Christmas!

Yesterday was a great day! It was my first real Christmas away from my family. I spent one Christmas away from my mom and dad about four years ago, but I was with my great aunt and uncle and great grand-mother so I was still with family. This year I was with future family, well, three days away from being real family. It was a relaxing day. I went to Leland's and when I got there he was making German pancakes, Yum! After breakfast we relaxed a little then opened gifts. My favorite gift is what Leland got me. He didn't have any wrapping paper so it was in the box the store gave him which had the store name on it. I thought I knew what it was right away, but I was tricked. I knew it was from COACH, my favorite bag shoppe, but it wasn't what I thought it was. I thought it was a regular handbag, but it was so much more! I had just mentioned a couple of months ago in passing that there was a fragrance that I loved that COACH makes. When I opened the box there was this beautiful silver bag filled with the fragrance and the matching body cream. It was perfect. I love that I can mention one little thing and he remembers it. I wish I had the steal trap of a mind that Leland has. I have to hear things over and over and over again before I can remember any of it. He hears it once and BAM it's in his head. The rest of the day was full of talking with family, trying to help my mom through the first Christmas without me, movies, and a wonderful dinner of ham, veggies and funeral potatoes. All in all it was a wonderful day. I even talked my mom into coming to SA a day early. As I type she is on her way here. The dryer just went off meaning it's time to get back to work.

Christmas Already?

I cannot believe Christmas is two days away! It seems to come earlier and earlier each year. This year I have not done my Christmas shopping or sent cards or e-mails to people. I haven't even done my Christmas baking! That's the big thing that I do every year. I love to bake around the holidays and this year it just hasn't happened. Maybe it's because I am not with my family this Christmas and Mom and I take a day to bake tons of delicious goodies or maybe it's because I am so busy with basketball and doing the whole athletics director thing or could it be that it's six days away from the wedding and there is still so much that needs to be done. It is really a mixture of all of the above. I just realized, I haven't decorated my apartment with my nativities, which is my second favorite thing to do after baking. I love decorating with the Nativities because it always reminds me of what Christmas is all about. It's not about the traffics at the malls, the stores that are full to overflowing, the sales, the food or the pretentious people you run into all the time. Christmas is all about Christ (hence the term CHRISTmas = More Christ). This is the one time a year when people start thinking about others instead of themselves, well, sometimes. Why can't we have this attitude all the time? It's not that hard to do. This season is all about Christ. He was born to help every single one of us. It was His mission to come to earth, die, and be resurrected so we all could have that chance to once again live with our Heavenly Father. Without Him this life would not work out. We would not have the joy and happiness the gospel brings. We would not have anything to believe in. We would not have faith. I think back to the people who were on the earth before Christ came. They were always told a Savior would come. They were told exactly the circumstances of His birth and what he would endure. Many people looked forward with faith, always believing that one day He would come. Others lost hope and faith. It is with admiration that I look to those who stayed faithful. I don't know if I could have been as faithful as they. All these people had were prophecies. All they had were words in a book or words from someones mouth. They played the waiting game. But, they had faith in Him. They had faith that Christ would come and reign on the earth. Now, 2000 years later, we know that Christ came and what he did. We have the proof in ancient texts and writings. We know he was here on the earth. We don't have to have faith that he will be born and do all that he was suppose to do, He's already done it. I sometimes think that we have it easier today than what our ancestors did over 2,000 years ago because we have the proof. All we need is the faith to believe Him when he tells us to look to Him and follow his teachings. Christ is our Savior. He is the reason we can know joy and live with our Heavenly Father again someday. I love the Christmas season. It is wonderful! Please remember what this time of year is really about. Let's also keep this "christmas spirit" alive throughout the year. We could all use it.

I really don't know what to write about today, but I feel as though I should write at least a little something. Today will be my last Sunday in a Singles Ward. I will also be teaching the Relief Society lesson. It's a great lesson about the prophet Joseph Smith. It is the last lesson in the manual. The topic is the testimonies of all the prophets since Joseph Smith about Joseph Smith. The words are beautiful and so true. I am excited to be facilitating discussion about this chapter of the book. I am excited and nervous. I think I am more nervous about this than getting married. Everyone is starting to ask if I am nervous yet. No, not really. At least not yet. I am still trying to figure things out about the apartment and what still needs to be done. I think I have it somewhat workable. At least I have how the food is going to fit. This past Wednesday one of my friends threw me a shower. It was a blast. I am grateful that only a handful of people attended the shower because if any more than what showed had some I would not have room for all the food. Oh, the shower was a pantry shower. All the guests had to bring pantry items that started with the letters of their first and last names. I got a lot of great stuff, especially dessert items. My cupboards are full to overflowing. Thanks to all who were able to come and contribute to my empty shelves. I am forever grateful to you. Like I said earlier, I really have no idea what I am writing about today, just a lot of hodge podge. Oh yeah, Congratulations Lovey and Andrew! You will have a wonderful life together. That's it for today. More to come later in the week as everything really starts to get down to the nitty gritty.

Almost There!

Two weeks, fourteen days! Time has flown by, but I now wonder how fast these next two weeks will go, hmmmm........

Three weeks and counting! Exactly three weeks from today my whole world will change. I will not longer be Kathryn Gilmore, but Kathryn Page. It's so weird typing that after all these years of typing my normal name. At least it won't take as much time signing receipts as it does now, lol. There are still lots of things to be done, but it's nothing too major and it's all coming together.


Excitement is in the air! The kids at school are way excited too. All of my volleyball girls are starting to countdown the days and weeks. It's actually a little funny. Sometimes I think they are more excited than I am. I would look at it in a bad way that they are more excited than I am and it made me worry and think. "Shouldn't I have that same level of excitement? I mean I have been waiting for this day my whole life that I can remember. I should be way more excited than what I am", but then I started thinking they don't have the worry and fear that goes along with it. They just see everything from the fun, oh-how-cute perspective of it all. They don't have to think about combining two separate lives into one, or what to do with all the stuff, or how much the daily activities are going to change, and so on. Don't worry, they will feel the stress someday when they start going through all of this.



One chapter of my life is about close and another one open. As I think back to what my life has been to up until this point I see the joys, pains, struggles, and experiences that I have gained from it all. As I look to the preview of the next chapter I see more joys, pains, struggles and experiences. This time I see another person that will experience those things with me and we can learn from them together as a family. I am really looking forward to this next chapter and can't wait to see what happens, yay!

Traditions

The date os this blog is 12/7/09 but I didn't really start it until 12/14/09 so. . . Yesterday Leland I had the opportunity to meet with Pres. Freckleton (sp?) as we enter the final weeks until the wedding. He was talking about traditions and it got me to thinking, "what are some of my family's traditions?" Many of my family traditions all have to deal with food. I guess that's why I am such a foodie and lover of all foods. Birthday traditions involve Mom slaving over a stove/oven cooking our favorite dishes. Mine usually changed all the time depending on the year and what new foods I was introduced to during the previous year. Eddie usually went with white chicken enchiladas, Dad was meatloaf, but Mom never really said what she wanted so I made whatever I could or we took her out to eat. That was birthdays in my home growing up. Christmas was always fun, especially when I started cooking. We would always do chili and tamales (yum!) with a really good dip and crackers, triscuits, wheat thins, oysters (for everyone but me, gross!) and egg snot, I mean egg nog. And that was just Christmas Eve. Since my mom usually worked on Christmas Eve she was never home to enjoy the meal with us. It wasn't until around the time I was in college that she started working more normal hours. When Mom got home Christmas morning she would make chorizo and egg tacos and we would begin the gift opening. Good times! In high school we started doing the neighborhood luminaria lightings on Christmas and Christmas Eve and that still goes on today. Ever since then that has been family's Christmas Tradition. Now, it is time to start new traditions with my new family. I don't know what the tradition will be, maybe a comination of my family's and his family's traditions. We shall see.
Another one of my favorite family traditions is the parade clean-up after the Sun Bowl Parade in El Paso every Thanksgiving. I started doing the clean-up in 2000, my first semester at UTEP. It was just me at first then I got my family involved the following year after they moved to EP. This year I got Leland involved. he thinks it's a strange tradition, but I love it! What a great way to show gratitude for everything that has been given to you! Now, I do regret that I have missed a couple of years of clean-up. Even though I am not there, my family still participates and I am grateful that I was able to start that for my family. Every time I go to EP for Thanksgiving I will still clean-up as long as I am able.
There really aren't any other set-in-stone traditions from my side of the family. I am excited to be able to start new traditions. Indeed, I look forward to it.

