Music

Music really knows how to get through to people. Music evokes emotion, tells a story, or is just plain crazy. Right now I am listening to the playlist I have made from playlist.com. I turn it on everyday at work. It's a bunch of different types of music. You are probably listening to some of it as you are reading this right now. You can check out all the songs on the green list to the left. I love walking into my office after a class and hearing music from my computer. The songs I listen to either calm me done or hype me up. Sometimes you just need that little extra something to make you get into the mood you need to be in. Having the music on during my after school responsibilities has made me a more relaxed and easy-going person. I am not as uptight as I normally am when I have my music going. I can also use it as noise control. I tell my estudiantes (like that Spanglish don't you?) that if I cannot hear the music from my computer at the current level then they are too loud. My computer can get pretty loud so if I can't hear it then I know the kiddos are pretty darn loud.

I have fallen in love with the music of Ingrid Michealson as of late. She has some really fun songs. The sweater song used in the Old Navy commercial is one of her songs. Most of the stuff of hers that I have is fun to listen to and makes me feel happy. Not all songs do that but the ones I picked seem to do that right now. The song I am listening to right now is BE OK. It just has a great lift and lightness to it. Ingrid Michealson, you rock!

Music is very powerful. The best music is the music that uplifts you and makes you feel good about who you are and what you are doing. Now granted, some of the music I listen to is not that great. It may have a great beat, but the words are terrible. To be honest, I like a song for the beat and that is what I pay the most attention to. After a little while I start listening to the words, then I change things up. There were a ton of songs that I liked until I really started listening to the words. Yes, people can be attracted to a beat and not listen to the words. Can they ignore the words forever? No. The words sneak in there somewhere sometime. The character of a person is shown when they know exactly what is being said and understand what is being said and still listen if it does not have the right lyrics. Even the most naive person can figure out what things mean. It's not like when my parents were younger and everything was hidden in a song (ex. Rock and Roll = sex, not a genre of music). Now-a-days there is no effort to hide what is being said. I was talking to someone about a song (Superman by TI I think) and that person did not want to believe that the words were all about disrespecting women and she didn't want to hear what I had said about it so she could be "ignorant" and not feel bad about listening to the song that she should not be listening to. That's her choice and someday she will be accountable for the decisions she made.

No matter what type of music you listen to you feel something. Classical music makes you use you imagination to try to put a story to a song. Upbeat rhythms make you feel happy. Slow, sad songs make you want to cry or make you feel sad. Have fun exploring music and learning about the songs. I have certainly had an education in music the past few years trying to decode the messages being sent. I have seen the effects music has on people and I now the effects it has on me. Whatever you listen to have fun listening and get lost in the music.

I Triple Dog Dare You

I have started this new thing recently that I will start my day positively. I try to not think about negative things in morning when I awake and I try to stay as positive as I can when I am at work. So far, it's working. When I start the day with positivity the rest of my day seems to go a little more smoothly than it probably would go. There have been days in which I just can't handle the kiddos. They come into my classroom (the gymateria as it is affectionately called) and think they can do whatever they please. It doesn't matter how many times I go over the procedures with them, they just don't seem to get it. They run around like crazies, they yell, they shout, they just go completly bonkers! It's tiring to have to do that everyday. Since I have started out on a good note, these days seem a little better. I even have more energy in the afternoons for my after school kiddos too. It's made a total difference in my day. Just one little thing everyday that doesn't seem to make a difference really does. While I have this great feeling all day I still have my problems, but they are easier to handle. Financial decisions, especially with all the medical bills I am having to pay right now, are easier to make. Dealing with people is a better experience. I have a greater outlook on life. It's only been a couple of weeks, I know, but that couple of weeks makes me want to do this longer. All this reminds me of early morning seminary when I was in high school. Most teenagers don't get up at 5am or 530am unless it is picture day and everything has to be just right. I awoke every morning at that time, even after staying awake until after 1am or 2am doing homework after a road game, and went to a class about scriptures. How many people do you know, if you are not LDS, would do that? Those were the best days of young life then. I always noticed a difference in my day when I wasn't able to go to seminary. Those days would seem to drag on for - e - ver! But the other days were great! I challenge anyone who reads this no matter your situation, the obstacles, the trials, the sadness, to start your day on a good note. You may have to figure out what brings you happiness in the morning, but just try it for a week or two and see how things go. There is so much to be grateful for how could you not be positive in the morning? Go ahead try it, I triple dog dare you!

