me with what I need. I know He lives! I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for me. All I have to do is trust in Him and not let my ambitions and my will get in the way. Good things are coming, good things are coming.