One of My Faves

Last night I was thinking about one of my favorite memories from past Christmases and came across on f my faves. I was about eight years old when my Grandpa Smith came for Christmas. He lived in SA and my family lived in Tulsa so I didn't get to see him much when I was growing up and we rarely spent the holidays together so it was a special Christmas. Well, my Grandpa made the BEST cherry cheesecake I have ever tasted, not even Cheesecake Factory can come close to what Grandpa made. Grandpa and I were up really early on Christmas Eve morning (I guess I have always been a morning person) and he wanted to make the cheesecake for my brother because that was my bros favorite treat. We didn't have the ingredients at home so Grandpa and I went to the store. Since my Grandpa did not have access to any car keys, or a car for that matter, we walked to the store. Grandpa asked me which store we should go to. Since I didn't know there was a store about a half mile from the house in one direction I told him we should go to Price-Mart about a mile and a half from our house. That was the only store I remember so we headed out. There we were and eight-year-old redhead and a 70 year old grandpa with a cowboy hat and boots walking down one of the busiest roads in Tulsa at the time. Thankfully it was still really early so there weren't as many cars on the road. We made it to the store and back without problems and I sat in the kitchen watching as Grandpa made his cheesecake. Great morning! Grandpa got into a little bit of trouble for that one though. Mom and Dad weren't so happy about Grandpa walking me to the store and back. Grandpa is Grandpa and didn't listen to what they had to say. The next morning was Christmas morning and I got a brand new pair of roller skates. These weren't just any roller skates though. These were my very first real pair of skates, white with teal colored wheels. I was ecstatic to get these skates! My school usually had a monthly skate night at the local skating arena and I would always have to rent skates, now I didn't have to rent skates anymore, sweet! I wanted to go out skating that morning so Grandpa took me out again. This time it was to Hick's Park to skate on the tennis courts. Again, out on the busy road, but this time I had on my skates which is a little more dangerous than walking, but I digress. It was a wonderful Christmas that year in 1990, almost 20 years ago (boy time sure does fly!). That, my friends is one of my faves.

The window in my gym still has not been repaired. It is 34 degrees outside now and 55 degrees inside the gym. The temps are suppose to drop to frezzing or below between tonight and tomorrow and I don't want to be in a gym when it is that cold without heat. How long is it going to take to get this window fixed? Anyone wanna place a bet?

A Week to be Thankful!

This morning I get to work and what do I find? A window in my gym has been busted out! Glass all over the stairs and even on the floor below. Sad that people have to break windows like that. I wonder if someone was trying to get into the gym for some reason and thought, "hey, let me break a window that is about 20-30 feet off the ground. That will definitely make it easier to get in." Whatever, stupid people do stupid things.

This past week was a great one. I went home for Thanksgiving and had a blast. I was able to show Leland around the EP. The silence after the question "What do you think about EP?" said a thousand words. Not that impressed with the whole thing. It was fun going to the shoppes at the outlet and seeing friends. Ke'Flauta was great as usual and all my old soccer friends are still amazing. I love seeing those girls and catching up on life and everything in between. We always have good time when we are together, and the time flies by! We met for breakfast at 8:30am and didn't leave VI until 11:30am. What a great time we had!

Thanksgiving day was busy, but very fun. I woke up early to run in the Turkey Trot and found out that I have cut two minutes from my 5K time since July, sweetness! Then I went home to relax for a little but then it was on to the parade fro clean-up. Every year that I am in EP I go help with the clean-up afterwards. It's become a little tradition for my fam. Mom stays home and cooks while Dad and I go clean-up. This year Leland was there to help so it was a little easier. After the clean-up we went back to my parents, I made the mashed potatoes and masked sweet potatoes and it was time to eat the yumminess that is the Thanksgiving Feast! The only problem this year was the turkey. Poor turkey, my mom took it out of the freezer Tuesday night and it was still frozen Thursday morning. Mom waited as long as possible before cooking it but it was still a little frozen when she had to put it in the oven so she left it in for and extra 30 minutes. She didn't have to do that because the turkey would have been just fine with normal timing. Lots of gravy and good stuff mixed with the turkey and you couldn't even tell. Afterwards it was the traditional falling asleep during the football games. Later in the evening Mom wanted to go to the outlet shoppes for the 10pm openings and deals. That was a major bust. All the stores that I normally go to had lines around the buildings and I wasn't waiting for those lines to save an extra 10%. We left pretty quickly. All in all it was a great Thanksgiving day.

Friday was Great Grandma Aurea's 102nd birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY G-G MA! LOVE YOU!

Saturday we went to White Sands, NM to take my bridal portraits. It was a cloudy evening, but it made fro great lighting and beautiful contrast. We were so lucky too. After the pics were finished we went into Alamogordo, NM for dinner and as we were getting ready to leave to go back home the heavens opened and it was pouring rain! We left the sands just in time because with the timing of everything if we had stayed for even five minutes more my dress would have been ruined from the rain and sand. Perfect timing! Saturday was also Daddio's birthday so a "Happy Birthday Shoutout is in order", HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

It turned out to be a wonderful week full of fun activities and Leland getting to know my family a little better. He must really love me because in order to meet my brother and spend a week with my family and still want to marry me, it would have to be love.

Today in Sacrament meeting the topic was "gratitude". What else would it be the Sunday before Thanksgiving? One of the speakers really got me thinking. He said, "Everyday we pray and say that we are thankful for the day, but what about the day are we thankful for?" That got me to thinking, what about today am I thankful for? Today I am thankful for friends who love and support me and want me to be happy. I thankful for a loving family that is going to drive me crazy over the next five weeks, but then will be okay after that. I am thankful for the gospel and the restoration. I am thankful for inspired leaders. I am thankful for personal revelation. I am thankful for the Savior and the sacrifice that he made for me. I am thankful for a loving fiance that will support me in whatever decisions I make and my goals in life. I am thankful for Temples and the opportunity to be sealed to my family for eternity. I am thankful for technology because I don't think I could do math without it. I am thankful for a roof over my head and food in my cupboards. I am thankful for so many things today there is not enough time to write them all down. I guess, most importantly, I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who has blessed me so much recently. I am thankful!

I am also in the Christmas mood now. The past couple of years I have not been all that into Christmas. It just hasn't felt like Christmas but after going to the mall yesterday and walking around a Christmas store looking for my mom's Christmas gift and seeing all the nativities, I am in the mood. I needed the reminder of the nativities about what the season is all about. It's not about the gifts or the sales, or the materialism. It's about the birth of Christ and I hope I will be able to remember that as the stress of the season comes upon me. It is my goal to remember what the time is really about and not worry about the other stuff that the world thinks the season about. This year is really turning out to be a great one! One more month and the year will end. Another year down, another year of experience and wisdom.

I have never been so happy for it to be a school break! I am only hours away from Thanksgiving break. I think I am looking forward to this break more than even the kids. I don't even care that I have to go to some meetings on Monday. I am just happy to not worry about anything for a week, especially crazy, disresepctful kiddos. All I have to worry about is dying trying to run in altitude again, making some yummylicious desserts and potatoes for Thanksgiving, and not eating too much so I can fit into my dress. I soooo need this break right now. This semester has been the highest of high stress for me. I am grateful I have someone that is helping comfort me and take away the stress if only for a couple of hours a day. When I get back I know there will be no rest but at least I can prepare a little better for it instead of being thrown straight into it.
I am so happy to be able to spend some time with my family doing the traditional things. Me waking up early on Thanksgiving morning to run in the Turkey Trot. Mom cooking in the kitchen starting Wednesday and going all the way through meal time. Dad and me going to do the parade clean-up. Going back home and cooking frantically until te potatoes and desserts are done. Trying to find spaces on the table for all the food that Mom and I have made. Getting a plate full of everything and sitting on the couch to eat. Oh, and how can I forget the traditional "I am thankful for..." This year two things will be added to the mix. One, midnight shopping at the outlet mall and two, Leland trying to keep up with it all. It's not really going to be a restful week, but it will be fun! And i will get to see all my friends from college that I miss dearly. We have all started lives of our own all over the world and it's nice that we are able to still get together every now and then to update our going ons and enjoy in one another's friendship.
My thoughts of gratitude are starting. Thanksgiving has become the overlooked holiday between Halloween and Christmas, but I will write about that another time. Only seven more hours until freedom from crazy!

The fundraiser, like predicted, was a bust. The "pie the teacher" was a huge success. The homeroom that was running the event made almost $300! Congrats to that homeroom on all of their hard work and dedication to getting this thing done. I had a great time getting pied then having cool whip and chocolate syrup literally all over me for the rest of the night. I have heard there are tons of videos out there right now of me and my collegues getting pied. Good times, good times. Cool whip and chocoate syrup are not, repeat, not good for the eyes. Boy does it sting when that stuff hits the eye!

My dress should be arriving sometime today!! Exactly six more weeks! Still a little scary, a lot crazy, and majorly (sp?) exciting!

Tonight is the big fundraiser I have been stressing about for the past couple of months. I am a tad worried about everything though. It's the middle of the month, parents haven't been paid yet, and we are charging outrageous prices for everything. I think the only thing that will be successful will be the "Pie the Teacher" fundraiser. I have already had kids tell me they have bought ten tickets for the chance to throw a pie at me. That will be fun, but I think they should do it at the very end of the night to keep people there for the entire night. After the pie in the face people are leaving. Some kids have said they are only staying for the pie and they really don't care about anything else. At least they will be participating in a school event that hopefully they will be able to see what that participation brings about. I am not a fan of fundraisers, but I will support them if I can. If it's for a good cause or something noble then I have no problem with giving a bit of money. I always feel bad asking others for money so I am not a good fundraiser. I would rather do the planning then hide behind the scenes. I think I am like that for alot of stuff. I enjoy planning stuff and doing all the behind-the-scenes work. I don't need the limelight. I don't need to be out in front of everyone taking alll the attention. I hate extra attention. I like the background. I like to watch as people have fun at whatever event is planned. We shall see how everything works out tonight. Just keep thinking, "It's going to be okay. All will be fine."