Caution

This situation really makes me angry. I was talking with one of my co-workers today. Yesterday she was in a car accident. The car was totalled, but the people are all okay, thankfully. Here is the kicker in her day. Her 85 yr old mother who lives in Mexico was robbed and raped. What kind of person would rob and sexually assault an old woman? The thing that made my blood really boil was that the man then told his victim that everything was going to be okay and everything was fine. What kind of, uggggghhhhh, it just makes me so angry! Seriously, preying on the elderly? Sick, psychotic people. I mean c'mon. It angers me so much I can't even think of the words to describe it. I wonder if this guy had been watching that house and waited until he knew there was no one else there or if he just happened to stop by at the right moment. The woman wasn't going to open the door for this guy but he used a story that he was hungry and needed food. She tells the guy she doesn't have anything then tells herself that she can't let someone go hungry so she opens the door a little then he forced the door open the rest of the way. It's a sick, sick person that would do something like that. He needs some help and some jail time. Too bad it wasn't here in the states where real justice could be served. I don't think that guy will ever be found. My poor co-worker can't even go to help her family. Thankfully other family lives there that can help but my co-worker is really hurting that she can't be there. I wish I could do something to help her out more.
This serves as a little warning: Never open your door to strangers especially if you are alone.

S.A.D.? Sounds Pretty Sad to Me

Happy belated Valentine's day! Okay, so here's the thing I don't like. Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Many of the people I know have been calling it Single Awareness Day (S.A.D.). Normally I would agree with those people, but something has happened this year. I did not see Valentines as SAD. I started thinking about the whole concept. This is what I think... I think that when you call Valentines S.A.D. then you are really acting bitter or you are depressed that you are not dating anyone or married or have that "special someone" by your side. The old me, the me from last year, got caught up in the whole SAD thing. It's horrible to feel like that, bitter, depressed, mad that you don't have anyone by your side. This year I guess I have finally come to realize that Valentines is not just about having another person by your side that you call your boy/girlfriend, husband/wife. Valentines is about showing appreciation for the people that are your friends and loved ones. I was doing a lot of housework and other stuff so my day was really busy, but even at night when I went to the Quarry to do a little walking around and some shopping (got some really cute things too) and seeing all the couples going to dinner, the movies, or just out for coffee, I didn't think about how single I was. I was genuinely happy for those people. In the past a scene like that would have made me think of how single and lonely I was. Now, I am happy and secure in my singleness. I am comfortable with who I am at this time in my life. I am so appreciative of the people in my life that make me smile, laugh, cry, and comfort me when I need it. Valentines isn't a "Singel Awareness Day", it's a day to show your appreciation for others. It's really just another day. Another day to try to serve. Another day to love more deeply those that are already in your life. Another day to live life to the fullest. Wallowing in self-pity isn't going to do anything for you but make you feel worse. Don't worry about the relationship you are not in; worry about the ones you already have all around you. Have I really grown-up this much in the past year? I think I have and it's a good feeling to realize that you have grown up a little. Man, this life really is a wonderful life isn't it?

Power of Positivity

I did it! I maileed in all my stuff for that AP opening. I know I am not going to get it, but at least I took the first step in trying. It's an accomplishment of sorts. Not a big one, but an accomplishment. Hopefully some good will come from this. Even if it's not an Ap job, a teaching position will be nice.
Tonight is Institute and I didn't do my homework. That's what the time between 6pm and 7pm are for. Reminds me of my college days doing the homework five mionutes before class starts because I was too tired to do it the days before the class actually met. Those were the days. I am so excited for this class I am taking. I don't think I have ever been this excited for an Institute class. I have always loved Tute and the classes are always great, but this class has something about it that makes me want to remember all the info. Maybe because it has to deal with the Second Coming of Christ and I love learning about that because it gives me great hope. I don't know, but I love it and can't wait for Institute tonight. The past three classes that I have attended have been great classes. There is always so much to learn. Maybe if I had actually stayed awake all those years during seminary this wouldn't be as interesting. I just wasn't ready for the information at that time in my life and now I am ready for it. I just want what I learn to stick with me this time. I try hard to gain the knowledge, but I can never remember anything. It's so frustrating. Someday it will all come back to me. It will just take a few, oh I don't know, decades before I remember it all, but it will come back to me.
I am looking forward to the day ahead. I have made it my goal to start everyday on a positive note. When I am negative in the morning I tend to be negative all day. So I am trying not to listen to bad news stories or depressing music or anything like that in the mornings. I want my days to be good and I want the energy to last. If I am thinking and being positive, then everything will be okay. If I am positive then my kiddos will have a better day and they will be positive too. Por ejemplo, yesterday morning before school began I heard a student swear at another student. The other kids were laughing a bit, but this one kid was really upset and mad. I pulled him aside and asked him what was going on. he said his day started off really bad because he woke up late, then someone kicked him in the cafeteria before school, them someone else did something else and that led up to the kid swearing at another student. He let all these external factors influence him so greatly that he felt he had no choice but to have a bad day. After talking to him I challenged him to start his day over and have a better day by not letting those outside factors influence him. At the end of the day as he was leaving school I asked him how his day was. He told me it was much better and had a good day. That's when I started thinking to myself that I can't let all these outside factors influence my day. Then last night on the news there was a little story about how positivity has been researched and proven to be contagious. I believe it. There have been many times when I wasn't excited about going somewhere or doing something and one person came in like a firecracker ready to explode and changed the whole dynamic. Positivity is contagious my friends, let us all catch it. Let's start the day on the positive side and make the best of every situation no matter how trying it may be. Look for the good and great things will come. have a wonderfully fantastic day!

