Musings at Midnight

I hate it when I can't fall asleep. I can't get comfortable, I'm too hot and things just keep running through my mind like crazy. It's like I can't turn my brain off right now. I thought what better way to turn my brain off than to write what is in my head, so this may be a long post. I don't blame you for not reading it all the way through.

Item Numero Uno: Cops (bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatch gonna do when they come for you?)

The cops paid a visit to the school twice this week. Once was to serve a student with a Criminal Trespass Warning (he cannot step foot onto or into any NEISD facility without the written permission of the principal of the school he trespassed on or the police at that facility for two years), and once for making a report about a student who was mugged on the way to school. The mugging couldn't have happened to a better kid either. He takes the city bus to school because his grandmother and uncle whom he lives with cannot drive him to school. He gets off the bus and BAM he's pushed down from behind and has his phone stolen from him. Luckily the kid wasn't hurt. This is what peeves me. The cop comes in to take the report and stands with his arms folded across his chest the entire time he's there except when he is writing stuff down. He says there is nothing the police can do and then lectures the kid for about twenty minutes on safety. What the heck are the SAPD officers good for these days? They couldn't get the report right when my car was stolen and couldn't find it and now they can't help a scared kid. Here's what they can do, GET OFF YOUR FAT LAZY BUTTS AND START PROTECTING YOUR COMMUNITY! Instead of lecturing a kid for twenty minutes how about you get in your car and start driving around the area looking for the perp? That would be a good idea. My guess is the cop left and didn't do a darn thing to try to find the perp. On the up side, the kid that ran away last week was safely back home two nights later. he now has no freedom whatsoever, but he is back at home. Then there was a kid that threatened another student because he has been bullying a smaller kid in the class. It was kinda nice that the kid was sticking up for his friend, but it caused all sorts of trouble for me for about four hours then the kid that was threatened decided to leave the school after we called a conference with the all the kids parents that were involved. That made for an awkward conference. I had teachers come in to discuss things with both parents and I was ready to rumble then the bombshell of one kid leaving the school just made perfect timing for the awkward silence. Nice! The best part of the week is that there are two sixth graders that are constantly picking on each other. A boy and a girl no less. The girl says stuff to the boy and the boy to the girl and the girl's friends are all involved in the drama. The friends of the girl are in my office reporting to me the haps at PE that day because the girl is too upset to talk to me herself. Whatever! It's funny the things that come across your office.

Item Numero 2: Church

Today was a pretty good day at church. I was actually awake this morning so I could focus a bit easier. The best part was the lesson in YW. Cordy gave the lesson to the Beehives on journal writing. I think this is why I can't get to sleep tonight. My mind is racing of all the things I want to write about. As I was sitting in the lesson I soon realized there are two major events in my life that I have not written about ever, my baptism and my patriarchal blessing. I am going to start with my baptism and my memories of that and then move to my patriarchal blessing and the things that have some to pass thus far in my life.

My Baptism happened in Tulsa, Oklahoma on April of 1990 about three weeks after I turned 8 yrs old. I had to wait until then so my Grandpa Smith could come up from San Antonio to be a part of the event and confirm me. My mom had made my baptism dress of white terry cloth material. It was so soft. Sis. Walsh was the main speaker. She gave me a plant to remind me of the new covenants I had made that day. She was one of my favorite people. She died a few years later of cancer I believe. My dad was the one to baptize me. He had to dunk me twice because the aforementioned dress came up and lifted out of the water, go figure. Then my Grandpa Smith confirmed me a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I remember being a little nervous and scared, but once I come up out of the water and was confirmed, a feeling of peace resided in me. I am grateful for the choice I made at such a tender age to be a member of the church. I have learned so many things and have had so many blessing come my way because of that one evening in April.

My Patriarchal Blessing was done in July 1998. I was 16 yrs old and was just learning to drive and was so happy when my mom let me drive to the Patriarch's home in Copperas Cove to do the blessing. My dad was the bishop of my ward at that time and did my interview to make sure I was worthy to receive the blessing. Dad was not able to attend the blessing because of his duties as Bishop, but I know he was happy for my decision. Mom and I sat and talked with Patriarch Olsen for about ten minutes before he began the blessing. I had never met this man before and he was going to talk to me for ten minutes then be able to give me a blessing that was going to lay out my life for me? I thought that was interesting. My mom told me after my blessing that he truly is an inspired man, without knowing which of the 12 tribes my parents are from he was able to tell me that I am of the lineage of Ephraim (like both my parents). He also told me twice in the blessing to be sensitive to the Spirit. There have been a few times in my life that I have had to really listen to the Spirit. The most recent happened last year when I received a job offer in EP and didn't take it even though it was what I have been wanting to do with my life since high school. The Spirit gave me such an impression that I was not to take that job. At the time I didn't know why, but if I had taken that job I would not be happily married to an amazing man. The next impression of the Spirit was when I decided to move to SA. I originally moved here so that I could help take care of my aging, ailing Grandpa Smith and go to grad school. When G-pa died five months before I moved it put a kink in the plans and now I was moving for grad school and start my teaching career. It also put me in the place I am now. Inspiration three happened when I was trying to decide what college to go to. I was being heavily recruited by The University of Louisville. I was about two months away from signing on the dotted line when the head coach was no longer working there. I decided I would wait and see what was going to happen before I moved on. When January rolled around there was no news and I decided to re-start my search for a school. That's when UTEP entered. It was a difficult decisions because I was going to be 10 hrs from my family and no one lived there that I knew. I didn't want to go, but I did. I was able to grow a lot as a person and develop my testimony. It was a tough six years in EP, but I am grateful for the experience and the people. I was able to serve in capacities that I never thought possible and learn more than I ever have. My blessing also tells me (and I am paraphrasing here because I don't remember the exact wording) that I will be an example to and lead the youth. Right now I am an assistant principal at a middle/high school charter. I am also a counselor in the YW Presidency in my ward. I have also served as a Relief Society President and Counselor and more importantly, as a friend and confidant to many youth in my life. I was also told in my blessing that I would be married to a worthy priesthood holder in the temple. I believe because of that blessing right there I made the choices I did for my life. It was always my goal to be worthy to have a temple recommend and marry in the temple. There were many times when I had many choices before me that I knew would not lead me to the temple. I could have spent four or more years partying with my friends who are not members of the church and placed myself in some pretty bad situations. I could have not accepted the callings that I did. I could have made the decisions my brother made so I would not be made fun of for my my beliefs and so I could fit in with those around me. But I didn't. I made the decisions that I knew were going to benefit me. Many people would say that all of this is coincidence, but I know it's not. When a man who you have only known for ten minutes tells you these things at the age of 16 you are inclined not to believe it. But when you look back on the years and everything that has happened in your life and you find and read your blessing, you begin to see that that one man is truly inspired and led by the Spirit. After twelve years and many moves I have lost the actual blessing that is on paper, but I remember the blessings in my heart and my mind. There are some other things that are in my blessing that have not come to pass yet and I anxiously await the days that they do. I know my blessing is not a one shot deal it will continue to last through this life and the next. I am grateful for my knowledge of the gospel and the blessings it brings to my life.

I am still not tired nor am I ready for bed. It's after midnight and I have to wake up in about five hours. Maybe now that things are out of my head I can let me mind be at rest and I can sleep. We shall see what happens. But for now, Good Night!