OKC April 19, 1995

In my last post I referred to the Oklahoma City bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. I was in seventh grade when the bombing happened on April 19, 1995. Early that morning a man parked a moving van full of explosives outside the building and walked away. A few minutes later, BOOM! The explosives had detonated and the entire front of the building was gone. Paper was flying everywhere, people were panicking looking for friends and loved ones, others were suffering from major injuries while others were dying. The toughest part to handle was that there was a daycare in the building and children, little children, were killed and seriously injured. The most gripping picture is a fireman carrying a little child in his arms. The child lay lifeless in the fireman's arms, socks on his little feet and it looked as though the child did not have any clothes on. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for the fireman to have to carry a little body like that away from a smoldering building.

I remember going to the state soccer tournament a few months later and going to the site of the blast. The building was still in it's blown-up glory. The surrounding buildings had shrapnel all over them and the whole area was fenced off. People had started writing on the other buildings inspiring messages, teddy bears were placed up against the fences for the lil ones that were killed and people were leaving notes in the fence holes. it was a sombering experience. No matter what was going on in your life at that time you stopped to think about those who were still having to deal with the fact that there was no longer a child, wife, husband, brother, sister, mom, dad etc. in their life when they had been there so long. Now OKC has rebuilt. A few years later they were able to unveil the memorial at a park across the street from the original building with little school-type chairs for all the victims. It is a beautiful memorial that I would like to go back and see sometime in the future.

I don't think I will ever forget where I was that day when it happened. I was sitting in Mrs. Limes PE class. Since we did not have TVs in the gym none of us knew what happened. As my friends and I walked back into the main part of the building we noticed that something was different with everyone. As we walked the hallways to class we noticed that the TVs were on. We couldn't really get a good glimpse until we walked into our classes where we found pictures of the building, almost gone, and people going all over the place. The blast was so huge that people an hour away could feel the ground shake. Classes the rest of the day were spent talking about the whole ordeal. School was not happening. It became a lesson that even in Oklahoma, the place we thought was so boring, is a target for anything. I still remember sitting in Mr. Lane's World Geography class talking about what should be done to the person/persons responsible for this heinous act. He said the guy should be made to hang upside down from the building by his toes on a string then little sticks of dynamite should be placed between his fingers and toes and lit. I thought that was a little extreme, but now that I know what it was all about I would have to agree with him. It's been almost 15 years and I can still remember the events of that day. It's amazing what one even in time can bring to your remembrance. I hadn't thought about the OKC bombing since the attacks in 9-11 and this one shooting at Ft. Hood brought it all back.

I debated about writing this, but figured it would be something that my posterity can learn about. I have been remembering some of the weirdest things recently and they are all great things to remember. I really should write more of them down because I never know when these memories will stop. New goal: WRITE IT DOWN WHEN I REMEMBER IT!

Really Ft. Hood Psyco Gunman? Really?!

This just boggles my mind. A psychotic gunman pulls out two hand guns at a processing center at Ft. Hood yesterday and begins shooting up the place. Why? Because the idiot didn't want to go to Afghanistan. Killing his own people, his own soldiers because he doesn't want to do what he signed up to do. The gunman is a psychiatrist. According to his cousin he joined the military out of high school, so about 20 yrs ago, and has been in ever since. The psycho's last post was Walter Reed Army Hospital where he counseled soldiers who were returning from Iraq. Something happened there and he received failing scores on his evals and was transferred to Ft Hood about six months ago. According to many news outlets this guy had recently converted to Islam and didn't want to go to over there and kill his brother. This guy was so indoctrinated with radical Islam that he equated a soldier jumping on a grenade to save his fellow men to a suicide bomber. What?! You have got to be kidding me! Equating a person trying to save lives to a person who is trying to kill everyone around him (innocent women and children and other men) and get some type of eternal gain is rediculous! I am so outraged by this guy. I have never had such harsh feeling towards anyone in my life before. Sure there were times when I wanted my brother to be taken off the face of the earth, but what loving sister wouldn't want that for her older, psycho brother? What's really not fair (and I felt the same way after the Oklahoma City bombing) is that this chicken is still alive. He is in stable condition at a hospital when thirteen families have just lost a loved one at his expense and twenty nine other families are having to deal with loved ones in the hospital from gun shot wounds. I just hope there aren't anymore families that have to go through the grieving process any time soon. All because this guy didn't want to go to Afghanistan. I think this guy really wanted to die so he could be a martyr for his cause. What logical person would walk into a military processing center thinking he/she would come out unscathed. I think he wanted to go in there and start shooting up the place so he would get shot and die. The hardest thing to wrap around is that we have been in these wars for almost nine years now, the guy has been in the military for about 20 years, at some point in time within the last nine years he had to have had the opportunity to re-up his contract or just get out. If he was so opposed to what was going on why did he not get out? Why did he decide to stay in the military? In a time of war any soldier, no matter what position is held, can be deployed to a war area. You cannot tell me he did not understand this. If he didn't then I am worried about the rest of the mental health care professionals and if they know that they can be deployed at any time. We are still waiting for the whole story to be pieced together so we know exactly what happened, but what's out there is making this guy look like a terrorist. I am labeling this ordeal as a terrorist attack, I am. If he was really a "good American" as his cousin described him then he would have understood his duty as a soldier and not gone completely postal. If he was a Muslim his whole life and he truly understood what those teaching entail then he would never have done this. I worl with people that are Muslim. I have had deep discussions with them about religion and what they believe. The person who follows the teachings of Islam are not vengeful people, they are loving and service oriented thinking about others before themselves. Some of the teachings are a little off-kiltered, but that's because they don't have the full truth. I hope this crazy, psycho, chicken of a human being gets the justice he deserves. I hope he has to face every single member of every single family that he harmed. I also hope those families show him forgiveness. It's going to be hard, but it can be done. It's mind boggling that a place you lived and socialized and drove around when you were younger has gone through this terrible act. I still have friends whose families work and live on Ft. Hood. It's scary not knowing what is happening and it's scary to think that someone I know could have been harmed. So far all of my friends and their families are okay, no one was harmed. One of the safest places in the world was atacked viciously. You go to a military installation and there is a feeling of safety that you really can't describe. Now, I will always have a suspisious thought that at any moment someone might come through the doors and go on a rampage. Wickedness in the world is growing. Safety is hard to come by these days. My heart and prayers go out to all those affected by this senseless act of violence. May you be comforted and know that your loved ones did not die in vain. May you be blessed.

FOOD FIGHT!!!!!

Last night was the last of the very first volleyball season at SST for the middle school girls. We went out losing, but having a blast! I am so proud of my girls for all of their hard wrok this season. I look forward to what we will have next year. I was reminded of a great story when I got back to school with a couple of my girls last night. I don't remember what brought it up, but it is such a funny story I had to share it with my two girls that were left waiting for their parents. Here it is:

My freshman year of college we went to Massachusetts and New Hampshire to play UMASS and Univ of New Hampshire. We were on the road to New Hamp the morning following our loss to UMASS. We had three vans and the first van was being driven by our head coach and the other two by one of our assistant coaches and our graduate assistant. Let the games begin! All of a sudden, out of nowhere, this peach comes flying at our windshield. BTW we were in the middle of the highway, going 60 mph with traffic around us. Then the van in front of us starts slowing down and moving over to the other lane. We had no idea what was going on so our driver sped up a little to take the second van spot. As we were passing the side door of the other van flies open and we are attacked with smashed bananas and grapes. The fight was on! We pulled ahead and had a couple of people eating some fruit so we could have ammunition. Banana peels, peaches and grapes were flying all over the highway. At one point in a time a truck that was following us got a banana peel to the windshield. It was quite funny, dangerous, but funny. In the lead van, the poor girls in there were looking back and giggling then getting in trouble for doing so. The coach was in a bad mood so everyone else had to be in a bad mood. One of the lead van girls calls another player in one of our vans and tells her what is happening in their van and wants to know what is going on with us. Once the word was out, the game was on. Too bad the lead van didn't get to enjoy in the ride of a lifetime. We get into New Hamp and are on our way to the hotel in whatever little city we were in and the middle van decides to get the lead van involved. We see someone hang out of the passenger window of the van with a bag of grapes in her hand. Before we know it the grapes are on top of the lead van. The van takes off and the bag starts to fall but it was caught by the luggage rack, whew! At the next stop we see the bag slide forward. We didn't know until we got out of the van that the grapes were falling out of the bag over the windshield. As the grapes roll, the girls in the van laugh the driver is confused and has no idea what is going on. We get to our destination and the girls get out of the lead van half smiling and laughing and half with scared looks on their faces. Did we get into any trouble? No, no trouble, just dirty looks from the coach and applause from our teammates. Oooooh, what a memory! I look back on that and think about how dangerous it was, but so glad I have a food fight story to tell. Awesomeness!
I should finish grading the tests that have taken me a week to grade so I can get all my grades in by noon today. Hope this brought a smile to your face and have a wonderful day!