Good Things

This past week my dad had surgery to find out how bad his skin cancer is. Everything is fine. The cancer hadn't spread too far. Now all he has to worry about is another hole in his head, until it heals anyway. I am grateful he is going to be okay. The next surge he has will be an easy one, cataract surge. Then this summer back surge. It must be a year of surgeries for my family. My mom will also have to have a surgery this year. She had a surgery a couple of years ago to get rid of a part of her parathyroid that was giving her problems. She was doing great until a few months ago when all her symptoms from before the first surge started coming back. After going to the doc she found out that, strangly, her parathyroid had grown back. How weird is that?! I didn't know your parathyroid could grow back. Interesting. She will also have a surge this year. Hopefully she can get it done when I have Spring Break so I can go and take care of her like she took care of me when I was down. Hopefully my bro doesn't have to have any surges because he doesn't have any insurance. We'll have to wait and see what happens.
I really don't know why I logged on tonight. I guess I had a little to talk about but now I am out of stuff, oh wait! So it's February, time to start looking for another job. I would still love to be able to teach and coach soccer, but my options are a little limited at this time. My next option is to start looking for assistant principal positions. There is one open at an elementary school that is way closer to my home than where I work now. I know I probably will not get the job but there is no harm in trying is there? I am a little wary about applying. Could I really be a principal when I am under 30 yrs old? Did my program give me the tools needed to be an adminstrator? Can I handle the pressure, the students, the parents? I don't know. Do I hold out and try to find a coaching position or do I move into the admin field? There are so many questions I need answered. They can only be answered if I try for the position. If I do get hired then more questions can be answered. All I need to do is hunker down and fill out the application. Hopefully all goes well.

I Just Want to Scream!

