One of the things I love about going home to see my family is that they do not have wi-fi nor does the internet work half the time while I'm there so I get to go to Starbucks and listen to great music, sip on an IZZE sparkling water, and get on the internet for some fun stuff, like writing in my blog. This trip has been a great one. My mom had surge on Monday and talking to the doctor they got all of the tumorous parathyroid out this time. What a relief! I know Mom is going to be doing alot better and feeling so much better now that it is gone. While I have been here I have also been able to take a load off my dad. He leaves the house at 7am and doesn't get home until 6pm on non-game nights and 10pm (at the earliest) on game nights. When Dad gets home he usually has alot of work to do calling the newspaper (since the winning team calls the paper he usually has to do it all), getting his things ready for the next day, finding food for dinner, and then getting on the computer to do some work, and finally being able to relax and going to bed with a dog between his feet. This week I was able to do the cleaning and finding dinner for him so he could get right to work and not have to worry about those things. Since the dog likes to sleep with me when I am home Dad was able to get a good night's sleep without worrying about kicking the dog across the room. It has been a great week being able to help my family.
I have also learned a little more why I am the way I am. Taking care of my mom while fun has been very stressful. She won't let me or anyone else do anything for her. The only time I was able to help her out was on Monday taking her to and from the hospital. I was able to do more, but she wouldn't let me do that much. I would go into her room and ask her what she needed and even bring her stuff she didn't ask for to make her feel more comfortable. Every time she would turn down the offer of help and then five minutes later she would be up getting what I was offering to get her in the first place. Frustrating to say the least. That's where I get it. Even if I need help I don't want it because I know I can do it myself. I loathe having to rely upon someone else. I think I am getting a little better at it though. My experiences a couple of months ago has helped me a little, but I think I am going back to my normal "I can do it on my own" self. Then Dad got a little upset last night when the Relief Society President came over and offered to bring a meal Saturday. Dad is also very independent and feels that we Gilmores can take care of ourselves. Mom had to remind him that they want to do this and not to deny the blessings that it will bring to them. Dad while still not happy, will gladly accept the dinner. Growing up in a family of independents has helped me in how I am living now, but I wonder if it also hurts me and others? Do I deny the blessings of others because I feel that I can do it all on my own? I feel like I am imposing on others when I have to ask for help. Do I really impose on others when I ask for help? I don't know.
I have also learned how much I miss the mountains. I know the mountains here are nothing compared to Colorado or Utah or other mountainous states, but they are still so beautiful. I love the cloudy rainy days when the clouds seem to slide over the mountains and cover them like a sheet. Sometimes it's reminiscent of the destryoing angel in the Ten Commandments (the one with Charlton Heston as Moses) as the green hand of death goes through the streets of Egypt coming from the sky down to the ground and covering the streets. It's pretty cool. I also miss seeing the night lights from a high place, like Scenic Drive. Those are the things I miss most about the EP. I don't think I woud want to live here anymore, especially with all the violence and kidnappings from the Juarez, Mexico drug cartels going on, but it's always a nice place to visit. I love coming if just for the scenery and being with friends and family.
It's true that you can never go home again, but it's nice knowing that you can always go to a place that seems like home.