This weekend was so great! I had one of those real weekends where I don't do any work and I just relax, ahhhhh. The weekend started off with the Institute Fall Festival Dance. I went as the cutest nerd anyone has ever seen (sorry, no pics since I didn't get any with my camera, boo). It was alot of fun. Seeing everyone dressed up and seeing how creative people can be is so much fun. There were some pretty creative costumes too. Let's see Ugly Betty, some Star Wars characters, the Sock Monster, Roadkill, the Institute Clan, the Crazy Cat Lady, John Cena and Wendy (you now, the WENDY'S Wendy) all showed up for a night of dancing and socializing. Then it was on to Saturday. I love Saturdays simply for being able to sleep in until 9am. I never get to do that during the week so it's really nice to do on the weekend. But anyway, after waking I straightened up my place, got things in order, made some baklava (yummiliciousness), and just sat down and read and relaxed. That evening Leland and I went to his department's Fall Social. It was absolutely beautiful! The weather was perfect, the food was great, and the live jazz band was wonderful. The band was having some fun of their own while they were on their break, you could smell it :) We then went back to his place and watched the UFC fights. I started falling asleep around 11 so I decided it was time to go home and sleep for real, which means I missed the main event, and from what I hear it was a pretty darn good fight. Dang it, I always miss the good ones. Oh well, there will be others very soon. On Sunday I had Stake Conference and it was great as it always is. This conference theme was based around a talk President Monson gave about being "rescued" and how to "rescue" others. It was quite the conference with many amazing speakers. Some points of emphasis: Pray, do home/visiting teaching, love, serve, temple work, genealogy, and scripture study just to name a few topics. Then it was off to a good-bye dinner for Jenny who is moving today to Utah. All in all a great weekend with fun, food, friends and family.

Oh yeah, Mom came into town for a little bit this week. Sorry for not being able to spend more time with you. Having Mom here was a huge stress relief. Mostly because she cooked dinner and I have leftovers to last the week and she filled my fridge and cabinets. I love Mom. She always seems to know what I need, which is usually food. We also got some more stuff planned for the receptions. The EP reception is going to be beautiful and the food will be delicious. I am getting excited for that. Now the biggest thing we need to do are the invitations. Doing different invitations is a hassle. There is the sealing invite, EP reception invite and RSVP cards, and the actual announcement/invite. It's just too much sometimes. As long as we get everything finalized this week and printed the invites can go out as early as next week. Let's hope it all gets done. Then we can focus more time on the reception here in SA. Crossing the fingers seems to work pretty well right now, so everyone cross your fingers that it will all get done this week. Having Mom around really helped me out this week and I was able to relax a little more. Thanks for everything Mom, I love you! Now it's time for another week to start. Back to reality for me. Have a great one!

Have you ever had to depend upon other people that can't seem to get things straight? I am always in that position. It seems as though my time is not a precious as theirs. It frustrates the heck out of me! Sorry, but I don't stay places until 11 or 12 at night to make copies. I don't work like that. It's not my job to do that. If you say you are going to have something at 12pm for me then you need to have it at that time, not four hours later when I am on a tight enough time schedule. Sheesh! If I tell someone I am going to have something for them at a certain time I try my darndest to make sure it is there and ready to go. I may not make it 100% of the time, but I would say at least 95% of the time I am on the ball. Maybe that's being a little too confident, but more often than not I have what I say I am going to have when I say I am going to have it. This happens every week where I am told I will have everything at a certain time and it doesn't get to me until three or four hours later. I would love to have everything copied to give my athletes who have nothing to do something to do so they won't be so bored and get into trouble. That's the norm around here, sitting, waiting for others to do their stuff so you can do yours.

The bright star in my day though was being able to go to the temple tonight with my mom and Leland. It was a beautiful night outside and, of course, inside the temple. Time does really fly by and the rest of the world goes away when you are in the temple. Everything that had happened throughout the day just disappeared. The troubles with admin, the stress from Wednesday Folders, the pettiness of people went away. It was so relaxing. I really didn't want to leave, but figured the building would be closing soon and it would be a good idea to get out while I still could.

Mom is here visiting for a few days and I am so grateful for that right now. Now, my fridge will be full! I seem to always run out of food and have an empty fridge when Mom comes to visit. Funny how that always happens. When Mom sees the fridge empty she fills it for me because she thinks I'm not eating and need to eat more. I think it's funny how things work out. Plus, she is diabetic and I never know what to get for her and when I ask her she doesn't tell me, so I leave it up to her to buy what she needs. I love Mom's visits! Moms make everything so much easier and loads seem lighter when they are around. I love my mom!

That's really it for now. Not too much is happening lately. Still freaking about stuff, but I think that's going to be a norm until after January. We shall see if the freaking out stops.

Reality is setting in and I am in panic mode. 75 days until the wedding and I am starting to freak out a little bit. There is so much to do and so little time to do it in. Leland keeps telling me that everything is going to be okay, but when I plan stuff I freak. Is everything really going to be okay? I have planned big things before that have gone straight down the drain (Thanksgiving 2007, but we won't talk about that, ever). Maybe I am freaking about nothing, but the invitations haven't even been approved and printed yet, the guest list incomplete, registering hasn't even started, etc, etc, etc. So total panic mode right now. There really isn't anything anyone can do to help either. I am now starting to feel the stress that just about every bride goes through. Not liking it too much.
On the other hand, the school's high school volleyball team won their first game in history! Finally! It's the breakthrough that was needed and it came at the perfect time. Right before a week of no games and hard core training. The middle school are so close to their first win, but just can't seem to get over that mountain. They are getting closer to the peak, but it's just out of reach right now. There are only two MS games left, so they gotta get going. High school has three or four weeks left so they have a little more time to get some more success under their belts and know what it feels like. Congrats to them on their hard work and perserverance, it has finally paid off!

General Conference was this past weekend. Have I ever mentioned how much I love General Conference? It's such an uplifting weekend. Conference always seems to come at the perfect time. So what if it's always been the first weekend in April and October? It still comes at the perfect time. Messages about family, keeping the commandments, and testimonies of the restoration of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, and our Savior Jesus Christ were wonderful to listen to and I know my testimony has grown a little from what was said. Some things I paid a little more attention to than I would have in the past. There were some things that I would usually not pay attention to just because I thought that at that time in my life they weren't all that important. Boy, am I wrong when it comes to that. Everything the leaders of the church talk about is important in my life. Even if I am not going through with what is being talked about, I will go through those things at some point my life and need to know what's up and what to do. The gentle guiding counsel of the leaders of the church remind me of how true The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints really is. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life and what it has taught me. I know that Thomas S. Monson is prophet called by God to lead and direct His people here on the earth. General Conference just ROCKS!
The whole weekend was great. Listening to conference and, as usual, falling asleep to some parts was the relaxation I needed to energize me for the week ahead. I also had the wonderful opportunity to actually talk (on the phone) with my future mother-in-law. She's funny, and oh so cute. I could hear the happiness and excitement in her voice. I won't be able to meet her in person until his whole family comes a few days before the wedding, but phone calls and facebook work too. It was a fantastic weekend and I look forward to many more weekends like that. I don't see any in my immediate future, but there will be more weekends like that, I know it! Time to get things ready for work, Peace out!

It's Official!

I am now officially engaged! Everything happened last night and I was contemplating writing this last night, but I figured sleep was a little more important at that time. Here's the story:

One of my friends comes into town periodically and when she does we go to Alamo Cafe for dinner. Since I am so busy and never know when I am getting off work we went after Institute last night. Really late for me to eat, but I was starving so I didn't care. It's unusual that we let boys in on our girl's dinner, but Leland was allowed to come eat with us. We are eating and Leland says that tonight is a great night for a walk. This sent some flags up because I am the one that usually brings up the idea of going to La Cantera and walking around, so I was a little suspicious at this point. It's also a Wednesday night and we normally don't do anything on that night since it's Insitute and we are hanging out with friends afterwards. Anyway, we go for our walk around La Cantera and we head up the stairs of the new part and sit on a bench in the perfect location with the breeze going and complete peace. The music was on and we were just relaxing. A few kisses later, he reaches into his pocket gets on one knee and pops the question. I said, of course and we went back to the evening. He even had a photog there for the moments after. How neat is that? You usually don't have anyone there right after to get the expressions and stuff, so it was something that was unique and I loved it. So there's the story. Nothing flashy, nothing big, just simple and sweet. Just the way I like it.
Oh, the big day will be December 29, 2009. Yikes! That's only three months away. Whew!

What a Great Day!