Remember when you listened to your teachers because they weren't your parents so you would listen to them? Remember when you were told to do something you stopped whatever you were doing and did what you were told to do? Remember when someone who was considered an authority figure told you you were doing something wrong and you stopped doing it without arguing over every single point that was being made? Remember when kids actually had respect for their teachers? Remember when all you had to hear was that you were going to be sent to the principal's office or your parents would be called and you straightened up right away? I know not everyone was like that, but I know I was. I feel like I need to vent right now. Parents aren't teaching their kids the proper ways to treat people or themselves. The other day a kid wanted to argue with me because he wasn't wearing the right color jacket and I told him to take it off and put it in his locker. Everything was an argument. Where is the room for the argument when I am quoting the school handbook about what the proper jacket color should be? How do you get around something that is printed in black and white and has already been approved by a lawyer (and you know lawyers love to argue every point)? The kid still tried to argue with me. Today a kid was told by a teacher to put his jacket in his locker because it was not school approved attire and he said, "Hold on, hold on, I have to take this to the front office first." The disrespectful little snot then tries to go into his classroom after going to the front office without putting his jacket in the locker. My classes are terrible. I feel like giving up on them everyday. I am tired of fighting the same fight every single day. You call parents, and still nothing happens. You talk to the kid, you send them to the office and still nothing happens. What is going on with society today? I'll tell you what is going on. Kids are seen as something that is fun to have but no one wants to teach and really take care of them. Parents are scared that their kids are going to shoot them in the middle of the night if they don't give them what they want. Parents are not disciplining their kids. You send a kid to their room these days and they have more fun than if you made them spend time with the family. Kids rooms are stocked with TV's, DVD players, iPods, game consoles, etc. Sending a kid to their room is not punishment, it's a vacation! When you try to discipline a kid as school mommy and daddy come and try to talk you out of the discipline. If you don't give in then they go to the admin and the admin rides your six about it or they go ahead and drop the consequence you gave. Whatever happened to the days when the parent took sides with the teacher? My parents were always on the side of the teacher. Right or wrong, my parents supported the teacher. So amny parents today think their kid is absolutely perfect and that they are little angels. Come and watch your kid in secret for the day and you will see what they are really like. I am so tired of fighting. I am so tired of not having control over a situation. I am so tired of the attitudes that are tossed around. This is really a thankless job. Kids don't respect you because you are a teacher and are therefore beneath them. Parents think they are better than you because they make more money than you or they make less than you and thin their kids aren't going to amount to anything anyway so why try to support anything. I don't know, I feel as if I have choosen the wrong profession today. I feel like quitting right now. I want to walk into the principal's office and tell him that I quit. If I had the funds available and knew I could survive the next year without needing income then I would do that, but seeing that I need the money for my survival I can't really do that. You know what makes things worse? I owe the IRS. I don't get paid enough already and I owe the IRS. What kind of bullspit is this? I feel like right now I am being punished for my choice to try to contribute to society. Maybe if I were more selfish and only thought about how I was going to make things better for me only then maybe I would be rewarded for something. I know about the rewards in heaven and all that jazz, but here on earth, in this blink-of-an-eye existence I need something worldly to get by. You can't live on treasures in heaven alone. I just want to scream right now, but I can't since I am in my office and there are other people around. I probably just made myself even more frustrated by writing about all of this, but UGH! Hopefully my week will get better. Something has to go right this week. Thankfully there is always Institute on Wednesdays.

Power of the Priesthood

Today at church it was testimony meeting day. This week it was a great meeting! There really wasn't anyone that told pointless stories or rambled on and on about stuff I really didn't care about. I admit it, I can't stand it when people get up and ramble on and on so I space out during people's "testimonies". One thing I really liked was Bro. Barton's testimony about the power of the priesthood and preisthood blessings.
I am so grateful for the priesthood in my life. I don't hold the priesthood, but I have friends and family that do and I have been tremendously blessed by them, especially these past couple of weeks. I love that the priesthood is on the earth today and that there are men out there that truly appreciate being able to have the priesthood. If it were not for the power of the priesthood I do not think I would be able to heal as quickly as I have from my surgery and later infection nor do I think I would be able to live on my own. As soon as I found out that I had appendicitis and needed to have surgery I called one of my friends that I knew would be able to help me. He quickly went to work trying to find another person to help give the blessing that I needed. If he had not honored his priesthood and been living a righteous lifestyle he would not have been able to help me. I am so grateful for the life he lives and the power that he has to serve. The second time in the hospital I had a friend's dad come give me a blessing. I never thought I would be the person in the hospital bed that needed a blessing. I always heard stories about those in the hospital who had blessings and I was always grateful I wasn't one of them. I am grateful I was able to recieve the blessing, it has helped me in my recovery thus far.
The coolest story I have ever heard about the power of priesthood blessings has to one my dad gave before I was born. My dad and one of the guys in his ward, Greg Lake, were asked to give a blessing to an elderly woman that was in the hospital and brain dead. That family was certain and had enough faith that if she had a blessing then she would be perfectly fine. So Dad and Greg go to give her a blessing and all sorts of doctors are in the room doing a bunch of stuff. Dad asks if they can give the blessings and the doctors, skeptical it would work, said they could do it. Once they finished the blessing the woman awoke. Doctors swarmed the woman and were in awe that she went from being completely brain dead to alert and functioning. Dad and Greg walked out of the room and that was that. I don't know whatever happened to the woman after that, but it goes to show when you have faith and worthy preisthood holders to give a blessing then great and marvelous things can happen.
I am so grateful the priesthood is on the earth today and that it will continue to be on the earth. I am grateful for worthy preisthood holders that have respect for the power they have been given. I am grateful for those in my life that have given me blessings and the great and marvelous things that have happened to me because of their willingness to take this great responsibility and serve others.