Yesterday was an amazing day! I finally went through the temple to receive my endowments. It's such a cool experience. There is really no way to describe it, besides awesomely amazing. The temple is absolutely beautiful. It's been a while since I have been in the SA Temple (the open house was the last time I was actually in the SA Temple) and I love the beauty of it all. The peace and comfort that surrounds you is truly a blessing and you know that you are in the Lord's house. Mom and Dad were able to be there, which made the day even better. It seems as though Dad has gotten over everything, almost. It was great to be able to sit and talk to him and know that he still loves me and is excited about the things going on in my life right now. Dad is definitely stressed, but I think being in the temple really helped him relax a little bit. Also, knowing that I am okay and happy with my decision helps him understand a little more as well. I was so stressed all week about Dad coming and what it was going to be like talking to him after not talking to him for almost three months. I made it out to be so much worse in my mind. It was great being with my parents in the temple and having them experience everything with me. Leland was also there, which made me feel more relaxed. I always feel so much better when I see him. My troubles, nerves and negativity seems to disappear when I see him. He is really the calm in my stormy life right now. No matter what happens in my day I know that I can turn to him and everything will be okay. Seeing him sitting next to my dad and watching my parents interact with him made me feel 100% comfortable with my decisions. Yesterday was the best day of life, well, so far. There is more joy and happiness to come and I can't wait for it!

I figure

while I have a few minutes break today I ought to write a little something. Things are crazy busy as usual. We had our first Volleyball game last Thursday. It was a great game! The first set the girls were a bit scared. The looks on their faces showed all their emotions. We lost the first set 25-15. The second set was amazing though. We were down by about ten and all of a sudden the comeback was on! There were some amazing plays that kept them in the game and we ended up winning the second set. The third set was a bit shaky. We were down and just as we started the comeback, one of our student fans started chanting S-S-T, S-S-T. . . which, of course, got into our servers head and messed everything up. I am so proud of the girls for giving it their all and doing the best they could with only five practices under their belts before the game. I only see them improving and doing better each game. They have the heart and willingness to do it, I think they will be fabulous!

On Tuesday night Leland and I went to the George Strait "For the love of kids and Harley's" charity auction and a good ole Texas Country concert. It was a blast! George Strait auctioned off his hat and boots to get more money for some items. He also auctioned off 4 front row tickets to any date of his concert series next year and backstage passes. That went for more than a one week stay in an exclusive Costa Rican House on the beach, everything included. I would rather take the house on the beach than a concert. Afterwards there was a little concert of some of the best Texas Country singers I have ever heard. It was a lot fun and the best part, it was all free for both of us. Leland had won tickets from a local radio station for the whole thing. It's nice having a man that wins things like that, because everyone knows I don't have that kind of luck.

The rest of the week is really a blur. I am so tired at the end of the day that I don't know what is going on from day to day unless it's really special and amazing. This week there are three volleyball games since middle school starts this week, a school dance, Mom and Dad coming to town, a parent picnic to set up for, and did I mention I will be going through the temple to receive my endowments on Saturday? Yeah, so it's another busy week ahead. No rest for the weary sounds about right right now. The old saying, "I will rest when I'm dead" seems true at this point in time. I love being busy and getting things done. It's tough and I complain, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I always tell myself that I will work to the day I die, like my Grandpa Smith. I have no regrets and everything I am doing is only to better me and help me improve, and that's the best thing about it.

So Much to Say

It has been a really long time since I have been on here, but I have good reasons. We'll get to that later though.

Today Barack Obama addressed all kids and teachers in school. It was funny listening to his words. He said EXACTLY what I have been telling my students for the past three years and three weeks. If only the kiddos were really listening. You know Obama feels great about himself and what he said today, but it's nothing new. Every teacher has been saying that throughout the years. I hope some of my kiddos were listening, but with the bored faces and yawns that I saw, not a lot got through.

This school year is only in the third week and it's absolutely bonkers! I am at work 12-13 hours a day and it's draining. Not only am I teaching five to seven class periods a day (out of seven class periods) I am a "junior" administrator, school athletics coordinator/director, assistant volleyball coach, head girl's basketball coach, and head girl's soccer coach. It's been a whirlwind of events. The parts of my administratorship are all the things the other admins don't want to do or think they are too busy to do. Wednesday folder is a nightmare. I like to try to get things done early, but it's so hard when you have to depend upon other people. Grrrrr! Today I left my office at 7:30am to talk to admins and parents and other teachers. I went back to my office at 12:05pm to check e-mails and do a little business (lunch was non-existent and will be the rest of the year), then I was back out of my office until 5:oo pm when I sat down to work on Wed folder stuff. During that time a parent of a new volleyball player came in to talk to me. Once that parent left, another parent came in. Then it was off to the copier to print about 2000 copies and separate them into the classes. I think I left the school at about 7:00pm. That seems to be a normal day for me these days. Three weeks in and things still have not calmed down, nor do I think, they will. That's one reason and the biggest reason I haven't been keeping up with this thing.

A lot has happened in my personal life as well. It has really been a blessing to have started dating this wonderful man that I am now with. I always told myself I would never be that girl that missed a boy, or couldn't wait to see him, or be all cuddly and, well, you get it. I never thought that would be me, and lo and behold, it has happened. I have fallen in love with this man and can't see my life without him. He has become my best friend. I find myself thinking about him and hoping he is doing okay throughout the day. I mean, I am totally in love! His well-being has really become a priority in my life. When I see him or talk to him all my troubles seem to go away. I could probably go on, but I won't. Anyway, last night we were sitting on my couch talking and I took a leap of faith. So he has already told me that he can't see his life without me in it and all that jazz, but he said that three or four weeks ago. As we were sitting there I told him that even though it has taken me a while to get to this point that I can't see my life without him. So now it's not a matter of if, but when. Yes, that one word you are thinking of, marriage, is in the future. How near in the future, not quite sure, but it is in the future. It was funny talking to him and finding out that this past fast Sunday we were both fasting about the same thing and didn't even discuss it. How perfectly timed is that? I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world right now. Could there be another person out there better suited for me that treats me like a true daughter of a loving Heavenly Father? Not in my book. Heavenly Father knows exactly when we need what we need the most. I am so grateful for this major blessing in my life. It couldn't have come at a better time, yet again proving how well my Heavenly Father knows me.
The surprising thing to me was when I told my mom all this she already knew. I feel like everyone else knew before I did. I called her and told her and she said, "I knew it". I then asked her the how and when questions. Her reply, "I was going to finish paying off my car, but decided to put the money into savings because the thought of a wedding came to mind." Yes, my wedding. When did Mom know? "I have known since January." What, that long?! I wasn't even dating anyone nor was there the thought of dating anyone. At that time I was looking for jobs in other cities and had even thought of other states. I mean, gosh Mom, what are you psychic or something? Mom was even a voice a reason about thinking about possible dates. When Leland and I were talking he pretty much left it up to me to pick a date and to me it's either December or March since that's when my school breaks are. Mom, the voice of reason reminded me about the receptions. Seeing that we both have tons of friends in SA, I have tons of friends and family friends in EP and he in UT we may have three receptions or open houses to do. It's crazy! I never really thought about that seriously. That's something to discuss. If we do have three to do then December is the logical choice, but if there is maybe only two then March is the better choice. My brain hurts from all this thinking! Maybe it's time for bed. That's another reason why it's been so long since I last wrote. Everything happens in the Lord's time, but man, everything seems to be happening at once. BUT, I am really happy and know that life is good.

School's in Session

Another school year is upon us! Yes, that is an exclamation mark at the end of the sentence. I am excited for this school year. I will be busier than ever with all the added administrative and athletic duties that I will perform, but I am really looking forward to it. I have this renewed energy after these past couple of days of in-services. Renewed after in-services? Yes! Instead of the normal sit down and listen to stuff that I shouldn't have to listen to for the fourth year in a row, I actually attended good workshops and things that are of use to me. I truly enjoyed an educational in-service. How many teachers do you know that can say that?
So one of the sessions today was titled: The 411 on Drugs, Violence, and Teen Relationships. I learned so much about how and where kids hide drugs, alcohol and weapons from people. I am now suspicious of every can of soda, bottle of water, pringles canister, lipstick tube, pair of fake dirty underwear, skater shoes and other everyday products we think are normal. I am also now highly suspicious of energy drinks (aka Alcopops). Some of the energy drink companies (ie Monster, RockStar, Sparks) have upwards of 10% alcohol in their energy drinks. Some of those drinks will have an alcohol content that equals that of 8-10 shots of whiskey and 18-32 cans of diet Pepsi. Due to the caffeine, a person that drinks one of those drinks will not have the appearance of being drunk. Someone could actually get alcohol poisoning from drinking one of those and not even know it. It's scary. Kids are drinking all kinds of energy drinks and parents have no idea what is in those drinks and let them buy them. Granted, not all energy drinks contain alcohol, but those things are bad for you anyway with the amounts of sugar and caffeine in them. It was quite an enlightening class. I wish we had more time in that workshop to get all the info. That guy really needs to come and talk to parents about this stuff. All this information helps me with my health classes now. I can do a pretty darn good lesson on drugs, alcohol, and teen relationships.
These past two days have really sparked my enthusiasm for this school year. It's going to be a great one!

Whoa! Did I Really Say That?

I have debated about whether or not I should share this or not, but I decided, "What the heck, this is part of my life and I probably should share it". I am now in a relationship. That is really weird for me to say since I am not a very public person about all this stuff. I never thought I would say that at this point in my life. I have become so independent that having someone else in my life is a little tough to adjust to, but it's a whole lotta fun too. I have to give a big thank you to all of the people who have helped this come about, you know who you are. Thank you, you rock! It's really nice to be with someone that makes you feel secure and like you are the most important person in the room. I have never felt so comfortable with someone besides my family. Things have been really good recently and I don't want it to end.

Amazing

You are amazing! How often do we tell ourselves that simple little phrase? I feel like Staurt Smalley right now, "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And dog gone it. . . people like me!" So when you are feeling a little down and out, remember how amazing you are. It's the little things that make you amazing. You are amazing!

Yesterday Dad had his eye surgery and everything went well. Mom sent me a picture of him. My only comment, "Arrrrrrgh!" That's right, Dad is a pirate, for the time being anyway. Every eye surge comes with a nifty little pirate eye patch. I always make fun of him for it. Now he will be able to see out of his left eye and be a little safer of a driver, especially at night. Maybe now I can trust him behind the wheel a little more.
I also had some bad news with all this good news. Remember back in March when Mom had a surge to remove a tumor from her parathyroid? Well, Mom has had the same symptoms she had before the surge and her hormone levels have not balanced out to this day. Mom did a lot of research online about everything and talked to her doctor about it. She found that when you have had the ectomy of a tumor (like that medical jargon don't ya?) and you still have problems then there could still be a tumor there. Even though all the tests were clear of any tumors the research suggested that there could be a lot of false negatives with the testing. Mom's doc confirmed what she had researched and told her that they would wait until October to do more testing and see where her levels are at that time. If they still are not down then she will have another surge. This really is the year for Gilmore surges. I have had one, Daddio has had two and is still in need of another, and Madre is going to have a second. When it rains, it pours.
Speaking of rain... SA has not had any rain! Okay, there has been a little, but not enough to really make a difference. On top of that, SA has had the hottest July in history and is expected to break the most summer days of 100+ temps for the summer. Two more days and that record should be broken. The kicker, no rain in sight, even into August and temps will continue to be 100+ for the next really long while. Crazy times with this weather!
So I now am officially totally moved into my new place. All the pictures are on the walls, clothes are on hangers, dishes have been used for actual cooking, the living room is complete and I have a new tv. I am so excited and relieved to finally be done with it all! No more moving for at least another year. Whew!
About three more weeks and I will be back to work. I am always excited to get back to work and get back into the swing of things. I feel so weird when I am not on a normal working pattern. I miss work. I complain about a lot of stuff that happenes at work, but who doesn't? I really do love what I do and love the opportunities I have to grow and be better at what I do. What does this year have in store for me? No idea, but I can't wait to find out!

Hodge Podge

Let's see what has happened lately. I moved into my new apartment and I love it! It is so much more comfortable than my last place. I even have enough space to get the matching recliner to my couch. I finally have a complete living room! It looks so much better when it has a completed look to it. It makes me smile every time I walk into the room =0). All I have to do is hang one more picture and I will be completely moved in. I was going to do that on Saturday, but I just didn't have the energy after getting home really late the night before from my indoor game then waking up early to run a 5k and helping at the Pioneer Celebration the West Stake was having and grocery shopping. It was a really full Saturday and I was so happy when I finally went to bed and was able to rest my body. Sleep is good!
Dad still isn't talking to me, but I can handle it. He needs time and I will give him all the time he needs. Mom did tell me that he is having eye surgery on the 27th. He also found out that he has an eye disease that causes him to get cataracts frequently. He will have this one removed on the 27th then hopefully he won't have another one for a while. They did say the disease was a good thing for his right eye. About ten years ago Dad had his first cataract surgery and the surgeon messed up and ended up causing his retina to tear. He had a couple of surgeries to fix that and one of them he had to have a buckle placed around his eye. The doc told him that because of this disease the buckle has adhered beautifully and is very strong around his eye so they do not expect any problems with it. Thats a good. Knowing me, I found humor in all of this. Stay with me, now. You know how people say pets kinda mimic their owners? Well here's the humor. My dad fell in love with this gorgeous German Shepard from Animal Rescue and adopted her. She has some joint problems (hip, knee, etc) and Dad has joint problems (knees, back, etc). Hallie (the dog) had a common big dog skin disorder, Dad was diagnosed with a common skin cancer earlier this year (it was benign and nothing to fear). This is the kicker, pure bred German Shepards will commonly get an eye disease called canine pannis. It's a disease where the eye's immune system and the body's immune system start fighting each other and this cloud (like a cataract) begins to cover the eye, Dad has an eye disease that causes the cataracts to form. Hence, the humor in it all. Some people may not find that funny, but I think it's so funny.
There are things that happen everyday that I think I should blog about, but then I forget about them by time I get a chance to write, darn it!
I love talking with friends. I find out so many interesting things about them and learn so much about what makes them tick and what they really think and feel. I was talking with a friend tonight and we were talking about boys and their stupidity sometimes. The one thing that I think is so important to to understand out of the many things we talked about is that it's all about the small things when it comes to showing people that you care. We were talking about this in the context of dating and relationships, but it goes such a long way even with your friends and strangers you meet everyday. When you remember something someone told you about their week and you ask them about it. Just being able to listen goes such a long way. An offer of help even if the person doesn't use it. A little smile, a glance, a gesture of love and friendship. It's not the big things that really make us happy and really show that people care, it's the small things. Sometimes, though, we miss the small things because we are so focused on the big. Just remember the small things go a long way in showing that you care. Take the time to do the simple things. I know I will definately work harder on that. It's all the small things.

What is Happening Here?!

What is going on with the United States today? I am sitting here listening to the Glenn Beck show on Fox News and agreeing with everything he is saying. I am very concerned about the direction of the country thus far. I was wary of Barack Obama during all the elections. I felt as though he was hiding something. During the campaign he was not as far left liberal as he has turned out to be. He had a hidden agenda. He wanted the American people to like him and think that he wasn't such an idealogue. He has really shocked the country and started to show his true colors. He promised that the national unemployment rate would not increase passed 8%, it is getting closer and closer to 10% everyday. The economy is tanking and the governement is taking control of it. Has this helped any? Of course not. the 787 BILLION dollar stimulus has not helped anyone. They are now thinking of another stimulus. With what money?! I have not seen more people in houses, paying off credit card bills, etc. I have not seen companies making more money and increseing profits like it was suppose to do. I haven't seen small businesses take off and create more revenue. What have I seen? Companies closing, people losing their jobs, more and more families in line at the food banks, more people begging for money at the street corners, sky-rocketing gas prices, and overall misery among the American people. Now, Obama wants to pass this, like 3,000 page, healthcare bill (who can really read and fully understand 3,000 pages of anything in just a couple of weeks?). That would guarantee every American would have affordable healthcare. Where is the money to support this going to come from? The propsal is that the "rich" will pay for it all. Why should the "rich" pay for someone else's healthcare? The "rich" have been working their tails off to get where they are. They didn't just sit back and say, "I'm going to let someone else make the money for me". The rich have earned every dollar they have. They understand that hard work gets you where you need to be and that laziness does nothing for you. The "rich" are going to pay for healthcare for someone who wants to sit on the couch all day eating bon bons and fast food. They are going to have to pay for healthcare for someone who quite frankly doesn't care about their own health to get out and do something about it. Once the "rich" are tapped out whose going to foot the bill next? Someone like me. People who are barely making enough to get by as it is. People who are working hard to keep a modest apartment and food on the table as as well as pay for all the other bills. If my taxes go up because of this healthcare bill I don't know what I will have to do next. It's getting ridiculous out there and the government doesn't care what it is really doing to the American people. We are transitioning to an almost fascist socialist country. I know fascism is basically a dictatorship but I said almost fascist. It's out of hand. What ever happened to checks and balances? Our Founding Fathers are rolling in their graves right now to see what has happened to the country they fought so hard for. What is going to save this nation? The American people getting their heads out of the sand and taking a stand! Voice your concerns. Tell your representatives that if they do not vote to your liking they will no longer have a job and follow through on the promise and go out and vote that person out. Stand up for what is right. Do what is right. Make a change! There is so much here to talk about but I don't want to get too political and go off the deep end. One other thing love about this government? The leaders of our nation are horrible examples. The new surgeon general is considered obese and she is going to tell us how to eat right, exercise, and so forth. The person who is over the financial sector didn't even pay his taxes. Just about every other nominated person for amy high ranking position has a shady past and has tried to skip out on what the rest of us are doing so we don't get put in jail. Maybe if I don't do my taxes, and become morbidly obese, and break every other law out there I could be in a high ranking government position. How can I trust someone to take care of my health, finances and safety if those people can't do it for themselves? I just turned down a job that I knew I was not qualified for but could have had it in less then a heartbeat if I wanted it and started on my legacy in teaching and coaching. Good thing I have some values, morals and standards. Get a clue Barack. Get a clue.

Just What I Thought Would Happen

So I made the decision to not accept the job in EP. I told Dad this morning and he is still mad as all else at me for waiting so long. I thought the first thing he would say was "Okay, if that is what you really want then I support you." The total opposite happened. "Okay, that puts me in a really bad spot now." What?! I was a little taken aback by that answer. About 45 minutes later after dropping Dad at the apartment so I could go to the gym he says, "I want to talk about this when you get home." I know I burned some bridges with people. I am ready to accept the consequences for this decision. I didn't have to have a thirty minute lecture about it all. I explained my side of everything and there was still that question in his mind that he just couldn't understand why. It was so clear that this is what I wanted a month ago, but something happened and things started changing. I told him that I wasn't happy in EP anymore. It's great to visit, but I could not live there. This last trip really made that clear to me. Now, Dad is not talking to me, which I expected to happen since he has done that every time I have made a decision he doesn't like, and I have to call and smooth things over for him with his principal and the assistant athletics director. I hope that is easier than what Dad has described it to be. I just kinda blind-sided Dad and I fear that it will be taken out on him with his principal who takes everything very personally. I hope I can explain it to her and still be able to keep my dad's credibility in tact.

What To Do, What To Do?

So I have a really big decision to make. WHile I was visiting my family in EP I went on an interview for a new job. The day before I already told my self there is no way I was going to get a new job. Well, the next day an opening became available and I received a call about 30 minutes before the end of the day. AS I was sitting in the interview I felt awsome about it. Then I heard what the position was, Math Inclusion Co-Teacher. Co-teaching wouldn't be bad, but the whole math thing just doesn't work. I would screw those kids up even more than what they already are. I got home and less than five minutes after that I received a call saying the job was mone if I wanted it. Now my dad is making plans to move all my stuff this week and I just don't feel comfortable taking the position. It is a position that I know I am not qualified for and I know the only reason I got it was because the principal of my dad's school pushed it so much. If I take this job it means that I will also be coaching soccer. As I have been thinking more and more about it, I don't think I can do it. I don't think I could move back home at this point. I know it will save me tons and tons of money and it would pay about $10,000 more than what I am making now, but going back home living with my family, listening to Mom and Dad fight all the time, leaving an amazing Institute program, going to a ward where it is basically 18 year olds and no social scene just doesn't seem right for me. The problem I am having is tealling my dad. I know he is going to combat what I say with the whole argument, "If you don't take this it's going to be a slap in the face to all the people who worked so hard to get you in there". I have to be honest in my dealing with others. I think people will respect me more if I am honest. If I burn a few bridges it may be something I have to do. Six months ago I was all about leaving to start my coaching career, but the past week I spent at home with my family and doing what I would do every summer, I just didn't have the excitement that should come with getting a new job. I know when I am genuinely excited, but this doesn't excite me. It doesn't excite me to work with my dad. That sounds bad, but all he talks about is his team and what he is going to need to do for the next year. It's every day, almost every conversation. Sometimes I feel like I can't talk to him without his team coming up. I like to seperate my work life and the rest of my life. I tell stories about my students, but that's not the only thing I talk about. The more I weighs the pros and cons the more I realize I can't take the position. This is the hardest decision I have to make. I know have to tell my dad and I know it is going to break his heart and send him into an anger/depression spiral (it really won't, but I know he won't be happy and probably won't talk to me for a few weeks) but I cannot in good conscience take this job. I just hope all invested parties understand where I am coming from.
Yes, I have prayed about it. I actually prayed for confirmation on taking the job, but I didn't get that "you should really take this job" feeling. I have that confusion (that stupor of thought) that is talked about in Doctrine and Covenants Section 9. I am usually pretty sure when it comes to the decisions in my life. When I make the decision I know for sure that it is the best thing for me. This is the first time that I have had that confusion. It's just a little shock to my system. I know what I have to do and just have to buckle down and do it and take the consequences.

HOT! HOT! HOT! and Some Randomness

I love Texas and all it throws at me, but are we serious with this heat? It's midnight and it's still in the 90's right now. The past two weeks or so it has been in the 98-103 range. I can understand this type of weather in July and August, but June? I found out tonight that the Hill Country Stake will be doing a stake-wide fast for rain on the next Fast Sunday. If we don't get any rain soon we will be placed in stage 3 water restrictions. San Antonio has been in an extreme drought for a very, very long time. I don't think there is anything worse than extreme, but if there was, that would be us right now. As much as I don't like rain, especially after I wash my car, it is so badly needed and I would be more than happy to have it rain after I wash my car. My electric bill is going to be so sky high this month. I don't even want to think about it.

I am exactly one week away from moving into my new place and my July 1 deadline for new job acceptance. It is really going to hoover if I get a call with a job offer after I sign my lease and have to turn it down especially with all the people that have been pulling for me and working their contacts to get me into one of the schools. If I get a call before Wednesday next week then that's what I will be doing, but with the closing dates of the jobs being either tomorrow or next week, I don't see that happening. Sometimes, though, I think my dad wants this more than me. He's been trying to get me to move back to EP for the past two years since I finished my master's. I can tell things have been hard for him because he calls me constantly. For example, today I was studying at Borders for my Institute class and Dad called to tell me something that he forgot to tell me in our hour long conversation the night before and we ended up talking for an hour before he had to take another call. After that call he called me back and talked for another fifteen minutes. I know he misses me and wants the best for me, but sometimes I think he forgets that I am no longer that little red-headed girl that would sit on his lap and hide my head during the scary parts of the movie. His little girl is all grown up and I think it's hard for him to let go. Dad's will be Dad's and will always want the best for their little girls and, of course, always see them as that little girl who would run to him when he arrived home after work, throw her arms around him, and spend the rest of the evening in his lap watching whatever game was on.

It's literally the middle of the night and I cannot seem to feel tired. This seems to be a recurring theme when I don't have to go to work the next day. Last night I even went to bed early and when I rolled over to look at the clock it was 2:30am and I still have not fallen asleep. It drives me crazy when I can't fall asleep. I have tried everything I can to try to fall asleep, but I just can't do it. Grrrrrrr!

When do you just let go and put your trust in someone else? I have done a lot of soul searching lately and have found that I have trust issues. I seem to have built this wall that is almost impossible for people to get around, get over, or tear down. I have a hard time trusting others. I use to be one of the most trusting people in the world, then high school hit and it all went away. There were so many things that happened starting in high school and extending into college that I feel as though I can't take anything people tell me as true. It's hard for me to believe that I am how people describe me. I will usually say thanks or make a joke about something when I am told something but underneath it all, I have a hard time believing it. I was told so many lies and had so many pranks, tricks, etc pulled on me that it's hard for me to see others as being genuine. How do I overcome that? How can I start to tear down those walls? I don't have an answer and wish I did.

This was a lot of stuff to talk about in one night, but I think I am actually starting to feel a little tired. So with that I say so long, farewell, good night!

One step closer to having everything I need to be an administrator. This past week I started my ILD (Instructional Leadership Development/PDAS (Professional Development and Appraisal System) Training. It's a lot of work for one week. I was able to earn 36 1/2 CEU's in one week. I honestly thought I was going to be bored to tears. Well, there were no tears, but there was a ton of boredom. There were so many things a that were repetitive that if if they weren't repetitive then the classes would be three days instead of five. We also went really slow with the material. There was review of what I did in my master's classes that would take up an hour of time. Most of the people in the class are in the last semester of their admin degrees and everyone else in the class was either working closely with their administrators or in an administrative internship within their districts so the review, I felt, was unnecessary. All in all I learned more about evaluation and how to check if lesson plans and lessons being presented are in alignment with school, district and state curriculum, if tests are up to par or to far above the teaching in the class and if a teacher is really bringing their students to the higher order thinking of Bloom's and Erikson's Taxonomies. I am feeling a little more comfortable with evaluating teachers and their lessons even though I am not well-versed in their subject content.
What else this week? Institute is, as always, and incredible experience. I don't know what I would do without it. I have been taking institute classes since I was 18 and have learned so much from them. There are a lot of people out there that don't attend institute because they seem to think that every class is the exact same. Well, to those people, I have taken Book of Mormon classes at least three times and there is not one thing that was a repeat. The great thing about these classes is that there is no script to follow, the teachers really are inspired by the Spirit to fit the needs of the classes they teach. I am grateful for the the institute program and the things it has taught me throughout these past nine years. It has been a great blessing in my life.
I also re-realized that those big parties that everyone gets invited to aren't my thing. Last year I started going to more parties and thought I could get use to them, but after last night, I remembered why I don't like them. I really am more of a small group intimate setting type of person. I like dinners with close friends or sitting at the ice cream place or cafe in great discussion with others. I am all about fun times with great friends in the right setting for me.
All-in-all, this week was pretty uneventful. It's nice to not be surrounded by drama all the time. I can always go for the uneventful.

Texas Folklife Festival

Yesterday I went to the Texas Folklife Festival. I am so upset though because I forgot my camera, so no pics, darn! I still had fun though. The Texas Folklife Festival basically takes everything that went into creating this great state of Texas and the many different cultures. The food was, of course, amazing and the entertainment was great. I spent a lot of time at the Hawaiian/South Pacific/Asia area. That group has the best entertainment and food, so it was the logical choice for me. I went to that area a couple of years ago when my mom was in town and we spent most of the night there sitting on the grassy hill and watching the dancers. There is a group that I absolutely love. They are from the Lion's Dance Club. It is basically all Chinese traditional dancing and martial arts exhibits. There was this boy that is 8 yrs old and he is already an international gold medalist in martial arts. This kid has been training since he was 4 yrs old and is so awesome! He trains with a ShaoLin Monk from ShaoLin China. He has won 9 international gold medals and 8 international silver gold medals and has travelled all over the world for his competitions. He blew me away with his speed, agility, and overall skill. The Lion Dancers were a lot of fun to watch too. They have the most fun while performing. The costumes are beautiful (this where having a camera would have come in quite handy) and the movements are fun to watch.
I also bought this beautiful wall hanging of the Texas flag. I have been in Texas for like fifteen years now and I don't have anything that is truly Texas so I had to get something. It's a really great hanging that I am thinking of turning into a key hook if I can. I am excited about this little purchase.
Some other things you will find at the festival are live music, dancing, arts, crafts, and Irish, Pakistani, Guamanian, Filipino, Welsh, German, Greek, Indian, and so many other stands. If you have not been go next year. It's a fun filled family event. The best thing about it, even though there are beer and other alcohol stands around the lines are not around the corner for those beverages. The longest lines are the Hawaiian Shaved Ice and sno-cone stands. It's not a cheap event, but it's well worth the $12 entrance fee. There is so much stuff to do that you get your money's worth. The Texas Folklife Festival is an event that gets better as the years go by. If you have not been, get ready for next year. It's a blast!

What To Do

I love being able to have all this time during the day off, but I get really bored really easy. I go to the gym do my workout for and hour or two depending on what I do then I don't know what to do with myself the rest of the day. Yesterday I decided to go to Border's and read a book that I bought a couple of weeks ago. I could only do that for about an hour and half before I was ready to go do something else. Then I walked around the Quarry for a little bit and stopped in Whole Foods Market to look around and waste time before FHE started. I bought a couple of things I needed for the evening and left. I then went to FHE and had some great fun playing BINGO at Brighton Gardens Retirement Center. The ladies there are great! It seems as though everyone there loved being there and playing.
This morning I went to the gym and completely raked out my back. For the past few months my back has been feeling really good and I finally realized why. I have not been doing any legs presses and my back is great. Today I decided to do leg presses since it had been a while since doing them and on the past set I felt my lower back go. Now I am having a hard time bending to pick things up and getting off the couch. Now I know, no more leg press. I will have to stick to the squat and lunge variations, no more machines. Hopefully my back starts to feel better tomorrow. We shall see. The rest of the day I have no plans. Which means sitting here updating stuff. At least next week will be a little better with my ILD classes starting. I love my time off, but I can only handle so much.

Cute Shoes

Here's the pics of the really cute shoes I promised to put up a month ago...

Schools Out For Summer!

YAY! Schools out for summer! In a few hours at least. This year has been a trying one. With Having PE classes in a cafeteria with two pillars in the middle of it and tables on the side was quite an experience. Also, having no equipment to use made things a little more difficult. I thought I had it rough when I was outside in the blazing hot Texas sun everyday with only a concrete slab with two basketball goals and a sharp rock-infested area to play on. That was paradise compared to the cafeteria. I find it funny when teachers at other schools complain about having to share a grassy area the size of a football field with another class. At least they have grass so kids don't fall and split open their heads (which happened my first year. We now affectionately call that kid Staple Head b/c he got 6 staples in his head that day. Don't worry, he thinks the name is pretty awesome. I think it's in his email addy.) That makes me so much more grateful for what I have, a gym. I was able to actually take a class in there yesterday. Of course, now everyone wants to have time in there before the end of the day today. Oh! This is the funniest thing that happened yesterday with the gym. I am suppose to be the person in charge of scheduling the gym. I see a group of kids going into the gym. They, nor anyone else for that matter, had permission or scheduled in time to be in there. I ask them who gave them permission to be in there. They told me one of the AP's gave permission. Makes me mad that the people who are telling me that anyone who uses the gym must be scheduled to use it doesn't take the lead and schedule the use. Grrrrr. So then I see a teacher with a plate of food and a bottle of Sprite about to walk in. I tell him no food or drinks in the gym. He walks in anyway and sits there eating his food and drinking his Sprite. Do we not understand what is meant by, "NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THE GYM"? Well, maybe he doesn't since I have never heard him speak and every time I talk to him he looks at me funny like he doesn't understand anything. Maybe he really doesn't understand English. Grrrrrr. You expect kids to follow the rules, yet the people that should be the examples and show them how to follow the rules, well, they don't.
I am really excited for summer. I will be taking a couple of classes that last about two weeks and getting some much needed help in getting more stuff added to my principal certification. Hopefully, this will make me a little more marketable. I will also be going to visit my family for a week or so then moving. I will either move into a great apartment with washer/dryer and about 200 more square feet for only $25 more per month, or move to El Paso. I am not sure which one will happen but July 1 is the drop-dead day. Then I can relax and try to get things going for the school year and really get serious about my workouts. Maybe I will start doing some two-a-days like when I was in college. That will really help me out and get me fit. Man, I am so so excited for summer! I can't wait to see what these following months have in store for me.

Things Are Going

Things are going strong. It is the last week of work before summer sets in and I am ecstatic! I can't wait to be able to workout in the mid-mornings, stay up late, go out with friends and not have to worry about being up at 5 freaking 30 in the a.m., and get on a regular eating schedule. This past year I was on a "no-pizza" diet. I have gone a full year without pizza, can you believe it?! Pizza was a staple in my diet for years. Every Friday was pizza night at Pizza Factory when I was in EP, it became my back-up when I was too lazy to cook something, and I had a slice or two for every event at the school with the students. It made up the bulk of my diet. A year without and I really don't miss it. Will I continue the no pizza craze? No, I just won't eat some types of pizza. I will start making my own pizzas so I can control what goes into the crust and and on top. The pizza ban is no more, but I will be more careful about how often and what kinds of pizza I eat.
My new ban, fast food. For real, I'm serious. This has been a real problem the past few years. Due to my schedule and me not liking to eat after 7pm I routinely stop at Wendy's or Taco Cabana or Sonic for dinner. I don't order the fattest, nastiest things on the menu, but it's still fast food and I need to stop the addiction. This means I will really have to plan my meals and make sure everything is in order before I leave my house. Thankfully I have the summer to get use to this new way of doing things. Who knows what this is going to be like, but it's worth a shot. If I can make it through this then I can make it through anything! Well, almost anything.
More news on the career front. My dad called me Friday afternoon after he was finished at work and made some interesting comments. The principal at his school came to him telling him about a SPED position that is more than likely (meaning a 100%) chance of opening up this summer. To work at his school would be a great blessing. He also said he was getting ready to do the evaluation of his current assistant coach. I know what she is like and what she does, so I know the eval did not go all that great. He is giving her some ultimatums and if she can't comply then she will be gone as the assistant and that opens the door for me to come and take that place. That is, of course, unless someone in the district has some friend that is looking to get into that school and wants a position like that. There is another possibility on the job front. Here's the thing, and I have been doing a lot of thinking about this and I mean a lot. While it would be great to have a job opportunity like that would I really want to move back home? Is this just a way for Dad to try to get me back home so he has someone to talk to about soccer and give him ideas and help him out? Is this really a situation I want to be in? Am I ready for the possible backlash about nepotism in the hiring process? Would my talents be best utilized here? Do I want to leave people who have been a great influence in my life and have made me a better person? Have I stopped progressing here in SA? Do I really need to leave? I guess a lot of this is depending upon a few things. First, what will I be offered at my current place of employment? I will not find out until tomorrow at 10am. Second, will I be contacted about any of the positions I am going for before July 1st? Will it really benefit me to leave? There is so much uncertainty, but at least it's uncertainty in a positive direction.
Yesterday was the big day when the Alamo Ward became the Alamo 1st and Alamo 2nd wards. I am a little sad to be leaving the Alamo 2nd ward when July rolls around. From what I heard the Alamo 1st ward has a ton of young'uns, you know the little teeny boppers straight out of high school or their first year of college. The 2nd ward has the older crowd or 21 - 30 year olds. That is where most of the people I hang out with are located. The 1st ward also has a good number of people that I hang with so, I am not worried about any of that. I will be sad when I have to transfer wards, but the church is true no matter where you go so I have no problemos with that. The coolest thing though was sacrament meeting yesterday. It was really a neat occasion to see two stake presidencies and two bishoprics sitting on the stand. I have never seen that before and it was quite interesting.
Things are going. Oh, and I have also decided to start training for a tri-athalon. I probably won't compete in one, but the training will do wonders!